Chapter 2: Pinch Me Part 1
Disclaimer: I own not the HP people nor the fates. And yes this IS a crossover between HP and BtVS, I know you all are wondering when you’ll see the action. Though you’ve been too kind to ask. But soon you will see how it all comes together (that is if the previous chapter didn’t explain it). The Lyrics and the Title belong to the Barenaked Ladies (I love them!)
Note (this note has a spoiler for those who read have yet book six and book five. So just move on to the story if you have yet to read either. Also if you have yet to read either, get a move on! Movie five is already out as is book seven. What are you waiting for the next Apocalypse? :-D): The whole event, if my hazy memory is correct, of the Marauders showing the world Sevvie’s grey undies bit and the four Headaches of Gryffindor (Well three really … okay ONE but still I’m sure the other three were SOOO into the planning) trying to feed the poor pasty to everyone’s favorite Wolfie has yet to happen.
I believe the former happened post OWLs and the latter sixth year. This is sometime very early fifth year. But NOT to worry. You will see Snape’s skivvies (skivvies is underwear right? And not naked behind, because if that’s the case no one wants to see that lest you’re Willow Rosenberg, or maybe Buffy Summers, or Neville Longbottom, there is a guesstimate that Phoebe Halliwell might go for a pale and white behind, possibly Voldemort too, some people figure Sirius would like to see it but not in THIS fic …)
Another note (I’m sorry but if you have yet to notice this I really like dem odd tangents. Bear with me :-) It won’t kill you. At least I hope not cause I need the reviews. It’s not like I get paid, and the whole karmic and soulful enjoyment thing lasts until the first word, so don’t die. First rule of slaying :-P): This is NOT a Lily and Sevvie fic. At least NOT in that way. Harry will NOT be Snapes son … well actually … (I’ll leave it at that for those who have yet to figure it out *innocent grin*). Nor is Sevvie evil. A git. Yes. If he wasn’t a git then he’d be Lupin … no actually he wouldn’t even be that good. And I will stop now lest my notes actually becomes longer than the story, let alone the chapter!
Pinch Me Pt 1Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door.
“Some times,” The brunette murmured as her long, thin fingers expertly weaved together the threads her sister Clotho had just spun. “All one needs is the right time, space, and just a bit of nudge in the right direction. ….”
A voice called out in the corridor.
Lily Evans did not have to turn around to know exactly who was tailing her steps. Likely he was being tagged by the other three of his cronies and the last thing she needed right now was to see Sirius Black’s encouraging smile or listen to Pete Pettigrew’s grating squeaky undertone waxing poetics about how great Potter’s eyebrows were or something. All the while said Potter tried to grovel for forgiveness about some ridiculous bit or the other. She wasn’t in the mood to be unstinting to the git. Not that she didn’t like James in her own fashion. She supposed he WAS a rather nice person when he wasn’t being cocky, cruel, and/or crude. After all, he only was a fifteen-year-old boy. However, she felt that he needed to sweat a bit after what he had done this week. Exactly what he had done this week she didn’t remember but she was sure it was something bad. Not that it mattered either way. She just wasn’t in the mood to put up with him. Moreover, watching him squirm was actually a bit of fun. Not that it truly did any damage; he had that over-blown ego to fall back just nicely on. One of these days, it was going to get him killed, Lily thought in annoyance and disgust. Well, at least it would rid her of him … No, that thought was a bit mean even for her. Still, there was denying that James Potter was destined for more trouble than he could handle.
“Now, Lily.” It was Black. He had just reached up to her and had grabbed onto her arm to stop her. Black was forever trying to manhandle her. Not intentionally or anything but he had the most annoying habit of physically stopping her whenever he or James tried to get her attention. As if he couldn’t imagine the fact that she was, oh, IGNORING him. On the other hand, perhaps he liked to believe that she would melt into a puddle whenever he touched her like the other twittering fools between the ages of nine and sixteen. Sadly, for her, though Sirius Black like many boys his age described a light touch by trying to yank her arm out of the socket. The way an officer might grab onto particularly choice criminal. In addition, she suspected it had to do with the fact that Black saw her as one of them, as a distant and not at all participatory part of his little Mauraders group. Lily wasn’t quite sure if she should be insulted or relieved. She was going with relieved since he didn’t flirt with her (more than he usually flirted with anything and everyone). She was also going on slightly in pain because he was holding on rather hard another reason to think that all teenage boys were barbaric animals. The Mauraders (minus Lupin, of course) were even more than usual. She couldn’t wait to meet the women that would put the four of them in their respective places.
