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5 Gods Who Never Needed A Key

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This story is No. 6 in the series "Nope, Never Gonna Happen.". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Glory needed to go home, but what about some other (semi) omnipotent beings who for whatever reason might need a glowing ball of green energy or a mouthy brunette with powerful potential? (Now with bonus ARES chapter!)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Dawn-Centered > Ficlet CollectionsamusewithaviewFR1363,95904819,29818 Jul 079 Oct 07Yes

Dawn and Daniel in a Diner

Crossing: SG1

For: littleoldme

God / Goddess: Ascended Daniel (2nd Time Around)


Daniel eyed the waitress askance when she slipped into the seat across from him. He was not in the mood for a conversation, not right now, especially not after what Oma had just told him.

"You're planning on going back, right?"


She frowned at him, blue eyes serious, "You are Daniel, aren't you?"

"Yes, how do you know?"

She shrugged dismissively, "It's not like we get a lot of new people around here. You want to go back, right?"

"Yes," he leaned forward, "Who are you exactly?" She looked to be about fourteen, maybe fifteen, and her nametag read 'None of your business.'

"My name is Dawn, if you plan to go back I have a request."

"Oma says I can't go back."

She scowled at him, "Are your friends in danger?"


"Have you died and come back before?"

"Yes, but what - "

She flapped a hand at him, "Then you'll find a way back. Now look, all I'm asking is for you to pass on one teeny-tiny little message and maybe - " A curious look entered her sharp blue eyes. "Stand up."

Daniel was startled, "What?" But she was already on her feet and yanking him to his, turning him around and inspecting him from head-to-toe. Finished, she shoved him unceremoniously back down and plopped back into her former position, this time a cat-with-canary grin was plastered across her puckish features.

"You're perfect, oh she is SO gonna owe me big!"

"What are you talking about?!"

"Nothing, nothing..." She chortled, eyes alight with mirth, "Oh this is gonna be so good! Anyways, when you get back to earth I want you to deliver a message for me, mkay?"

"Look, I don't know what's going on - "

"Of course you don't, you're not allowed to yet, you've only just ascended after all. You don't get any of the real perks until you've been here long enough for all your friends and family on earth to die. They think it alleviates the temptation to do extra good." She gave him a speculative look, "They must really want you bad if they're trying to speed up the process with that whole plague-thing."

"You know about that? Look, you've got to help me - "

"I can't, not really." Her eyes were sad, "I can't go back the way you can, I'm not allowed to. But you can help me, you will won't you?"

Daniel sighed, this girl was really truly strange but maybe if he agreed to help she'd leave him alone. "Of course."

She beamed, "I knew you would! Ok, when you get back to earth I want you to find Buffy Summers, you got that? Buffy Summers. That's B-U-F-F-Y and then the usual spelling for 'summers.'"

"Why do you want me to find this person?"

"She's my sister, I want you to tell her - tell her that it wasn't her fault, that it was my time."

"Your time? You look like a teenager, how could it be your time to die?"

"Cancer," Dawn said shortly, "Look, just give her the message, and then maybe take her out on a date or something, you know, cheer her up?"

"You want me to - no, no way!" He frowned, "Besides last time I came back from this, I couldn't remember anything, what makes you think I'll still know to do you this favor?"

She leaned across the table and kissed him gently on the forehead, white light flashed at the point of contact and Daniel felt a migraine bloom like some sort of awful flower just between his temples.

"I thought you said there were no perks until all your family died?"

She smirked as she stood up, lugging her tray with her, "I said that, didn't I? Yeah, that rule only applies to humans. Toodles!" She walked away rapidly, singing under her breath something that sounded an awful lot like, "He's gonna be my brother-in-law, he's gonna be my brother-in-law, and won't Buffy be surprised!"

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