Went to the Doctor's with my mom today, and this hit me. Please don't be upset with my portrayal of House or his situation. Really, for this story, any doc'd do. I just happen to like Hugh Laurie from Jeeves and Wooster and the few episodes of House that I've seen.
I own neither House nor Buffy, or any characters/settings therein
Dr. Gregory House had crossed one too many lines. Up until now, the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital had been willing to turn a blind eye for a brilliant diagnostician, but his latest run-in with authority was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. He had been demoted, exiled to a little hospital in California where (they hoped) he wouldn't be able to get into too much trouble. They made him leave his apartment and his go-to team of sidekicks, and brave the bright, constant sunshine that was sure to undermine his stormy disposition. He could still be useful, of course. Enough weird cases came through Sunnydale that needed
a good medical problem-solver. That didn't mean they paid
House had been working at the Sunnydale Hospital for a few months now, and, as nobody around here had the proper respect for genius, and they wouldn't pay him unless he complied, he was forced to take on a few regular patients. The injustice of it all rankled him. He was in a sourer mood than usual as he made his way down to his motorcycle in the parking lot. He passed some guys who must
be interns accepting the delivered blood donations from the Red Cross. The idiots were not being nearly careful enough with the substance that would save many of his patients' lives. He knew he was just in some backwater hospital in Nowheres-ville, California, but this was unacceptable.
“Guys, this is no way to handle blood donations. I know you're all seriously mentally deficient, but even the most asinine simpleton knows not to open the coolers.”
The supposed interns looked up at him with golden eyes and deformed faces, before the nearest one grabbed him around the neck and bit savagely into his jugular vein. House's nimble mind's last act was to try to determine what was medically wrong with his captors, before he slipped into unconsciousness.
A few nights later, Willow and Xander were on their way home after a late night library session. Research was going well, they had identified the latest creature feature, and had the beginnings of a plan to stop it from eating any more grocers, which it seemed to consider a delicacy. Just a couple of blocks from Willow's house, they were attacked by two vampires, both fledglings. Together they managed to dust one, and the other, realizing that it's prey was not as helpless as it seemed, took off into the night.
“Xander!” Willow exclaimed in shock, "That vamp that got away! That was my new doctor!”
Willow looked stunned and remorseful for a minute before she started giggling quietly to herself.
“Uh, Wills? Guy you knew just died, not seeing the funny here.”
“Sorry,” Willow began, still with a small smile on her face. “It is really sad. I mean, it's always sad, and the guy'd only been here for a few months, but...” She chuckled a bit more, before turning a wide, slightly guilty grin on her old friend, “My PCP is 'on PCP'!”
Shaking his head, Xander smiled and continued on toward the Rosenberg residence. Willow giggled all the way to her front door.