The Second Seattle Slayers Annual Camp-out.
A Seattle Slayer’s story by Dave Turner.
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or anything else, now that’s really very sad. I write this for fun not profit.
Crossover: ‘Call of Cthulhu’ RPG and Stargate SG1
Timeline: Set some months after ‘All the Presidents Slayers’ for the Seattle Slayers. Some odd time when nothing else is happening for SG1 (About Season 10 and I’ve ignored the Ori), and any time for Great Cthulhu, who is after all…timeless.
Spelling and Grammar: Written in glorious English-English. American idioms are used wherever possible, spelling and grammar is English.
Words: Numberless like the stars in the sky!
Warnings: Death, violence, bad language, sexual innuendo and anything else I can think of so watch out!
Summary: The Seattle Slayer’s holiday is interrupted by an evil older than time itself!
Dedicated to the memory of Major Rupert Carter-Brown DSO, CDM, MC and bar (mine’s a large one!), who was my alter-ego when playing ‘Call of Cthulhu’. Armed only with a good right hook and a sawn-off shotgun (and on one occasion an aeroplane and some chlorine gas) punched and blasted his way through countless adventures. No matter what the Elder Gods threw at him he just became saner and saner. Due in no small measure to his belief that no matter how terrible a monster might be, it was actually just a “Damn Boche in a rubber suit!”
Authors Note: Deities and other mythological characters from previous Seattle Slayers stories will appear in later chapters. This should not spoil your reading pleasure if you’ve not read any of the earlier stories.
The Second Seattle Slayers Annual Camp-out.
By Dave Turner.
Hark! The Nameless cultists sing,
“Glory to our dreaming King.”
Deep beneath the ocean waves,
Dreaming in his wat’ry grave.
Soon the stars will all be right,
Usher in eternal night.
When Cthulhu comes to reign,
Things here ‘bouts won’t be the same.
Hark! The nameless cultists sing,
“Glory to our dreaming King.”
Lyrics: J Westbrooks.
Tune: “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.”
Willow stood by the open door of the SUV and wondered at the changes that had occurred since the last time that they had done something like this. For a start Kennedy was pregnant; Phasered and raped by a Klingon facsimile of Captain Kirk that turned to dust when the spell the Klingons had used was broken.
Then there was Tammy who had spent nearly five years fending for herself as the ‘Creatures of the Night’ tried to kill her. She had not even known that she was a Slayer until she sensed Kennedy and one of the girls on patrol one night. She had followed them back to the YSWA (Young Slayers Wicca Association) House and finally ‘came in from the cold’.
Next there was Alice; a young Slayer who had been a child prostitute. Her first action on becoming ‘chosen’ was to beat her pimp to death with her bare hands. She was now in a stable relationship with Tina, one of their older girls, and was making good progress at school after she had been moved to an all girls school. Nobody ever mentioned the unfortunate incident with the Football team at her previous school any more.
Willow sighed contentedly as she watched the girls pack the last few items for their vacation. Willow had rented a ‘log cabin’ on the north shore of Lake Quinault in Olympic National Park for ten days. Unlike the last time the Seattle Slayers went on a camp out, all the girls were going, Buffy had kindly sent two Slayers to look after the YSWA House and keep the Vampires in order.
The two girls, twins Charleen and Doreen from Australia, seemed very nice girls and very efficient. Monica, an YSWA ‘old girl’ who was studying at Washington State University would also be available to wield a stake as and when needed.
Actually moving one witch, one pregnant Slayer, five young slayers, a very large black and white cat (by the name of Sylvester) Tara who was now nearly three and Rupert the Bearbot. Would have tested the planers of the Normandy Landings, then there were the clothes, weapons, food and anything else that seven adults one large cat, a child and a Bearbot might need for a ten-day vacation.
It had been decided that Rupert would travel strapped to the back of Tammy’s motorbike. Sylvester would travel in the YSWA’s Mini-Cooper with Tina and Alice. While everyone else would have to be fitted into the SUV. Any spare space would be taken up with supplies, clothes and weapons.
Even on vacation a Slayer needed to go fully armed, especially after what had happened on the First Annual Seattle Slayers Camp-out. Willow was really hoping that this time nothing serious was going to occur. She just wanted a few quiet days with Ken, Tara and the girls, and not have to worry about fighting the forces of evil for a while.
