D is for Death Star
DISTRIBUTION: Twisting the Hellmouth
CROSSOVER: Star Wars
SUMMARY: Anyanka goes on vacation, granting wishes across the multiverse.
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the characters. They belong to a lot of people who aren’t me. I don't own Buffy, or Star Wars.
“Do you know how humiliating this all is?” D’Hoffryn was incensed, to the point where his handmaidens had all slunk silently out of the room.
“It seemed like a perfect opportunity at the time,” Anyanka said. “Seven million dead, an entire ecosystem ruined…”
It should have been enough to get her a promotion, a place in the Vengeance Demon hall of fame along with the demons who had created Smallpox, telephone salesman and boy bands. Instead, she was standing on the carpet being dressed down for doing her job.
“Galactic peace!” D’Hoffryn roared. “Do you know how smug the other side is about that? They are insufferable. They’ve been calling all day to congratulate me!”
Angelic beings did tend to be unbearably arrogant and annoying. That D’Hoffryn knew some of them on a first name basis was a surprise for Anyanka.
“We wouldn’t have any idea that was going to happen if it wasn’t for the Q,” Anyanka felt sullen. The peace thing wasn’t going to happen for at least half a millennium. She should have had those five hundred years of acclaim before someone noticed the unintended good side effects of her journey.
“If you hadn’t cursed the Q, you could have reversed the wish. As it is, we’re stuck with it.” D’Hoffryn stood. “What were you thinking, challenging a Q?”
“He insulted me,” Anyanka said, staring at the floor. “He said we were all lesser beings.”
“We ARE lesser beings! How long do you really think that Q is going to stay human? Taunting him was the act of a fool.”
D’Hoffryn hesitated, then smiled slightly. “It did show a little style. I’m going to get you out of here for a little while, send you to a different universe. Maybe things will cool down.”
If she was out of the universe when the Q found his revenge, he might not decide to erase the entire species.
It was impressive.
Anyanka couldn’t help but stare out the window at the thing, even though the woman beside her could talk of nothing else.’
“It’s always Death Star this and Death Star that…” The woman shook her head and said, “You’d think the head engineer would have a little time for his wife, but nooo. It’s all he can talk about, the gaudy thing.”
They were in a transport vessel near the Death Star. It loomed huge in the window, and Anyanka couldn’t help but be a little intimidated by it.
Sure, she’d destroyed a moon, but this thing had destroyed an entire planet. Billions of people on Alderaan hadn’t had time to scream before it tore their planet apart. This was thick big stick of a legitimate galactic government, the enforcement of the law.
She’d hate to have to destroy it.
Still, a wish was a wish. There were at least a million people on that thing, and if that didn’t get her a little recognition back, she didn’t know what would.
Plus, losing their main weapon might destabilize the galaxy for years to come. The death toll could be staggering.
It wouldn’t be the first civil war Anyanka had started, but the scale of it was breathtaking.
Absently, she noticed a cloud of small ships appear from seemingly out of nowhere. A moment later, flashed of light could be seen as ships emerged from the surface of the artificial moon.
“What’s the point in spending your whole life slaving away for credits if you never take time enough off to spend them?”
The woman was fat and self-absorbed, a product of a galactic elite that had been raised for a generation on corruption and abuse. She was irritating, but as always Anyanka kept calm. There was no point in telling a customer something they didn’t want to hear before the transaction had been made.
“I’m sure his work must be very important,” she said, knowing that would goad the woman into being less cautious with her words. No one liked being contradicted.
“It’s important enough, I guess, but it’s not as though he’s the only person who is still working on it. Sometimes I just wish it would all blow up in his face.”
Anyanka sighed. She admired the deceptive beauty of the Death Star, but perhaps by destroying it she’d get back a little of the credit she’d lost by destroying that Klingon moon.
“Gra-” she began to say, but before she could complete the word, the Death Star exploded.
The force of the blast hit the ship she was on, shattering the window and shredding the woman she was sitting with instantly. Anyanka herself was stunned as she was pulled into the vacuum of space, her body riddled with shards of whatever futuristic material the window had been made of.
She teleported down to the planet, some backwater place with a name she couldn’t remember. Sourly she began to pull shards out of herself.
She hadn’t blown that place up, even though she’d wanted to.
For the first time she noticed a shadowy presence beside her staring up at the sky.
It was short, green and wrinkled, and for a moment she thought it was the ghost of a frog demon. Those things were annoying.
A moment later she realized that it was just an astral projection, doubtlessly from one of the warrior-wizards that this universe had once seemed to have in such a profusion.
“Full of anger you are,” it said.
“I’m a Vengeance Demon,” she said irritably. She continued pulling out shards, some of which were lodged in embarrassing places. “I’m professionally angry.”
“Lasts forever anger does not. Cool it will.”
“It hasn’t gone away in a thousand years.” Anyanka pulled the last of the shards out. Perhaps there was some way she’d be able to take a little credit for this. After all, she had been going to make the wish, even if it hadn’t technically happened.
What D’Hoffryn didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.
“ Fading already it is,” the wizened old creature said. “Left what will be?”
“Shut up,” she said shortly. She knew his sort. They were always making cryptic announcements, then claiming credit when some portion of it came true. He was a faker and a fraud.
She teleported away, wondering why his words worried her.