Disclaimer: Not mine, no money. I tried something different.
The third thing Kate Todd said when she first arrived was, "Why am I in Valhalla?" It wasn't an idle question, she could smell the wood smoke from the floor she was lying on, those walls were made out of logs, and the guy who was standing over her, grinning like a wolf, was wearing various animal skins as clothing and only had one eye. He told her, "It's not quite the same." He finally got around to helping her up, and dusted her off professionally, without taking the opportunity to grope her that Tony would have, or getting flustered and embarrassed and not doing a complete job the way McGee would have. "It's an afterlife for you, but for them," and he gestured, and encompassed the tables of young women, "it's their first life. You're here to help them live just a bit longer."
The second thing she said when she first arrived was "Who are you?" and she reached for a gun that was no longer at her hip, even though the motion set her head to pounding like a tequila hangover. The man had several daggers hanging off of him in odd places (the one around his neck was ornate and curved and probably had a specific purpose because it was too short to be of much use as a weapon, and also in an awkward position to draw quickly for defense). He didn't frighten her, though, it was the two teenaged girls standing behind him in rumpled tunics belted over leggings. They were standing with one hip cocked, giving her bored looks endemic to the age group, and casually letting swords dangle from their hands. The one on the left had something that looked more Asian, with its short, thin blade and simple handle, but the one on the right was holding a Braveheart style broadsword like it was a clutch purse. Kate glanced around and noticed that there were other girls around, mostly seated at tables. They were ignoring her, in the way that undercover agents took years to perfect. "You're dead," the man over her said, in an American accent. "I'm Xander Harris. Welcome."
She remembered the sun beating down on the roof, still riding the adrenaline rush of the last few minutes (hours? days?) of action, and then she was flat on her back, opening her eyes into darkness that resolved quickly into a low ceiling, firelight flickering and dancing along the walls.
The first thing she said when she first arrived was, "Ow. Gibbs? What happened?"