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Summary: Buffy and Faith accidentally find the entrance to the wizarding world, also known as Diagon Alley! See what happens next!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Multiple Pairings > Humor(Past Donor)SchizophrenFR151013,41006621,71311 May 0725 May 09No


We own nothing. Buffy belongs to Joss Whedon an Harry Potter belongs to Joanne K. Rowling only the story and the sick Jokes are ours.

English is not out first language so do not chop our heads off for evil spelling mistakes.

This story plays after the First in Buffyverse

And after the fourth book of Harry Potter, but before HBP.

Just a warning: Some Characters are very Ooc, if you don’t like that, don’t read it!!

Buffy and Faith accidentally find the entrance to the wizarding world, also known as Diagon Alley! See what happens next!

Faith kicked the stone hard and from afar a voice was shouting:

“Hey, that was my head.”

“And it was my bloody stone, do you hear me complaining?” Faith smirked and ignored the loudly cursing man.

“He is your bloody watcher, B. So it was your job to take that bloody piece of paper and you didn’t, so now we are stuck here in freak-town. Nobody is speaking decent English here, who the hell says fag when they mean a cigarette?!”

“Calm down, Faith. And by the way it was your job to get that piece of paper from Giles.”

“Okay, we both missed to get the paper, but I think it was mostly Xander's fault, ‘cause he was running around naked again.”

“Don’t remind me, bad mental image. But do I have to remind you, that you have slept with him, you have seen him naked before.”

Faith snorted and whined.

“You know I have made two big mistakes in my life, killing that guy was one and the other was sleeping with Xander.”

“Back to the problem, we have to get that book and we don’t have the address, so what are we gonna do now?!”

“I could be wrong, but I think the name of the store was something like, leaky or holey wasn’t it?!”

Buffy's face lit up as she pointed at a sign across the street.

“I think you’re right and wasn’t it a witch-store, so it would be logical if there was a witch on the sign?!”

Faiths eyes followed Buffy's pointing finger and shrugged her shoulders.

“Couldn’t do much damage, if we sneak a peek.”

Together they marched across the street to the sleazy looking shop. The doors of the Leaky Cauldron swung open and the Slayers stepped inside.

“I don’t think this is a bookstore.” Faith said after she took a look around.

“Or maybe they are so good at selling books, that they don’t have anything left.”

“Yeah right B. they are so good, that they have sold the bookshelves with them and replaced them with tables, chairs, people and a bar.”

“Maybe these are the people who bought all the stuff.” Faith just stared, Buffy waved aside her last comment and said:

“Okay, just kidding.”

Buffy looked around the room and her eyes fell on a dark haired man in the corner, sitting all alone.

“I don’t think he is the reading type anyway.”

The dark haired man raised from his chair his robes billowing around him, his lips fixed into a permanent sneer.

“Are you talking to me?”

Faith laughed, looked him up and down and said:

“No I don’t even want to look a you, why do I should want to talk to you, Mr. Roody-Pooh.”

Buffy quirked an eyebrow at the dark haired slayer and mouthed:


Faith blushed and looked away. Buffy snickered, both ignoring the confused looking man in the corner.

“You are spending too much time with Willow. She is rubbing off on you.”

“You have no idea, B.” She paused for a second and then remembered what she had said.

“Hey, but he really looks like an Roody-Pooh, don’t you think?”

Buffy cocked her head to the side and tapped her chin while she examined the dark scowling guy.

“At least I can see the Pooh, but I can’t see where you get the Roody.”

“How dare you make fun of me. Cause I am the great and incredible…” Faith interrupted his speech, she screamed excited.

“Hulk, you are the Hulk.” Buffy clapped her hands and asked with a childlike glee.

“Can you get green for me?”

The Guy turned red from anger, his nostrils flaring and his breath came out in short puffs.

“Not red, green, you get it all wrong.” Buffy exclaimed disappointed, her smile fading.

Faith smirked.

“Be careful B. He is huffing and puffing, he could blow this house up.”

“This house doesn’t look too solid anyway, maybe it’s wise to go, before he explodes.” Buffy answered looking around. Faith snickered at her words, till Buffy continued:

“We should stop mocking him, cause Giles always says, be nice to poor people.”

Faith looked confused at her sister slayer and asked:

“How do you know he is poor?”

“That’s easy, he can’t even effort water to wash his hair, of course he is poor.”

The guy lost it at that moment and shouted, his face twisted in an angry mask.

“You two imbeciles, who do you think you are?! No one is allowed to talk to Severus Snape like that.”

Buffy and Faith looked at each other and Faith whispered:

“Willow says it is not healthy to talk about yourself in the third person, it means you do not have much confidence.”

Buffy nodded wisely and whispered back:

“He doesn’t look very healthy.”

Snape had enough and yanked his wand out of his sleeve.

“You will regret making fun of me.”

“Oh Faith, we must be careful now, he has a stick.”

“Yeah right Roody-Pooh will kill us all with his stick. Really B. what will he do?! Throw it at us?!”

“Stupefy.” yelled Snape. A white light shot out of his wand, right at the Slayers. Buffy and Faith sprang apart while Buffy asked stunned.

“What the hell was that?”

Faith shrugged her shoulders and aimed for her target.

“I don’t care what it was, I will get that stick from Roody-Pooh.”

“Shut up you wench.” Snape shouted and pointed his wand at Faith.

Buffy groaned while taking a few steps beck.

“I wouldn’t have said that if I were you, but if I were you, I would take a long shower, but that’s a completely different story. The last time someone called Faith a wench it ended pretty ugly.”

“You are calling me wench, stinky?!”

Faith lunged forward, ducking two spells and tackling Snape to the ground, knocking him out.

“Faith are you alright?!”

“What do you think B. I am the slayer and he had a stick, of course I am alright.” Faith answered and rose gracefully to her feet. Looking at the wand in her hand.

“I will take that home, so Willow can take a look at it.” Buffy shrugged.

“But don‘t point it at me.”

Both Slayers spun around, as a voice called.

“What’s going on down here?” Buffy pointed at the still unconscious Snape.

“He attacked us.”

Tom looked from the wand in Faiths hand to Snape and asked in disbelieve.

“You have beaten Professor Snape in a Duel. That has never happened before, you must be a powerful witch. I bet Mr. Ollivander would love to meet you, just tap the brick on the wall outside to get into Diagon Alley!”

Buffy looked at Faith confused and mouthed:

“Diagon Alley?!”

“Witch?!” Faith mouthed back. Then Buffy shrugged her shoulders and smiled at the creepy innkeeper.

“Do you think we can get a book about “Rituals in ancient England” there?”

“Of course. Just go to Flourish&Blotts.”

“Thanks. I think.” Buffy grabbed Faiths arm and pulled her to the back door, at which Tom was pointing.

We hope you enjoyed out first chapter, if you want there will be more of it ;D

Reviews are welcome, be nice it was out very first Fanfic in English.
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