Willow looked at her watch and smiled, it was nearly nine o’clock. Telling everybody that she wanted to be on her way by eight had worked a treat. True everything was organised chaos just now, but they would be on the road slightly after nine, which was when Willow had planned to be on their way.
She turned to see Kennedy walk out of the house and into the driveway. She might be six months pregnant (or as near as they could work out) but she was still Seattle’s Senior Slayer and as such she intended to make sure that nothing was left behind.
“Have we got enough cartridges for the pistols?” She asked Shannon as the girl brought out another box of groceries. “Did someone pack my shotgun and Katana?”
“What!” Exclaimed Willow as she walked over to Kennedy, “What are you going to need those for?”
“You never know,” Replied Kennedy, “Just look what happened last time we went on vacation with the girls.”
Willow went over and linked her arm through Kennedy’s.
“Ken,” She said, “You’re pregnant now; you’re in no condition to go chasing after demons and vampires.”
“Yeah I know,” Kennedy replied quietly as she placed her hand on top of Willow’s, “But it just doesn’t feel right to go anywhere without them…you know?”
“Yeah I know.” Agreed Willow reluctantly.
Just then Tara ran out of the house and wrapped herself around Willow’s legs, she looked up at her mom and smiled, she was very excited as this would be the first proper vacation she had ever been on. Willow mentally checked that she had packed her camera; she bent down and picked up her daughter.
“Are you ready?” She asked.
Tara nodded her head vigorously.
“Okay!” Called Willow, “If it’s not packed now you’ll have to manage without it!”
There was some last minute squeals and rushing about as Slayers made for their assigned seats. Willow passed Tara over to Kennedy.
“Can you manage?” She asked.
“Will,” Announced Ken, “One of the good things about being a Slayer is the super-strength you know?”
“Yeah-yeah I know.” Admitted Willow, “Sometimes I over react…”
“Yes I know, and I love you for it.” Kennedy kissed Willow before getting into the SUV.
Willow walked over to the opened driver’s door and put one foot on the door sill, she turned and waved to Charleen and Doreen who were standing at the front door to see them off. Willow smiled to herself.
“Ladies!” She called, “Start your motors!” She climbed into the SUV as the engines of the three vehicles burst into life.
Settling herself into the driver’s seat and fastening her seat belt Willow looked around to check her passengers.
“Everybody okay?” She asked; there were answering nods and affirmations, “Right then…Wagons…roooooll!”
Major General Jack O’Neill USAF, Retired, slid open the French Windows (or was that Freedom Windows nowadays?) and stepped out onto the decking at the rear of the cabin. He threw his arms wide and took in great lung-fulls of fresh air as he looked across the lake in the early morning sunshine.
“Great!” He said to himself, this was the life.
No aliens attacking the planet, no politicians trying to use the Stargate for their own petty purposes; and most importantly no paperwork. He walked across the deck towards the water’s edge; he got down and on his hands and knees and put his hand into the water.
“Christ that’s cold!” He exclaimed and put any ideas about going for a swim most definitely on the back burner, maybe later.
No today he would relax and do some fishing, he had rented the cabin for two weeks there would be plenty of time for such energetic activities like swimming. Jack stood up and sighed with satisfaction; yes this was the life, nothing to do and all day to do it in. His revelry was interrupted by a female voice from the direction of the cabin.
“YO!” He answered turning away from the lake.
“Okay Sam.” Jack called and walked back to the cabin.
Willow led her little convoy out of the University district towards Edwards where they crossed The Sound on a ferry. Once in Kingston they picked up Highway 104 and followed it until they hit Highway 101 and turned north. They would be going the ‘scenic route’ to Lake Quinault. Actually there was not any other way to get there, well none that she could find.
Willow expected they would arrive at the lake in the late afternoon, if she had wanted to she could have made it to their destination in two or three hours. But there would have to be ‘Restroom’ breaks, food breaks and ‘just walking about’ breaks. Anyone who thought that a pack of teenage Slayers could sit in a car for three or four hours without going stir-crazy would be sadly mistaken.
Anyway it was such nice country, Jaun de Fuce Strait on one side and the National Park and Mount Olympic on the other it was so pretty. They made their first major stop at Port Angeles where they had a late morning snack and a walk, by the time they got back to the vehicles it was nearly lunchtime so they had lunch in a restaurant in town.