“Didn’t you hear that James was calling you? Play nice and listen to what to the ole chap has t’say.”
Play nice?, Lily thought becoming more irritated by the minute, the fool wanted her to play NICE? She thought she was being nicer than any of them deserved. After all, she wasn’t manhandling anyone. Nor had she had given them a cutting letdown. Yet.
Slowly looking at the limpet named Black up and down, one dark red brow slowly rose up as a decidedly sweet smile curved her lips just as slowly. “Now why would I want to listen to anything James has to say when I have you, paragon of womanly wants, right here … touching me.” She purred, and then gave a decidedly pointed look at his hand on her arm. “Ooo, Sirius! When you touch me, how it BRUISES my ‘ice queen exterior’” She sneered slightly, throwing words he had used about her just last week. Lily took particular pleasure as the dark haired boy blinked in shock over her tone before turning a decidedly red color. Not many people could make Black blush, Lily was sure it was something she could put under her greatest achievements. Besides ‘Top Student of Her Year’ and ‘Best Female Duelist of the Year’. “Forget James, especially when you’re manly … paws are on me. You make me all tingly.” She fluttered her lashes at the confused boy, before saying in deadpan. “Seriously, I am getting strange sensations on my arm, any tighter it’ll numb and fall off.”
“I think Lily wants you to let go of her, Padfoot.”
Remus Lupin said softly in barely hidden amusement.
Sirius blinked for a few more seconds an action that caused Lily to roll her eyes before dropping her as if she burned him. His face reddening as a decidedly sheepish expression came over his features, “Why didn’t she just say so?”
Lily just gave him a droll look.
“I think she was trying to, moron.” James shot his best friend a glare before walking over to Lily and putting his hands on both of her arms and checking for injury. He reveled in the fact he was actually this close, touching her, and she had yet to smack him.
“James Henry Potter, if your hand accidentally brushes against the side of my breast just one more time I will use this most amusing little hex that I read about. It involves boils in a more than less impressive part of your person.”
“It is TOO impressive!” James exclaimed protest and indignation coloring his tone.
Then it slowly dawned upon him what he just said. It helped that Lily’s brow had hiked slightly higher and his friends were snickering rather loudly in the background. “I mean, uhh what I mean is that I’ve been told that it’s im- … No!” He yelled again. “That’s not what I mean. What I did mean was that, okay … you see … it’s impressive and that’s all you need to know.” He finished with a sniff.
Lily answered primly.
“And what ‘IT’ are you talking about James Henry Potter?
Because I was talking about your tongue.”
James asked lamely.
“Why yes. You find yourself witty and humorous and think that you come up with the most ingenious sayings and jokes. When frankly? … You don’t.”
“My tongue?” His voice was low and his expression both embarrassed and confused.
As if he was trying to figure out how he had gotten himself in this position.
Really, silly boy. She had just told him. It was his tongue.
“Mhmm.” Lily replied again, picture of perfect innocence. Her ethereal, bright green eyes had slowly rounded in the way one of perfect purity and good and clean thoughts tended to when they discovered that their nice little world was about to be sullied. It was a sad thing that James was falling for said look and had yet to realize that lurking directly under the innocence was an impish little sassy devil. “What did YOU mean by ‘It’?”
“Surely you meant something James.” Innocence still very apparent.
“No.” He protested uncomfortably.
“Are you positive?”
“No. I mean, yes.”
“Apparently you are not. Let me know when you discover what you do mean. Til then, Jamie, leave me be.” And with that Lily turned on her heels and flounced, yes she believed that it was a flouncing moment, towards the Potions classroom.
“What just happened?”
James who was staring at the back of the retreating Lily Evans was still trying to figure that out.
“It beats me.”
Sirius shrugged, a small frown on his face.
It was only Remus who understood and it was all that the poor quiet boy could do not to burst out laughing.
James had found someone that wouldn’t let him run the world ragged. Though he doubted that it would be news that either of them would want to hear but Remus knew in his heart that Lily Evans’ was his best friend’s lifemate. Which was excellent in his opinion, he didn’t know of any other female in their acquaintance that would be able to put the hellion in James in its place nor do it as impishly clever as Lily could. They were perfect for each other in every way. Lily just had to realize that there was more to the troublemaker and James had to realize that he wanted Lily for Lily not just because she was something that he couldn’t have.
