Title: The Non-exchange( aka the only time Cordelia Chase stepped inside the Roadhouse)
Characters/Pairing: Cordelia, Dean, Sam, Ellen, Ash
Spoilers: AU S1 of Angel and set around "Everybody Loves A Clown" (Ep. 2.02)
Disclaimer: Not mine, because you honestly don't want to know what I'd do if they were.
It wasn't until Cordelia Chase stepped into a place called "The Roadhouse" that she truly realized that she was doing the Sunnydale thing all over again. Looking around at men who looked like they never even heard
of the word shower, much less razor, comb or clothes that had been made after 1995 (not that she would really think much better of them wearing clothes made as far back as '95 but at least she would have been able to manage to get through this experience without nightmares). Not to mention that she had to go to the middle of nowhere which meant that there weren't a hotel close by and that meant she would have to spend the night
in this godforsaken place.
Angel wasn't paying her enough for this. Though he was sparing his "baby" for her to drive up here. She briefly considered the idea of going and pulling a Buffy and ending up denting it (okay, wrecking the damn thing) but quickly dismissed the idea as she realized that the only thing that would really accomplish was an Angel who brooded even more.
"May I help you?" a voice asked, breaking into her thoughts. Cordelia turned to answered and noticed that the bartender was looking her over. Was she checking her out?
wasn't paying her enough for this.
She was about inform the woman what to do with her perverted fantasies when Cordelia noticed that the woman's hand was slowly pulling up a gun. Oh, she thought Cordelia was evil. That she could deal with. Still... "Do you think I really look like I would be stupid enough to come to this place if I was evil?" And Angel wasn't desperate
, she added mentally. The bartender seemed to mull this over for a brief second before placing the gun down, albeit close enough to have it up and fired at a moments notice.
Cordelia decided that she liked her despite her fashion choice.
Cordelia walked to the bar and sat down. "I'm looking for the owner, Ellen?"
"That would be me."
Cordelia smiled in relief that she may not have to actually talk to anyone else in this place. "Great. Angel sent me here. He said that I can find John Winchester."
Before Ellen could answer another voice said, "You won't be able to find him."And hello salty goodness.
The guy who answered was...well he was hot. Hot enough for Cordelia not to snap at him for intruding on her conversation as they sized each other up.
"Because he's dead." The matter fact way in which he said it piqued Cordelia's curiosity. She was about to ask when the tallest man alive came up next to him clasping a hand on his shoulder. Almost protectively. Or was it possessively? Just great. Her luck would have her stuck in a place where the only guys worthy of her time were into each other. She really needed to hone her gaydar.
"He died recently," Mountain Man said. He held out his hand "I'm Sam. What did you need my dad for?"
Cordelia shook his hand. "I'm sorry about your dad." And she was. She'd seen enough death to know how much it hurt. And none of those who died had even been particularity important to her. For his dad to have died, she couldn't imagine what he was going through. Both men nodded their head as if they were used to it. Cordy decided to get to business as she pulled out of her purse. "Um, I needed someone to look over these. My employer mentioned that there was something big going down involving some of these signs? Our resources couldn't come up with anything and Angel decided to call in a favor as a last resort."
"We'll look at it," the blond answered, giving her a charming smile. Cordelia raised an eyebrow as she thought that this one could be an actor. Sam shook his head as he reached for the paper. "Ignore my brother please."
Brother? Well that explained so much. Cordelia gave the blond brother a smile.
"Dean, Sam don't worry about it," Ellen said before yelling for somebody Ash. Ellen turned back to Cordelia. "If there's anyone who can help you, it'd be Ash."
Or at least it was until she saw Ash.
Her thoughts must have been written on her face because the next thing she knew, Sam was taking her papers to Ash for her, leaving her with Dean.
"Buy you a drink?"Dean asked.
"You want me to do what
with the 80s mullet redneck reject?"
"It's just one kiss."
"That I'd have to do. With my lips. In front of people." Cordelia's glare at both Sam and Ash spoke volumes of what she planned to do to every one of the body parts that they valued. Sam wisely chose to move behind Dean. Who was smirking. Damn him. Where was a vengeance demon when you needed one?
Angel could never pay her enough for this. Even if the vampire paid her with all the money he managed to make in his undead life (and she looked at his finances- it wasn't a lot).
Cordelia and Dean had been flirting when Sam came back saying that Ash had found the source of their apocalypse and even the way to stop it. But for the extra little tidbit she'd have to pay. She begrudgingly agreed, admiring that someone in this business had the sense to make money off of saving people's lives.
Except Ash didn't want money. And Cordelia would be damned before she let some geek in need of a comb live out his high school fantasy of kissing a popular girl with her.
Cordelia marched across the bar, her heels seeming to echo as she made her way to Ash. He shot her a cocky grin as he leaned back in his seat. Cordy just rolled out her eyes as she held out her hand.
"Well darlin' I seemed to remember something to trade for this."
"And I remember having pride." she shot back.
"All I want in exchange for this-" Ash didn't get to finish his statement as he made the mistake of holding up the papers Cordelia needed. Grabbing them quickly (while thanking reflexes honed through kickboxing and growing up in Sunnyhell), she turned around as if he never spoke sparing a small smile for Ellen and Dean as she decided to take her chances with the next hotel she came across, even if that meant she ended up back in L.A. before one came into sight.
Her smile gave way to a smirk as she heard Ellen's voice as she was leaving.
"Well damn, I think I like her."