Wha - WHAT?!

Disclaimer: in first chapter.

A/N: at end.

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"Pomfrey, go get Minerva, she might be able to shed some light upon Regina's present circumstances," Dumbledore instructed the agitated witch quietly. She nodded and rushed from the room, happy to be out of range of that disturbing violet glow.

Snape shot an unfathomable look at the Headmaster, "You have some idea of what this is, don't you? Or at least some suspicion, yes you must, else you wouldn't have sent the only trained medi-witch in the castle off on some insignificant errand."

Dumbledore smiled, "Oh Severus, you know me too well. Yes, I have had my own theories about young Regina for quite some time. She has taken quite a shine to Miss Lovegood, hasn't she?"

"Yes," the Potions Master agreed, repressing the urge to grind his teeth, "But what does that have to do with this?" He gestured towards the bed and at the figure laying upon it.

What had once been a Kneazle was now most definitely not. The pale brown fur so reminiscent of a lioness had been the first thing to go, unceremoniously shed as a whole. Madame Pomfrey had managed to get the majority of it off the bed and away from her patient, it sat in a small bag at the end of the bed. Without her fur, Regina looked much smaller, rather helpless as her hairlessness highlighted the obvious wound on her side and the previous scars across her belly.

Slowly, under their watchful and confused gaze, what had been a Kneazle was slowly morphing into something that was definitely not. If Severus had to make a guess he would say that what was on the bed was probably a hominid of some sort, though it was still changing and what it would end as was anyone's guess at this point.

"Are you familiar - pardon the pun - with some of the more controversial theories on Merlin's familiar?" Dumbledore inquired, completely derailing the Potions Master's train of thought. "Specifically those referring to her, ahem, relationship with him?"

Severus flushed, of all the things for the Headmaster to bring up at the moment, the possible bestial proclivities of one of their most renowned historical figures was definitely not what he had been expecting! "I had heard and discounted the stories," he said slowly, "I myself subscribe more to the theory that he had no familiar."

"Oh, he had a familiar, Severus. In this case, I find it rather ironic that the muggle legends scratch closer to the surface of the truth than our own. Did you know that some of the muggle's tales end with Merlin being turned into a tree?" Dumbledore asked, eyes twinkling merrily.

"No," Severus bit out through gritted teeth, "I did not. Professor - "

"Quite fascinating, really. In fact, Merlin's affection for trees, and nature in general, stemmed from the fact that his familiar was a dryad, a rather lovely one from what little rumor I have been able to dig up."

"Wha - what?"

The Headmaster basked for a moment in the rare feeling of accomplishment that suffused him when he managed to render his unflappable Potions Master speechless. "I believe that Regina has more in common with Merlin's familiar than with, say, Miss Granger's Crookshanks. But we shall see. In the meantime, Severus, would you care for a spot of tea while we wait on Poppy and Minerva?"

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"Not human?" If there had been something to sit sink down onto in this not-place, Dawn would've sat down with a 'thump.' "I'm not human?"

"Not originally." He shifted sideways and took a step back, it was usually at this point in his visits that the Slayer would start to threaten him - he wasn't taking any chances with little sis. The girl looked nice and shell-shocked, it was the perfect time to finish dropping the other shoe. "Kiddo?"

Her eyes were wide as she stared off at the nothing that surrounded them, "What?"

"There's more..."

Dawn flapped a hand at him, "Make with the telling. It's not like there's anything left that could shock me." She chuckled a little, "First I'm not real, I'm some sort of mythical destructo-device, then I'm made from Buffy and Joyce, then I'm stuck as some sort of weirdo cat - because the universe hates me - and now you tell me that I was something ELSE, something not-human, before all this mess that is my life? Tell me Whistler, what else could there be?"

"You're not the only Key anymore?"

"WHAT?!"

He winced at the shrill tone of the teen's shriek, "Look kid, Glorificus's ritual wasn't supposed to go that far. She was supposed to be killed way back, but the Powers didn't take into account random whack-jobs like Doc and Ben going all hail-the-Hellbitch. When the portal got opened they had a chance to do a little fixing, a quick dirty fix mind you, but some fixing all the same. They took the monk's original spellwork, that's you Dawn, and the Key's essence and they... well, they spread it out."

"Huh?"

Whistler sighed, "The Key can't be destroyed, but it can't be left to sit in one dimension either. If it does, it'll be like a second Hellmouth, calling all the evils of the world to take advantage of the big-shiny-green-orb of power. Bad idea. So the Powers took the Key energy and the monk-spell and voila! You're not the only Dawn anymore."

"I repeat, huh?"

The balance-demon huffed, Powers save him from annoying teenagers who didn't take their science electives. "You used to be an original, the only Dawn in all the multiverse, capiche?"

"Ok, one girl in all the multiverse, got it."

