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10 Men Cordelia Never Snarked At

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This story is No. 3 in the series "Nope, Never Gonna Happen.". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: She's Queen C, bitchiest girl to ever stalk the halls of Hellmouth High. It is her DUTY, nay, her PRIVILEGE to try and change the world one snarky comment at a time...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Cordelia-CenteredamusewithaviewFR13104,25815024,87013 Jun 0718 Jun 07Yes

Bill Weasley

I own naught, and this goes for the whole dang thing!

Crossing: Harry Potter, post Half-Blood Prince

Target: Bill Weasley and his Werewolf Woes


His jaw clenched, teeth grinding dangerously as he heard the sound of the door opening and closing. He did not turn to face her, instead continuing to stare at the stars and the crescent moon as if looking for answers.

Finally the silence became too much for him: "Did she send you out to try and make me feel better? To let me know that my little problem won't change anything?" His voice was a rasping snarl, sounding vicious and feral even to his own ears.

Cordelia shifted her weight, shivering under a cool breeze. These Wizards were such a life-and-death bunch, no perspective. She'd been trying to change that, since she was dumped here post-mortem, but it was difficult to alter an entire society's core structure.

Ah well, she was Queen C, bitchiest girl ever to stalk the halls of Hellmouth High. It was her duty, nay, her PRIVILEDGE to try and change the world one snarky comment at a time.

After an appropriate interval had passed, she answered his question solemnly:

"No, I'm not out here to tell you that your 'problem' won't change anything." She sighed before continuing, deadpan, "I'm out here to ask you to PLEASE, for the love of Merlin, CUT your damn hair!"


A/N: I'm not even gonna pretend that these are 100-words a pop.
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