They were both lucky to have found each other at such a young age and Remus hoped that they realized it soon, and accepted each other without reservations. Not many people recieved the opportunity to ever find their one and only. Moreover, others-the young werewolf thought with a frown-would never be able to tell their one and only.
With a sigh, Remus followed a few steps behind his friends as they had decided to head back to the Gryffindor common room.
Only time would tell. For both Lily and James, and himself and his surly (not quite) other.
Lily was in a decidedly better mood now than she had previously been twenty minutes ago. It was petty but getting the best of people always brightened her day. In fact, she didn’t mind so much that Slughorn had seen it within his privileges of his teaching duties to make himself a bloody and utter nuisance. To say she was mystified about why he had asked her to aide another student in making a certain potion for him was an understatement.
Why ask her?
Yes, she was in his Slug Club. Yes, she was his best potions student in said club (Lily Evans didn’t believe in modesty and being humble when it was glaring truth. It only wasted time and made simpering fools out of those attempting modesty. Case in point, Professor Slughorn). However, QUITE a few other students bested her in the art of potion making. Take for example Severus Snape and Franklin Longbottom. She was sure that they would become potion masters when they grew older, they were truly better than Slughorn! Perhaps that’s where the reason the good professor choosing her lied. She may sass him and give him a run for his money in the field but she knew that she would never surpass him. Lily just didn’t have the heart or passion for potions, not like she did for charms. Snape and Longbottom on the other hand? They lived and breathed potions; it wasn’t just a subject for them or a way to make money. It was life. Lily had no doubt that quite embarrassed the good professor. It also did not help that Snape was forever proving him wrong and that Longbottom was a Hufflepuff. Lily let out a derisive snort as she quickly approached the classroom. Not because Longbottom was Huffle, he was a decent sort Longbottom and rather cute now that he had rid himself of his baby fat and humongous front teeth. No, Lily was snorting over the slimy snail that was Slughorn, she may be respectful in her sassing but that was simply because he was a professor. She didn’t like him, trust him, or particularly respect him as a human being. Apparently, this “important potion of DIRE emergency” wasn’t all so important if Slughorn couldn’t swallow his pride and ask the only two people possibly in the wizarding world if not just in Hogwarts that could make the best of it.
Pushing the door to the potions room open Lily Evans came up short to the sight in front of her.
She was big talk about others admitting when they were wrong but when it came to herself, swallowing her own pride was like swallowing a jagged little pill dry. She hated admitting she was wrong. Even if it was just to herself.
“Miss. Evans, ahh yes, good of you to finally join us. Please to come in.”
Slughorn said with a smarmy little smile.
Lily was forced to wonder if the man was a mind reader.
However, she still did not move from the doorway.
“Perhaps Miss Evans doesn’t think she’s fit to help us.”
A low voice sneered. “Or is it that we’re unfit to help her.”
The quiet glare was what snapped Lily out of her rapid thoughts of the Professor knowing Occulmens.
“Now, Mister Snape do not say such things.” Slughorn admonished lightly, an unpleased frown etched on his face. It was as if the man had been expecting them to all embrace over their love of crushing Hippogriff talons.
“Especially when they’re quite ridiculous.” Lily tried not to snap at the disdain in his features.
Lily Evans had promised herself from first year to be always polite to Severus Snape no matter how annoyed she was with him. She knew that deep down inside he was the decent sort, after all only the decent sort would help her up after she’d been pushed down by Slytherins her first year. However, it irritated her that he couldn’t in turn give her the same respect. It also irritated that he acted like hated her just because she was muggleborn, when she knew if it wasn’t for that that they might actually have been friends. She caught him looking at her at times during lunch or in the library with a curious or wistful expression. Whenever their eyes would meet for a moment, he would look like such a lost little boy before the shutters would fall and he would glare at her, as if it were HER fault that she had caught him at a moment when he decided to act like a human with emotions. Yes, it was mean but sometimes it was all she could do not to pummel Severus Snape. It was one of the many reasons she stood up for him against James and the others, because sometimes she felt like a lost little girl and she understood being in uncertain surroundings. She knew he knew that she understood; the stubborn git. Lily was sure that she would understand many things about him if he just let her, stupid arsehole. She really should knock him over with her History of Magic text. “I was just thinking that you and Longbottom would be far more suited in whatever task the good professor would have me do. I would be honoured to work with the both of you.”
