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Mourning and Moving On

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Summary: After Jess' death, Sam grieves and mourns but as a certain Key teaches him, sometimes you have to move on, be happy and love again.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > Dawn-Centered > Pairing: Sam WinchestershadowtricksterFR71949021,1387 Apr 077 Apr 07Yes
Hey guys!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Timeline: For Buffy, post-Chosen. For SPN, anytime before Provenance (which is why Sarah isn't mentioned) so its slightly AU.
Genre: Slightly (okay maybe a lot) angsty at first, but the romantic part comes later)

Although it says Dawn centered, its from Sam's POV (although in fairness, he talks about Dawn a lot).

Please read and review!

~o0o~

That night, I felt so much pain that I didn't think it was possible for me to even go on.

After that, there was grief; it was like I would just burst out crying any minute and never, ever stop.

Then came the anger; Dean thought it was only anger against the Demon, for taking Jess away.

Sure, a huge part of his rage was directed towards the thing that took Jess and there was no doubt in my mind that there would be vengeance, there would be payback.

But some part of my anger, it was directed towards the rest of the world.

I knew from that point on that every time I would see some happy couple walking hand in hand in the street or some family having a nice picnic in the park with 2.5 kids or heck, even a two storey house with a nice garden and white picket fence...

I would be reminded of what I had lost forever.

Maybe even a little part was aimed towards God, or whatever heavenly being was out there for not watching over her, for not seeing how unfair it was to take her from him.

But after the anger, there was the guilt.

I had been having nightmares of Jessica dying; her blood dripping on my face, the terrified look in her glassy eyes, the heat and the blaze of the fire that consumed her.

And as for me?

I had done nothing.

And the worst part is, no matter how many times I berate myself for not being more careful considering I know what’s out there, there’s nothing I can do to bring her back.

Finally, when all these emotions have taken their toll, there's only one feeling left that's worse than all of them combined.

Emptiness.

A huge void that I knew, or rather thought, would never ever be filled, the kind that makes you want to curl into a ball and never wake up; never face the world ever again.

And for a time, it wasn't. There wasn't much Dean could do aside from comfort me and make me laugh and be there for me.

Hunting with him, saving people, it helped a lot too.

He's my brother, and I will probably love him more than anything else in the world till kingdom come.

But he will never replace Jess and he will never fill the void she left.

Then I met her.

And in a way I never thought was possible, my world changed forever.

~o0o~

Her hair, swaying gently in the wind.

Her blue eyes, bright and filled with intelligence and a glimmer of mischief.

Her lips, curled into a welcoming smile.

That's what she looked like, when I first met Dawn Summers.

Seeing as the Watchers' Council was... under new management, they had decided to reach out to all, or at least most of the hunters out there so as to help them, bring them up to date, so on and so forth.

Fast forward by a couple months and she's still the same girl Dean and I met.

Just that she seems happier than usual.

And most of the time when you see her, you'll usually find me hanging around.

Sometimes I feel guilty for moving on, when I once swore that Jess was the love of my life.

But as Dawn told me some time ago, the people who have gone on before us, she was pretty sure they wanted their loved ones to be happy, to move on.

So if falling in love again is what it takes to make me feel happy again, this is probably what Jess would have wanted.

As my brother likes to put it, for the first time since Jessica, Samuel Francis Winchester is 'whipped'.

Well, as much as I glare at my brother for saying that, especially in public, all I have to say is, I just can't help it.

She's amazing.

Sure, she’s beautiful.

She’s got a stunning smile, gorgeous eyes, amazing body and more.

But there’s more to her than what meets the eye.

Intelligence.

Kindness.

Great sense of humor.

Strength.

So many things about her that simply take my breath away, so many things abut her I simply can’t put into words.

I never thought I would feel this way again.

Not only that, but I can be more open with her than I was with Jess. Seeing as Dawn knows all abut the supenatural, there wasn't anything I needed to hide from her.

Since Jessica's death, no one has really made me smile or laugh aside from Dean.

But when I'm around Dawn, things change.

She makes me smile.

She makes me laugh.

She cheers me up when everything starts to get to me; the hunting, the grief, the pain.

She stays with me and makes sure I'm never alone.

She makes me feel loved.

She makes me feel wanted.

She makes me feel alive again.

And in this crazy world we live in full of demons and vampires and ghosts and apocalypses,

She makes me feel safe.

So sure, go ahead Dean, call me whipped.

As much as I will glare at him for saying that, I’m never gonna deny it.

I love every single little thing about Dawn Summers.

I love her.

~o0o~

Done! btw, what color are Dawn's eyes? I wasn't sure so i went with blue...

Please read and review!

The End

You have reached the end of "Mourning and Moving On". This story is complete.

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