Chapter Six: "I don't really wanna be the queen"
Disclaimer: The quotes are spoilers for the Grave, season six and belong to Joss Whedon and UPN and Mutant Enemy. The lyrics belong to Train (in case you have yet to notice :-P)
Note: This chapter doesn't have a Draco and Ginny aspect. It just didn't fit. I might come back and add one later, but this bridge (chorus?) seemed very Spike/Willow to me and that is what my muse let me put out :-)
Well she wants to be the Queen
Then she thinks about her scene
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the queen!"
"Uh oh. Daddy's home. I'm in wicked trouble now."
He hated watching her when she slept on those nights. Those nights when she relived the time she'd let the magic take her over. He hadn't been there and no one really saw it fit to tell him. They hardly saw fit to tell him anything, still. And she never wanted to talk about it. Of course not. He thought it would be good for her to really talk about it, like he finally had once about his turning his mother. However, whenever he mentioned it those shining leafy green eyes would darken and become haunted. Deader than he was. So. He stopped pressing. He probably shouldn't have. He should have made her see that she needed to live the event ... Again. Just once more-to come to peace with it-or else she would live it again and again. Like she did now.
"Is this the master plan? You're going to stop me by telling me you love me?"
He knew she'd said her sorries. He knew she'd gotten all "healed" and he knew, like the whelp and the Watcher did (like the others didn't), Willow would never be ALL better. Hell him with his damn soul he wasn't still all better. But that was the difference. He had his nightmares but he accepted them. He accepted them completely. A part of her still denied. Denied that she could have ever done such a thing. That's what had lead her to that path the first place, the path of Darth Willow as the geek liked to say in whispers. It had been so damn blindingly obvious that one day she'd head down that one. One day she probably would again, that is if what the Poofter said about her vampire doppleganger was to go by. He didn't care that a bit of her liked to taste the darker part of the wicked. He didn't care but she did. Unnecessarily so. Which it he found a bit funny.
It usually was the way. People could forgive others their transgressions so easily but when it came time to look inward ...
So she had a little gray. Spike, unable just to sit there and do nothing as the love of his unlife gave into panicked toss to fevered turn, flicked his cigarette out an open window and crawled onto the bed. He allowed himself a brief smile as she calmed almost instantly at his cool touch.
Who didn't have some variation of black in them? Leave a little trail of darth behind them?
After all. Even the Queen made mistakes.