How many licks does it take?
See Chapter 1. Spoilers:
See Chapter 1. None.Summary:
Snack foods as weapons? Only in her dreams.Author's Notes:
This was an odd idea I had.Word count:
1,612 (8 of 10)
Vi dropped a loaded paper plate in front of Kim before grabbing a stool for herself. Kim stared down at the pile of oblong objects. They were almost the same color as twinkies but skinnier, with long sticks coming out of one end.
"Are these what I think they are?" she asked, tentatively poking one. A vaguely familiar odor, mixed with the distinctive smell of something deep fried, wafted up to her sensitive nose. "What do they taste like?"
"What?" The other slayer stared at her like she'd suddenly sprouted horns and a tail. "You've never eaten a corndog?"
"Umm, no," Kim admitted, watching her companion dipping one of the things in a large puddle of mustard on her own plate, its edibility in question. Especially since Ron, Wade, and Rufus were all fans of the things. "I try to avoid fried foods. What's in it?"
"Hotdog on a stick. Dipped in cornbread. Deep fried," Vi said, taking a large bite from one end before using the corndog as a visual aid. "Try one. Multiple uses. Faith approved."
"Multiple uses?" Kim stared at the corndogs trying to imagine what could be done with one besides eat it. Especially with that shape and a Faith seal of approval. "Eww..." she blurted out, blushing as one such use occurred to her.
"Gutter much, Possible?" Vi said, smirking at her. "I knew you weren't as innocent as you claimed."
"Hey!" Kim protested. "Just because everything's possible for a Possible doesn't mean I do that!"
"Just eat the thing," Vi said, shaking her head. "It's a hotdog, not anything else."
"Okay." Kim gingerly picked one up, cautiously sniffing it. Her stomach gurgled in encouragement. She could do this, she told herself. It had been a long time since lunch.
"It won't bite," Vi told her. "Don't be shy." Before Kim could take a bite, Vi snapped her head around towards the other side of the midway. "Feel that?"
"Maybe..." Kim said, looking in the same direction. "Vampires?"
"Yes." Pulling the rest of her corndog from its stick and stuffing it into her mouth, Vi grabbed a couple more and gestured for Kim to take the rest before walking nonchalantly in the direction they'd sensed vampires.
Hoping to calm her stomach, Kim quickly ate one as she raced to catch up.
"Ready?" Vi whispered as they approached the funhouse they'd just seen several vampires enter.
"Weapons?" Kim asked, hoping Vi could produce something they could use since they'd had to leave their stakes in the car.
"Corndogs," Vi told her with a small smirk.
"Corndogs?" Kim looked down at the three she was holding.
Vi waved the one she was currently eating and showed Kim the pointed sticks she held in her other hand.
"Oh! Got it. Why didn't you say so earlier?" Her stomach growling in protest, Kim started to pull the corndogs from their sticks, nibbling on them before throwing them into a nearby trash barrel.
"Save one," Vi ordered before Kim had finished. "Part of the disguise," she added at Kim's confused look. "Ready?"
Kim nodded, swallowing a bite of corndog and following her through the entrance.
"What have we here?" the large vampire said as Kim and Vi came around the corner into a large, mirror covered room.
"Are redheads really spicy like they say?" one of the others asked as they encircled the two slayers.
"Like buffalo wings but the fear makes them better," another one said, his yellow eyes gleaming in the dim light.
Vi continued eating her last corndog, her face radiating innocence. Kim knew Vi was poised for action only because she'd spent the last week training with her. Trying to follow her example and nibbling on her own remaining corndog, Kim wondered how Vi could appear so calm when they were outnumbered. She hoped the vampires didn't see the corndog sticks in her other hand.
"What do you guys want?" Vi asked them. Kim marveled at the faint tone of fear she was able to inject into such a simple question.
"I'm the big, bad wolf," the large one said. "I'm going to eat you and your friend right up. But first I'm going to make you scream." His threat was followed by an almost inaudible screech as he turned to dust when a corndog stick imbedded itself in his heart.
"My momma always told me not to play with my food," Vi said to Kim. "Ready to stick it to them?"
Before Kim could answer, the remaining vampires disappeared in balls of green flame.
"You need better material," Shego said, stepping out from between two mirrors just behind Kim.
