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a/n: The Willow pairing will most likely change. Last edited--7/14/01
Willow opened her eyes and looked up at her ceiling. 'Yep, its still there,' she thought, 'and I'm still here.' She glanced over at the empty bookshelf lining the right side of the wall, 'Yep, still empty.' She sighed audibly. Nothing had changed in the past minute, or the past three hours since she'd come home from her secret Xander-helping mission. Tara was still gone.
Willow didn't know exactly why, but she'd had a half-hearted letter written in the flowery script of her now ex-girlfriend sitting on her side of the bed when she came home from the nightly Scooby gathering at the Magic Box. Oh, Tara had tried to explain, something about divided loyalties, it all being too much, and needing a break.
Although Willow wasn't sure whose loyalties had been divided. On one hand, she could see that Tara might still resent the amount of time Willow had been spending on her new project, along with time spent the Scooby meetings, but Tara had never complained in the past. In fact the redhead had always made sure her girlfriend was invited to all the research sessions and each of Willow's friends, with the exception of Anya, had tried their best to make the blonde feel comfortable.
Willow had thought the final meeting with Tara's family had erased most of the insecurities the blonde had about fitting in with the others. She really didn't think *that* was the problem. It must be all the time I've spent on the database project with Giles and Angel Investigations, but I honestly didn't think she minded, Willow thought miserably.
Of course it might not even be *my* loyalties that Tara was talking about, Willow thought, we had been drifting apart since Buffy's mom died. Those memories were still hard to take. Joyce had been more of a mother to Willow than her own mom had been in the past few years. Buffy really needed support and Tara *had* been through the same thing. It was natural for the empath in Tara to spend most of her time trying to heal the slayer right?
Willow's reasoning sounded hollow even to herself. Tara's note said that she wasn't leaving town, and it also had that kiss-of-death-let's-still-be-friends line that no one in their right mind believed anymore. Although, Willow hoped this case would be an exception. When it got right down to it, she and Tara had been on shaky ground from the very beginning. It took weeks for Willow to convince the blonde witch she wouldn't run after Oz.
Willow sighed again, I thought we were stronger than this, that a rough patch wouldn't end things. Willow's wallow was rudely interrupted by the phone ringing. Not wanting to move she let the machine pick up. Her and Tara's voices drifted through the noticibly half-empty apartment followed by the ever present beep.
Xander's voice floated over to her from the dusty machine, "Hey Scar'et, it's your buddy Q'siber. You're not fighting the bad guys without me, are ya? You'd better not be! Thanks for everything, Wills. I mean it. I'll tell Cordy hi for you. Although I get this feeling Buffy's trying to set me up with her, but you *know* that's over, right Wills? There's no way I'd do that to ya, besides my recent mistake makes it obvious Cordy isn't who I think about. Well, anyway, I gotta run before the operator asks for more change! Later Scar'et!"
Well, I'm glad he went along with the plan, but what was he thinking with that remark about Cordy. Tara could've heard it. Well, if she were here and still my girlfriend, she could've heard it, Willow grumbled silently.