"When the portal opened, the Powers managed to spread the monk's spell through all the different dimensions. There is now a Dawn in every possible world and she's exactly like you, for all intents and purposes she IS you. Just born into a different family, so maybe you minus Buffy and Joyce's tender influences. Every single one of these Dawn's has a tiny bit of the Key in them, just enough to give them an extra 'oomph' but not enough to make them the latest greatest taste-sensation since the Siamese cat."

"Ew to the kitten poker reference, and double ick cuz hey! Been a cat for the last six months! Do not take kindly to the thought of people - erm, demons - eating my feline brethren."

"Feline you may be - well, sort of - but you're not really a kneazle."

"Ok... huh?"

Whistler stifled a smile, geez if he'd known that confusion trumped anger he'd have shown up to give the Slayer doom-news with a box of chocolates laced with LSD. Ah well... "Look, kid - "

"No, you look, Mister-balancey-demon-of-the-atrocious-wardrobe! I have been transmogrified, kidnapped, hit by a car, and confused by your blinding clothing and muddled explanations long enough! Just... just give it to me straight, ok?"

The messenger nodded, chastened out of his usual sarcastic attitude by the genuine tears in Dawn's eyes. "Like I said, the monks weren't mages, just well-meaning protector-types with a whole lot of pure intent and the backing of a few of the more powerful players on the side of all that's Light and fluffy. They had to work with what was closest to them, and they were on a mountain when they first 'set' the spell, so the original 'donator' to your... erm... existence was a nephelae."

"A what?" She threw up a hand to forestall his forthcoming explanation, "I know what a nephelae is!" Dawn's hands clenched into fists at her sides and her eyes flashed with fury, "Are you trying to tell me that - that I'm some sort of freaking cloud sprite?!"

"Well, technically a 'sprite' is a dryad or a - "

"WHISTLER!"

"Well, yes and no kid. Y'see, the nephelae was only the first ingredient. When the monks finally set the spell loose and really made you made you, there was another ingredient: your sister. Only they really didn't take into account all that your sister brought to the equation." He eyed her meaningfully, waiting for the knowledge to sink into her overtaxed brain.

Dawn went pale and swallowed weakly, licking her lips. "The Slayer?"

"Right in one, kiddo. So we got nephelae, Slayer, and Key all running through your veins and making you a veritable potluck of mystical hoo-ha. When the Powers did their spread-the-joy schtick, they managed to lay some of it to rest, but you still have bits of Key in you. They had to get you off the 'mouth, so they - ah, encouraged - the Watcher to take you with him to England. They figured that you'd be better off with a more experienced eye to look after you, and eventually someone would figure out that something 'wiggy' was going on."

The teenager rolled her eyes, "Have your bosses been paying any attention to us the last few years? When do we ever figure out something wiggy this way comes until the last friggin' minute?!"

"Ya gotta point there, kid, but that's how free will works. So, there you are all magically-maladied and a whole Coven of the world's most experienced witches right there and somehow you manage to get in even more trouble!"

"What can I say?" Dawn asked, idly inspecting a - gasp! HUMAN! - fingernail. "It must have been a Tuesday."

"It was a Thursday," Whistler informed her wryly, "Not that it matters. Anyways, you botched your spell and added a whole 'nother layer of magical residue on top of the rest and then you managed to get yourself bonded to a player in one of the other great wars the Powers are lookin' after."

"The whole thing with Draco and I," Dawn started, looking rather worried, "That's not some weird mojo-thing that the Powers have gimmicked up to keep me in line, is it?"

"Nah, that's 100% your own, kid. The PTB are finding that whatever universe they plunk you in, you manage to be an agent of Chaos." He chuckled, "In some of the other multi-verses, you manage to hook up with that Harris kid and start some real trouble!"

She nodded, looking relieved. "So I'm a nephelae-Slayer-Kneazle-Key-thing. Does that about sum it up?"

"Basically," the balance-demon nodded, then winced, "Except for the fact that somehow within the last half-hour or so you've managed to become something else entirely. We're not sure what, or how, but you're not even remotely human anymore. You've got more of the Slayer-nephelae left than anything else."

Dawn frowned down at her feet, watching herself stand on nothing was a bit of a head-trip, but it wasn't anything compared with what Whistler was telling her. "So... where does that leave me?"

"Dunno kid, the Powers just wanted you brought up to speed so you won't freak out too much when - "

"When what?"

"When you wake up."

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A/N2: So... hi everyone! Anyhoo, this chapter is for everyone who reviewed so nicely (you know who you are). Life sucks, and I'm sorry. Bit rushed right now, but I thought you might want this chapter NOW, along with the assurances that I'll be working on finishing the rest soonish. Life and full-time job permitting.

Oh, and a "nephelae" is something I wiki'ed. It's supposed to be a cloud-spirit, along the same order as a dryad or a naiad. THIS is where the whole story has been going since the beginning, folks. Don't believe me? Look back at some of Luna's commentary...

Toodles till next chappie!