Title: The Hardest Thing 2/5
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Alex Krycek belongs to Chris Carter, etc. Dawn and the other Buffy charcters belong to Joss Whedon.
Spoilers: Season 5 end Buffy, AU Season 9 end X-Files.
Summary: "I missed it. Like I miss everything else in their lives."
Authors Note: Huge thanks to SiN for looking these over for me.
"Dawn the hardest thing in this world... is to live in it. Be Brave. Live. For me."
That was the last thing she ever said, before she jumped, to save me, to save the world. A world that needs her far more than it needs me.
I mean, what would you rather have? The best slayer ever, or a fourteen year old girl who, if she bleeds in the right conditions, the world's gonna end? Exactly, you're gonna pick the slayer. Shows how clever she was. I was going to jump, but the stupid cow wouldn't let me. I mean, who's gonna miss me? Xander, Willow, Tara, Spike, Anya? They miss her more. I'm not even real am I?
Ok, who else? Dad? I've never met him. Not really. Since I became more than a ball of energy all we've heard from him is a few, late, cheques. We couldn't even get a hold of him when Mom died.
I only really have one person left. I'm not reallydaft enough to talk about this with my friends. Buffy's still here isn't she? She looks exactly the same. Warren did a great job. She. I really want to say 'it', 'cause it's not a she. It's a robot! But Willow says, listen to that, Willow says. She's become the real boss of us. Anyway, Willow says, she knows it's not her but we have to act like it is.
Does she even know how hard that is? Ok, of course she knows, but it's not fair! Now I'm sounding like a whiney teenager, but hello... I think I'm perfectly entitled to it. They can't expect me to bounce back from this and be the same, can they?
Oh! Sorry! My one person left? Alex. My cousin. He's great. Why hasn't anyone ever heard of him? Hello... he's an undercover agent, out saving the world. Don't laugh, it's about the only secret Buffy and I have ever been able to keep! He's like a big brother to us, me. And I can't even tell him about Buffy. Oh, he knows that she is, was, the slayer, but if my letter is opened the secret might be out, there's no slayer on the hellmouth.
I've never really met him either but we write all the time, well, when he can get letters out. OK, so it's usually emails. He knows these guys, The Lone Gunmen, yeah I know, lame. Anyway, they're like the best with computers and being paranoid. Well not as bad as Alex or that guy he always mentions, Mulder. But the Gunmen help Alex out.
Alex is great, although he's the one that gave her half the words for her stupid speech, it sounds like something he would say. I wish he was here, he'd let me talk and the he'd hug me or just sit in silence and hold my hand.
Oh, he'd talk at some point, actually it's kinda hard to shut him up sometimes. You should hear him, and it's so interesting I don't even zone out! He'd be a great teacher, but then it might be the subject, which he'd probably get locked up in a mental institution for talking about!
School's been finished a while now, I'm walking home, I don't really want to be, but where else can I go?
Turning the corner I almost expect everything to be back to normal, maybe Mom pulling to the curb, or Buffy waiting at the roadside tapping her foot and getting all impatient 'cause I'm late.
"No I don't know when Dawn will be home."
What? My head shoots up. Alex!
He's here, I know it's him, I can't see his face yet, but it's him! I run full pelt, the quickest time down the front path in months, and I hug him. I'm home, and I want to be here.