Lily smiled slightly at the blush that grew over Longbottom’s face; he really was such a sweet boy. However, by turning her attention to the awkward brunette she missed the shrewd look glittering black eyes were giving her.
‘Good professor’ indeed, Snape could not help but think. It was hardly noticeable but he had heard the slight hint of derisive in Evan’s voice when she had said it. Interesting …
“Good, good!” Slughorn exclaimed with a bright smile, patting his rotund belly in a gesture of one that was quite pleased with himself and the situation.
“Um, w-what’s good professor?” Frank asked slowly when the older man didn’t burst into his usual habit of explaining things. The professor just seemed to be lost in his thoughts.
Both Lily and Severus caught the expression of amused curiosity that flitted across the usually shy Hufflepuff’s face. Snape listed it under ‘Interesting’ just as he did with Evan’s tone. Lily thought the boy was just setting himself up for disappointment; Slughorn was probably just thinking about a way to regal them with some genius of his.
She would not have at all surprised if he was calling them simply to make a pepper-up potion for some famous former student of his.
“That you’re all here of course!” Slughorn’s smile widened causing his strawberry-blond peppered with gray mustache to twitch in the manner of an angry caterpillar.
Snape scoffed in annoyance; simpleton fool that man was. For Lily it was all she could do not to roll her eyes, she did have papers to do after all. Yes, they would all be ahead of time but that really wasn’t the point at all.
Franklin merely gave the good professor an encouraging smile.
“I have asked the three of you here this afternoon to create a potion for a friend of mine-”
This was it, Lily thought, the Minster of Magic wanted medicine for his pet Chihuahua.
“a rather renowned Seer, Cheyra Damsor.”
“What kind of potion?” Severus bit out when the man seemed to be woolgathering.
He really didn’t have time for this, he had just been in the middle of ‘The 999,864 Ways a Rose By a Different Name Could Cost You Your Feet’, it was an interesting tome that warned against substituting certain herbs in potions. He found it both relaxing and educational and surely a better waste of his time than this.
“To help with her visions of course!”
He blinked his eyes slowly as if the answer should have obvious to his students.
“Yes,” Severus snorted softly. “of course.” For a moment he wondered if it should have been obvious.
“You should know from your History of Magic lessons with professor Binns that there are many different types of seers and how they their visions are also different. There are auracognetic seers, psychometric seers, and astral-sensory seers. Prophetic Seers like the great Morticia Trelawney, cousin to the famous Cassandra Trelawney. Also one of the founders of our school, Helga Hufflepuff who only receive world-changing visions no more than five times during living. My dear Miss Damsor is one of the few lucky witches that are selected by the Powers to receive visions; she gets hers to aide a Champion in Egypt. However, these visions have been giving her agonizing headaches that are slowly killing her. It is up to us to find a successful potion to stave the process.”
Lily burst out.
She blinked when they all turned to look at her. Had she said that outloud?
Severus sneered. “We. Need. To. Make. One.”
He spoke slowly as if speaking to a difficult pymypuff.
Lily didn’t even bother to glare at him. Damn it!
Again, once again she had been wrong about Slughorn.
TWICE in one day. It was strange. She was sure that he was the same pompous, overreaching greedy old man … but it was as if he had a heart.
Great, next she would find out that James Potter wasn’t an over-bloated prat and that Sirius Black wasn’t an all around berk.
It made her think of something Professor Dumbledore said to her once on her first day of school. Nothing and noone were as they seemed.
Right. She didn’t think she was narrow-minded or anything, truth was that she was one of the most open people out there. Everyone said so, even Petunia. Nevertheless, the fact of the matter was that she had always believed she was good at reading people; great even.
Perhaps though … not so good. Maybe, she wouldn’t sass Slughorn as much. And just MAYBE she would go to Hogsmeade with James next weekend.
“B-but w-why us, Professor?” Franklin frowned slightly, brushing floppy sandy brown hair out of his eyes. “S-surely there are m-more, uh, e-experienced p-people t-to d-d-do ttthhhe j-job.”
“Peh!” Slughorn exclaimed with an irritated wave of his hand. “Those Ministry officials are nothing but incompetent half-wits. You three have a passion for the art of potions making, and with Lily here, with this bright girl I am sure that you’ll come up with something magnificent.”
“Yes.” Came the dry reply from the younger Slytherin as he watched Lily’s pale skin flush and the girl roll her eyes. “I’m sure we will.” He said sourly.