"That's cheating!" Kim said, turning around to confront her. "And not fair. I wanted to slay a vampire. It was my turn. Right Vi?" Kim look back over her shoulder. "Vi?" Confused, Kim looked around but both Vi and Shego had disappeared and she was all alone in a large room that seemed to be one large mirror.
"Stupid dreams," Kim grumbled, collapsing onto the floor. Closing her eyes, she tried to think her way out of it. Usually, by this point that blonde would have shown up and ended the dream for her. Maybe this wasn't one of those kinds of dreams? But why had Shego shown up if it wasn't? While she was trying to figure it out the floor started to shake and she could hear something being whispered in one ear.
Kim groaned and batted at the noise, trying to ignore both the shaking and the whisper. "Go 'way!" she grumbled.
"I hope she's had her shots," a familiar voice said.
"What?" Kim sat up quickly, blinking in the bright light.
"You were drooling," Ron said helpfully. "Shego was asking if you'd had your rabies shot yet."
Kim glared at her sometime nemesis who just smirked at her. "I don't think she's ever going to get close enough for it to matter," Kim told him, rubbing her eyes. "Why's she here? Open House isn't for another week. And she's not invited."
"I was in the neighborhood," Shego said, in a bored voice. "Thought I would check out the lair and see how the other half lived."
"It's not a lair," Kim said, trying not to grind her teeth together as she spoke, looking around for something to throw at her grinning, soon to be ex, friend.
"So slayers are cute, fluffy flower children?" Shego asked, idly twirling one of Kim's stakes.
"No..." Kim mumbled a not so snappy comeback, not used to the idea of having an actual semi-civil conversation with Shego yet. "Gimme that!" she said, making an unsuccessful grab for the stake.
"You may not be a sexy super-villain like myself," Shego began, ignoring Ron's muttered 'minion', "but a slayer is a hunter, a predator. Top of the mystical food chain. Not a Girl Scout with a vampire slaying merit badge. Correct?"
"Well, yes," Kim said, reluctantly agreeing with her. It wasn't something she really liked to think about. It wasn't how she thought of herself. The Girl Scout idea was closer to how she saw herself, no matter how untrue.
Shego nodded. "Predators have lairs. Simple."
"Ron!" Kim said, giving him another glare as she stood up. He must have told Dr. Drakken at some point, probably the last time he'd gotten into a hair-pulling contest with the blue miscreant. And Drakken couldn't keep a secret from Shego if his life depended on it.
"I didn't say anything!" Ron loudly protested, holding up his hands. Rufus poked his head out of a pocket at the noise, and seeing Shego, squeaked before adding his two cents.
Kim shook her head at the pair before turning back to Shego. "So, why are you here again?"
"Guided tour?" Shego asked in an amused tone. "Or I can come back later and do the self-guided thing with Drakken."
"Off limits," Kim told her firmly.
"Yeah," Ron added. "No mad scientists in the Kimlair."
"Dr. D will be so disappointed," Shego said, tossing the stake at Kim.
"It won't kill him," Ron said, leaning against the door.
"Why are you really here?" Kim asked, sitting back down.
"Shoo, boy wonder!" Shego waved a hand in Ron's direction.
"This is between Kimmie and me," Shego said, her hands starting to glow.
"We're going, we're going," Ron shouted, racing for the door.
"So... where were we..." Shego muttered, stalking over to Kim.
"Before that," Shego muttered. "Oh yeah..."
Watching Shego leave in her hovercar from the second floor lab window, Kim gave the nearest Dweeb a deadly glare. "That's the last time I let one of you pick out dinner," Kim growled. "I so didn't need to dream about hotdogs on pointed sticks."
"Don't be dissin' Pop Pop Porter's culinary magic," Ron said, causing Kim to groan.
"What did Shego want?" Wade asked, his voice blaring from the inter-com.
"You didn't listen to our convo?" Kim asked, feigning amazement.
"She said she'd burn us out if I did," Wade told her.
"And you let her order you around?" Ron asked.
"This is Shego we're talking about," Wade said. "Bad attitude and plasma balls."
"Oh, yeah." Ron visibly shivered. "So what did she want?"
"It was personal," Kim said, blushing at Ron's wide-eyed look. "Not personal personal," she added. "But I promised I wouldn't say." Not that she thought they would believe Shego's request anyway but a promise was a promise and a Possible didn't break a promise. She would have to involve one of her friends at some point but preferably not one of the testosteronely challenged. Maybe Monique?