Spoilers: Buffy: post Chosen Firefly: Post BDM
Disclaimer: Joss owns everything I own nothing (really I'm a student with a crummy job)
AN: This was an idea that I've had for a while but I don't think my voices are quite right. Constructive criticism and suggestions would be appreciated.
"So ya think ya got better injury stories then me little girl?" Mal asked his newest passenger, a petite blonde with a funny way of talking.
"Yup, wanna compare?"
"Shiny, I've been knocked out by a drugged up kiss by someone who tricked me into marrying her."
"I was hit by a hallucination causing spike thing-y sent by three geeks from my old high school claiming to be my arch-nemeses."
"Hmm had a dagger thrown right into my shoulder."
"Wooden stake shoved in my stomach."
"Nope, random attack. Your turn."
"Been stabbed couple times in my side with swords," Mal states while rubbing the spots the operative and Atherton stabbed at him.
"I've had teeth puncture my neck right in the jugular twice," Buffy responded while showing Mal her bite scars, "Also I should point out I've been stabbed with a sword in the side once too. Kinda stings huh?"
"That it does. But I got ambushed lil' while back and got shot in the gut and that's a mite more painful."
"I wouldn't know about that exactly but I was shot in the chest by one of those high school nerds once. Don't really remember what it felt like, I think I was in shock."
"Did he have good cause fer shootin' on ya."
"He thought he could gain a reputation by killing me. Did your shooter 'have good cause'?"
"Just criminal folk tryin' to steal my boat, but this other son of a bitch tortured me with electrodes fer what seemed an eternity cos I didn't finish a job fer him."
"And why didn't you finish the job?" Buffy asked Mal with a teasing smile. Mal eyes focused on hers and he replied to her in a serious tone.
"Won't steal medicine from those who can't get more. Your turn."
"The man I consider the closest thing to a father like person secretly drugged me so I preform some rite of passage that coulda killed me just cause it was tradition," Buffy dead-panned.
"I don't hear an injury in that story," Mal said with a chuckle a friendly mood returning.
"Sorry I thought we were comparing the bad motivations people had for doing crappy things to us, but you try being secretly put on muscle relaxers and hormone suppressor stuff and then told to go hunt, and see if you don't get injured."
"Hey now calm yer self down ya can take that one. It don't matter none cos I got the winner," Mal leaned back and smirked. "I done died."
"I've died three times," replied Buffy evenly before breaking out into a smirk of her own.
"Three times?" questioned Mal while staring into space.
"I win," Buffy whispered as she walks away smiling leaving Mal still slightly shocked by her revelation.