Frank’s lips twitched for a moment as he regarded the bitter sounding boy before asking, “H-h ow long do we have?”
“One month. Her only other option is to take in the essence of a creature and become part of it. Her options are goblin, demon, or a demiguse. None of which are at all appealing.
Such a potion has never been done before.” The professor said, his tone becoming firm and serious. “She is not expecting success so there truly is no pressure. But if you are were to create one it could mean many things for the three of you, including a Seer in your debts. You may begin.” He said a slight smile returning to his face. “I will leave the three of you discuss the situation and get to know each other better.”
Black eyes followed the retreat of the professor filled with annoyance and bitter hopelessness at the situation. He did not play ‘getting to know you’ with anyone. Not even with his fellow Slytherins. Definitely not with his fellow Slytherins. With them it was ‘you’re the one I should be aligning with myself for the moment, let me know how powerful you are and that’ll be it’. There was no ridiculous, childish questions or ‘friendships’-if one must call them that-made out of favorite colors and commonalities. It was about power and strength and cunning. That was all he knew and it would be all he needed to know.
But apparently not.
Severus had survived this long in Slytherin relatively friendless because he was a smart boy. A very smart boy. Therefore, as a smart boy he knew that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and that only an idiot would not take hold of it with both hands. Only an idiot or one with endless opportunities for the foreseeable the future. Seeing as he was neither he would have to learn to be passably amiable to the other two he was working with. He would have to play … nice to a mudblood and a Hufflepuff blood traitor. Sweet Salazar just let something fall from the sky and kill him now because if it didn’t he would meet a worse fate in the hands of Bellatrix or Lucius if they ever found out.
Unless of course he could convince them that he didn’t want to be kind to those two and explain the benefits of the situation. Bellatrix might be difficult, five years and he still couldn’t comprehend how the mad woman thought-but Lucius would understand. There wasn’t a thing the older Slytherin wouldn’t do for power. In fact Severus could see Lucius encouraging him to be friendly to Longbottom and Evans because it would more than likely have its benefits. In spite of this, he drew the line between tolerating, even possibly kind, and friendly.
He hated Evans. She was such a little know-it-all and she was forever trying to be nice to him and when he was rude back she would turn very mouthy with him. She was hot and cold all at once it was enough to give a male an eternal migraine. If she hadn’t been a muggleborn he was sure she’d have been Slytherin. Longbottom, while he may not hate, was far worse than Evans. He was deliberately mean to the imbecile and the silly boy would just smile at him. Smile! It wasn’t a condescending smile or a sneering one or even a mocking, sarcastic one. It was down-right friendly, and a bit thoughtful (not that he inspected Longbottom’s smiles or anything). It was utterly disgusting.
Severus never could figure who he despised more. Potter and Black or Evans, Longbottom, and Lupin. Deliberate meanness or sweet intentions. He supposed the latter three because at least with the first two he knew when they would strike and he would be prepared for it. With Evans, Longbottom, and Lupin he was waiting for the other shoes to fall. That or smack him across the head.
“Y-you know, Severus, you can stop glaring at me. I’m not going anywhere.” The deep tenor was filled with soft amusement.
He didn’t know whether to sneer, glare, or snap at the older boy. So he did all three. “I don’t recall giving you the right to use my Christian name!”
“Oh, really Severus.” Came that irritating know-it-all tone. “Slug,erm the professor said that we shouls get to know each other and I quite agree with him. This endeavour will be easier to take on if we don’t have to worry about stiff and ridiculous formalities. I’m Lily, he’s Franklin, and you’re Severus. Get over it.”
Black eyes glittered in annoyance before he whispered in deadly softness, “Fine then, Lily. Shall I hold your hand, while Franky braids your hair and we share our secrets?”
Franklin bit back a snicker as a slow smile started on Lily’s mouth before she said,
“I despise blood-puddings, have read my sister’s diary plenty of times, and am afraid of snakes. However, I find myself partial to the ones with dark eyes and sharp tongues.”
The reply was steady and said with a cool brow raised, daring him to comment.
He didn’t trust himself to so he didn’t.
“I-I rather you not c-call me F-Franky but F-Frank is ffine.”
Long, Frank supplied with a wide grin.
Severus felt the over-whelming urge to barf when Ev-Lily grinned back.
Forget Bellatrix killing him. He would bet his potion set that by the middle next week he would apply the killing curse on himself.
It would be in the best interest of everyone.