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The O'Neill Twins

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Summary: Jack and his clone John soon share more than genetics, they're the same age! To top it off they eventually land in the Buffy universe on their own, with no way back.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > General > Characters: mini-JackNozomiFR1323,6695496,2965 Jul 0716 Aug 10No

What doesn't kill you...

Disclaimer: I do not own any Stargate or Buffy character. I am not making any money off of this. I am a pretty princess. Wait, all of the above is true except for the last one.

“This is all your fault!!” howled Jack and John, pointing at each other accusingly.

As they dove forward Thor said, more rushed than usual, “I will return you both to the SGC and contact you when we have come up with a solution.” The alien then touched a crystal on a control panel and the two fighting boys disappeared in a flash of white light.

Coincidentally SG-1 was talking with General Hammond when two rolling figures appeared in a flash of white light right on top of the conference table. Everyone at the table jumped up in surprise, while the two figures ignored everyone in their pursuit of beating the snot out the other.

Samantha Carter leaned forward with interest when she noticed why she seemed to have a problem seeing the face of one of the boys. She had seen it, the face was exactly identical to the other one. Identical twins, about five or six. Yet something else about the fight appeared to be strange.

What Sam hadn’t noticed yet was that these two cute looking six year olds were trying to beat the snot out of each other using black op. moves, and various wrestling and joint manipulations with limited success. First of all both Jack and John could predict the others action and the counter move. Second of all, six year olds aren’t really known for manual dexterity.

“What in the sam hill is going on?!” barked General Hammond in exasperation.

Like a splash of water in their faces, both boys immediately came to attention standing on top of the table. Everyone stared at the identical boys that seemed vaguely familiar. Daniel’s brow furrowed as he wondered if he’d seen them from somewhere before.

“Sorry sir,” Jack said.

“Didn’t notice you there.” John finished.

“Who are you? Why are you here?” General Hammond questioned, already frustrated with the whole situation. He didn’t know anyone other than Jack could annoy him so quickly.

“Jack/John O’Neill, sir.” both crisply responded together. Then the boy on the right kicked at the other in annoyance while the other one did the same.

General Hammond could feel a migraine coming on. “Excuse me? Stop that!”

Jack huffed in annoyance and folded his arms. John had started to do the same, but when he saw that Jack already had he quickly shoved his hands in his pockets.

Daniel broke in incredulously, “Are you saying one of you is Jack O’Neill and the other is Jack’s clone?”

“Hey,” protested John immediately “I’m not just a clone, I’m a person too you know! For crying out loud…”

“And what do you mean one of us? I’m Jack, obviously.” Jack chimed in also annoyed.

“Stupid space monkey.” both muttered simultaneously.

“Whoa.” Daniel breathed in amazement. Everyone in the room was hard pressed to tell which was Jack and which was John even after they had identified themselves. The way they spoke, moved, even their expressions were identical. Right now they were both wearing identically annoyed O’Neill expressions.

“How did this happen?” Sam questioned worriedly.

“Well, that damn Loki-” both boys started and stopped talking at the same moment. After a brief glare, John tilted his head slightly to acknowledge that Jack should speak first since he was the first to be involved. Jack gave a small nod in return and turned back toward his waiting team and General.

“Like I was saying, that damn Loki apparently left some kind of virus in me while he was tinkering with my genetics. It decided to kick in while I was out fishing at the lake. So Thor beamed me up because…hmmm, how the heck did he know what had happened?” Jack wondered in a perplexed tone.

“Stalker.” coughed John not so subtly. A few smiles were quickly hid by Sam and Daniel, while Teal’c raised an eyebrow in amusement. Hammond simply rubbed his aching forehead. This could take even longer than usual.


John silently ran full out down the empty corridor.

“Warning, I’m coming in hot, two tangos on my tail.”

“Rodger J2. Surprise is set, come back to base.”

