A Time to Remember
BtVs by Whedon & M.E., The joke is adapted loosely from Beilenson's Little Black Book of Dirty Jokes.
Once upon a time, Little Red Riding Buffy was taking a basket of goodies across town to her sick Watcher. As she was leaving the house her mother gave her a kiss on the cheek and said: "Steer clear of the park today. There's a Big Bad out there who'll lick your nipples."
Humming merrily to herself, Little Red Riding Buffy went skipping through the park on her usual shortcut to her Watcher's apartment.
When she came to his door, he answered her knock, his happiness apparent despite the sniffles.
"Now be careful on your way back tonight," he said on receiving the basket. "There's a Big Bad in the park who'll fondle your knockers."
As the sun sank down, Little Red Riding Buffy slowly stepped into the park, moving her head to watch both sides of the path.
When out from behind a tree jumped the Big Bad, she greeted him with: "My, Mr. Big Bad, what big hands you have."
And then, before he could move: "My, Mr. Big Bad, what a big tongue you have."
"Girl," he snarled in a big bad voice. "You better take off your shirt 'cause I want to get at those breasts!"
"No," she said, hiking up her skirt. "You're going to eat me just like the story says."
"ANDREW, THAT IS NOT HOW I HAD SEX WITH SPIKE!"