Disclaimer: I do not own Anya or SPD
Anya glanced over her shoulder at the big blue scaly dog. What the hell kind of universe did she beam into? These people were not demons and the lady with the ears smelled like a cat. Damn stupid portals. Why couldn’t they ever drop a girl some place normal, like Hawaii? Hawaii would be nice with lots of men with no shirts running around.
But these people were just plain weird. Talk about strange and unusual. The four teenagers to her left were human, but they were not normal by any human standpoint. Nope not of the normal. She had seen it with her own eyes when they captured her. The guy in red had used some kind of force field, the one in yellow had duplicated her-self and the chick in pink had socked her two ways from Sunday with a rock hard fist.
And what the hell was with the dork in green? He was standing there waving at her with his un-gloved hand. Maybe it was their custom. Smiling, she waved back.
“She’s clean,” said the freaky green dude.
Anya frowned. “And why wouldn’t I be? Granted there was the time Xander had the....”
Doggie Cruger listened with absolute horror at the woman who quite easily had every one in the room blushing. He couldn’t believe that anyone could be so vulgar, yet here she was. She had seemed innocent enough, but so had other alien beings they had come across. However the never-ending stream of words that were coming out of her mouth was so shocking that he was certain that she could bring Grumm to shame.
Kat gulped. Never in all the years she had known Doggie, had she seen him turn that shade of blue. This woman even had him blushing. It was fascinating, really. It was as if she needed to stop her from speaking, but curiosity won out. She needed to know if their visitor could get any worse.
Syd’s immediate reaction to this woman was to laugh, but she held it in. She wasn’t quite sure if it would be appropriate, and she was absolutely certain that Sky wouldn’t approve. She was certain however that this woman couldn’t possibly be human. She had hit the woman who called herself, Anya, in the face with a diamond fist, and she still proceeded to tell them about all the atrocious things that could happen to the male anatomy.
Z blinked and kept blinking. Too bad Jack had to miss this. She fingered the small recorder on her belt, which she had activated five minutes ago when it was clear the woman wasn’t going to stop and that no one was going to make her. Good thing he could still hear it. Man, were they going to have a good laugh over this later.
Bridge kept waving at the woman in front of him. He couldn’t believe it. Everything she was telling them was true. Not one lie. He sure wasn’t counting on this when he told his superiors that the woman had been clean. Now he was going to change his mind. She was clean of any crime, unless having a dirty mind was a crime that is. He blanched, okay. He did not need to hear that you could that with buttery toast. He was going to swear off of it for a while.
Sky had crossed his legs the moment she started talking. The woman was not normal, and so not clean. He was going to have a long talk with Bridge about his use of words after all this was said and done. The woman was crazy. There had to be no truth to what she was saying. Either that or she just had an odd fetish.
He was squirming in his boots now. If he had to hear one more thing about the many ways to torture a man, he was going to shoot himself. Good thing that portal is opening up beneath her... Wait...portal! And like that, she was gone.
He barely had time to react before the portal closed. Glancing around at his team members, he saw each of them staring at the spot she had just vacated. All with looks ranging from amusement to absolute horror. Surprisingly it was Kat who was the first to speak.
“Okay, that was...dirty.”
I hope you liked it! Please review!