Q is for Qo'noS
DISTRIBUTION: Twisting the Hellmouth
CROSSOVER: Star Trek: The old series, Star trek: The next generation. Others will follow.
SUMMARY: Anyanka goes on vacation, granting wishes across the multiverse.
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the characters. They belong to a lot of people who aren’t me. I don't own Buffy, Star Trek the original series, or Star Trek the Next Generation.
As crowds celebrated wildly on the streets below, Anyanka stared wistfully off into the distance.
It was the same as it always was. After a thousand years, one war began to blend into the next, though this one was larger than the ones in the past. They were calling it a world war, and the scope of it had truly been massive.
Trying for world domination seemed to be a national pastime with the Germans. They’d almost made it.
The vengeance business was going to be slow for a few months. People were happy, and happy people didn’t have much need for vengeance. What need there was they generally took upon themselves.
She hated it when business was slow. It gave her too much time to think, to reflect on the past. Being a demon was easier when you didn’t have to think.
Even the vengeance was getting old. A thousand years of human progress, and women still couldn’t come up with wishes more creative than exploding entrails or syphilis.
The same five problems repeated over and over ad nauseum. It was almost enough to make her want to scream.
She felt the presence appearing behind her.
“That was splendid work, Anyanka.”
D’Hoffryn’s voice, as always was smooth and cultured. Anyanka allowed her features to shift back to human, mostly because she knew it annoyed him.
“Why are you here?”
The demon smiled pleasantly and said, “Your record has been exemplary for the past century, but I get the feeling that lately you’ve just been going through the motions.”
“It gets a little dull sometimes,” Anya admitted. “Women today just don’t have the creativity they had in my day.”
“You are just getting jaded,” D’hoffryn said. He hesitated, then said, “How would you like a vacation.”
“I’ve never been much for time off…”
“How would you like to go to another planet?” At the sudden interest in her eyes, D’Hoffryn said, “We only have one operative in that universe, and she’s let things get disgustingly good and wholesome.”
“A vacation might be good.” Anya said quietly.
It was as beautiful a piece of vengeance as she could remember.
The entire moon was shattered, destroyed, and already the rest of this world was beginning to feel the effects.
It had been a rough couple of months; Klingons didn’t make vengeance wishes usually. They preferred to take vengeance themselves. Anyanka had to admit though, that when they made those kinds of wishes they were epic in scope.
She didn’t look half bad with forehead ridges either, though Klingon food was abysmal. Their personal hygiene left something to be desired as well.
The Klingon woman beside her was staring up in the sky in horror. A moment later she joined the crowds that were running back and forth. The entire planet was at risk.
If this didn’t get her a promotion, nothing would.
She felt someone step up behind her. She didn’t look; she was immune to harm and she wanted to keep looking at the shattered, dying moon.
“You’ve only helped them, you know.”
At this she did look back and was surprised to see a human figure standing behind her wearing a Starfleet uniform. That was brave considering that the Klingons were likely to gut anyone they saw wearing it.
She looked deeper, and blinked as she was almost blinded by the emanations of power.
“Q,” she said.
She’d never encountered one before, but she’d heard about them. They were as arrogant as any of the other higher powers, but more likely to interfere.
He smiled slightly, then looked up at the burning moon. “The Klingons were going to enter a fruitless war that was going to cost the lives of billions. This is going to change all that.”
Anyanka scowled. D’Hoffryn loved mayhem. He didn’t love peace and tranquility.
“You could even say that you’ve started the entire galaxy on the road toward a Utopian society that will last a thousand years.”
“You’re enjoying this.” Anyanka said. It was the nature of higher beings to take petty pleasure in the suffering of others. It was one of the only pleasures they had left in a universe that offered them no challenges.
As bored as she had been, she couldn’t imagine how bad it must have been to be an omnipotent being in a universe that didn’t offer any more surprises.
“Lesser beings shouldn’t engage in massive reality alteration without understanding the consequences.” Q shrugged. “I just thought you might want to know.”
Anyanka was outraged, even though it was true that she was less powerful than he was.
“It’s not wise to taunt a vengeance demon.” Her face shifted and changed into its true form.
“What are you going to do, wish me to death?” He laughed. “Even if you could affect me, I know how to reverse any wish you grant.” He glanced down at the amulet on her chest.
It was the source of her power, and involuntarily Anya’s hand went up to stroke it.
A flash of light and the Q changed his appearance to match that of her first boyfriend Olaf.
“I know everything there is to know about you, Aud.”
“You don’t know enough not to provoke me.”
One Klingon stood nearby and wasn’t joining the rest of the crowd in running madly back and forth. Debris from the moon was already falling to earth, and in the distance she could see flashes of light as large chunks entered the atmosphere.
“What do you think of this Q?” Anyanka asked. She’d caught a glimpse of his one’s aura when she’d nearly blinded herself looking at the Q.
The Klingon shuffled forward. “He’s no better than any other Q.”
“Q!” Q said. “What brings you to this neck of the universe?”
“We had a date.” The Klingon changed forms into that of a tall and regal woman. “You didn’t show up.”
“That must be irritating,” Anyanka said.
The woman glanced at her amusedly. Trying to trick higher powers was difficult.
“I was enjoying the view,” Q said. “I planned on jumping back to the time of our date.”
“Obviously you never did so, or I wouldn’t be here.” There was genuine irritation in the woman’s voice. “You’d think after ten thousand years you’d have learned to meet your obligations.”
“It makes you wish something would happen to him, doesn’t it?” Anyanka’s voice was hopeful, even though she knew it was a long shot.
The woman looked at her in annoyance. “I’m not so easily fooled.”
“Then why not make a wish that he’ll like?”
“Vengeance demons don’t make wishes that people like.”
Anyanka shrugged. “Wouldn’t you say this Q looks bored? Ten thousand years and nothing to do, nothing unexpected?”
The woman didn’t speak, but the sudden look of interest in her eyes alarmed the other Q.
“So wish that he lives in interesting times.”
Both Q were silent for a long moment.
Before the male Q could respond, the female said “I wish he lived in interesting times.”
Anyanka grinned, and said, “Granted.”
The male Q strode toward her and Anyanka held up her hand before he could do anything to her.
“If you are really an omnipotent being, you should be able to undo anything a lesser being does to you.”
“It’s the principle of the thing.”
“So you wish to live in uninteresting times?” Anyanka grinned as he stopped.
“Fine,” he said. Turning to the other Q, he said, “I don’t think I feel like going on that date.”
A flash of light and he vanished. A moment later the woman vanished as well.
“May you live in interesting times” was an old Chinese curse. Anyanka would have to watch to see how it played out.
Q was alone in his new quarters, shaking.
The continuum had banished him, stripped him of his powers and made him human. The enormity of the loss was almost enough to make him comatose. If he didn’t still have pride, he’d curl up in a ball and weep.
Mustn’t let Jean-Luc see him like that, so he had to keep up appearances.
He heard the sound of movement behind him and he turned, hoping to see another Q. If he could only plead his case, maybe he could get reinstated.
Instead it was that woman, the Vengeance demon.
“I take it you’re finding times interesting enough,” She had the gall to smirk.
He lunged toward her, hoping to get his hands around her power center. If he could destroy it, there was a chance that the curse might be reversed.
Of course, if she’d granted other wishes since she’d granted his, it wouldn’t help, but it would strand her here and make him feel better in the process.
She grabbed his hands and held them easily away from her.
She leaned close, taunting him with the closeness of the amulet.
“Enjoy your new life,” she said.
Then she vanished.
Q scowled. If he ever got his powers back, she was going to regret this.