“Nearly there J1.” John replaced his walkie talkie in his pants and grinned evilly as he heard the curses of the two scientists behind him getting closer. It was embarrassing that they hadn’t caught up to a small six year old.

Both Jack and John had a small war declared between them and the geeks on sub level six. Carter was exempt, but the rest were free game. The mini O’Neills had been confined to the base for a week before they snapped. While the two boys normally fought with each other like rabid squirrels, they had a temporary truce to unite against a greater enemy: The Scientists.

Those white coated evil beings subjected the two to many long, uncomfortable and worst of all, boring tests. While the egg heads knew it was unlikely they would be able to help the two, it was an interesting opportunity. Hammond relented partly because the scientist’s constant whining was annoying, and partly because it was one way to keep the O’Neills watched and occupied.

Spotting the subtle trap wet in the hallway John avoided it and ran around the corner to convene with Jack, code name J1 for the fact that he technically came first.

However, upon rounding the corner he spotted an uncomfortable looking soldier holding their goodie bag of tricks and standing over a scowling and pouting Jack. Trying to abruptly stop, John cursed his stubby legs as they tangled and sent him crashing on his face in front of the two standing in front of him.

Immediately, Jacks frown turned into a smirk as he looked down at John sprawled on the Floor in front of him. “Nice.”

“Are you alright…O’Neill?” the soldier asked after a brief hesitation. No one on base could tell which was Jack and which was John, either in behavior or looks. They were truly identical, and though both protested they were nothing alike, they didn’t war anything that would easily distinguish the two of them.

Just as the uncomfortable soldier was about to try and get the mini Colonels back to level ten they both disappeared in a flash of light.

Unfortunately John was in the middle of being helped up by the soldier and was off balance as the beamed onto Thor’s ship. Thus John fell face first on the floor for the second time that day.

Jack, the mature six year old that he was, pointed at John and snickered. John gave an annoyingly cute growl and kicked Jacks legs out from under him.

Both boys rolled to their feet and looked ready to start fight number six of the day. Thor hastily walked between them.

“Please O’Neills, I believe we have found a way to make you your original age.” Both turned twin gazes of intense interest on Thor, their fight quickly forgotten. Thor went on to explain a technology they were working on called a Time Dilation field that they were hoping to use on the Replicators. They wouldn’t even need to alert anyone because if it worked they would only be gone for a few minutes.

The catch was they had to live alone together for a few years and…

“WHaaat?! Whadaya mean we have to study?” Jack cried out in honest dismay. Though Jack was by no means stupid, he didn’t find joy in random studying like Daniel and Carter did.

“We need to see how thought process is affected through extended time in the dilation field.” Thor patiently explained. “You may pick what to study as we will be including two consoles with a vast amount of human and Asgard information.”

“Jeeze, why don’t you make us learn to play instruments too.” John said with a sneer. Jack nodded his head in agreement.

Thor paused and tilted he’s head thoughtfully. “That would be a useful measurement as well. Hmm, I think we’ll have to insist that you do that as well.”

Jack glared at John and smacked him on the back of his head. John didn’t dodge or retaliate because he felt he deserved that one.

“No way.”

“I’m afraid it will have to be on our terms or not at all.” Thor politely replied.

The three argued back and forth until an agreement was reached. A guitar and drum set would be made for them, an independent study program and hologram was set up, and a gym with equipment and weapons were made.

Libraries worth of information was put into the computers with a range of many kinds of information. Everything was prepared and ready to go, except for the two boys themselves.

They looked apprehensively at the doorway that would lead to the rooms that would be immersed in the time dilation field. Both trying to put up a brave front that wasn’t fooling the other they turned and gave a jaunty wave to Thor.

“See ya in ten years.” Jack said jauntily.

“Or ten seconds for you.” John added.

“Good luck O’Neills.” Thor said solemnly.

Taking a deep breath the two walked through the doorway, not looking back.

The End?

You have reached the end of "The O'Neill Twins" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 16 Aug 10.

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