Tammy joined the end of the Slayer Convoy as they left Port Angeles, this was so frustrating. Puttering along at a mind numbing fifty-five miles an hour she would be mad long before they got to their destination. As they got to a long empty straight stretch of highway she grinned to herself. Tammy ‘dropped a cog’ and twisted the throttle wide open and shot off down the road leaving the other Slayers in the dust.
This was the life Tammy thought and changed gear again, the wind in her hair (well helmet really, but what the heck!) the countryside flashing by, the Bearbot on the pillion seat moaning in terror and trying to cover his eyes with his paws. This was great. She came round a long sweeping bend to see half a dozen bikes on the road in front of her. She swung out onto the opposite side of the road and accelerated passed them.
It took her Slayer senses a few minutes to register that she was being followed, she glanced in her mirror to see the six bikes she had just passed, about a hundred yards behind her and closing steadily.
“So you want to race?” Tammy said to herself, Rupert wailed in despair.
Tammy slowed a little to let the bikes and their riders catch up, then just when they were within twenty or so yards of her she accelerated again leaving them in a cloud of dust and exhaust fumes. Tammy laughed out loud as she left her pursuers in the distance, once again it took her a little time to realise that they were gaining on her, slowly but steadily.
“Darn!” She muttered, obviously they had bigger bikes than hers.
She could out accelerate them, but in a long chase they would eventually catch her and overtake her. She changed gear and started to slow down to let her pursuers catch up to her. Rupert breathed a sigh of relief. The bikes rapidly gained on Tammy. It was only when the bikes and their riders were all around her that Tammy realised that the riders were not actually human.
“Oh great!” She muttered, “A Demon Biker Gang!”
She would have to slay them of course, but not on the main road, she kept an eye out for a track leading off the road while trying to stop herself from being forced into the roadside ditch.
After what felt like hours but was in fact only a few minutes Tammy saw a track leading off into the trees. She swerved across the road and accelerated up the track in a cloud of dust momentarily leaving the demons behind her. When she gauged that she was out of sight of the road she skidded to a halt across the track and jumped off her bike.
She grabbed her Bowie Knife and Tomahawk and turned to face the demons as Rupert almost fell off the bike and scrambled to his feet. The Bearbot scanned the area and picking up on the demon bikers and immediately went into combat mode. His claws grew from his paws and shiny steel teeth appeared in his mouth. Rupert growled at the approaching demons.
“Rupert!” Ordered Tammy, “You say and protect the bike; I’ll deal with the demons.”
Rupert growled his understanding as the demons brought their bikes to a halt and dismounted. The demons laughed and joked as they approached Tammy a couple of them clutched long bike chains while the others seemed to be going to rely on their natural weapons.
“Hey guys,” Laughed Tammy nervously, “If I’d known who and what you are I’d never have left you in the dust like that.”
“Doesn’t matter little girl,” Said the demon who was the Leader, or who just had the better language skills, “Now are you going to give up without a fight or shall we tear you to pieces?”
“You do know I’m a Slayer don’t you?” Asked Tammy, “Miss Willow always says we should tell you hellspawn who we are before we kill them. But, Kennedy just says we should kill you without warning!”
The demons hesitated for a moment.
“You’re one of the Witch Queen’s Slayers?” Asked the leader.
“Uh-huh.” Confirmed Tammy.
“Hold on a minute would you?” Asked the leader as the demons went into a huddle and argued the pros and cons of fighting this particular Slayer.
“Come on guys.” Called Tammy impatiently, “If you don’t make up your minds soon I’ll start without you.”
“Hold y’horses will ya.” Called the demon’s leader looking over his shoulder at her.
Eventually the demons came out of their huddle and turned to face Tammy.
“Normally,” Announced the leader, “We wouldn’t think twice about attacking a lone Slayer. But, as you’re one of the Witch Queen’s Slayers we’ll take a rain check on this one.”
The demons started to back towards their bikes, Tammy felt rather let down.
“Oh come on guys!” She pleaded, “What will your friends say when they find out?”
“Don’t care!” Said the demon as he and his friends scurried back to their bikes and mounted up.
“Call yourselves demons?” Shouted Tammy.
“Not today Slayer,” Replied the leader as he started his engine, “Look Slayer I’m sorry, it’s just…you know? If it was just you an’ us we’d be happy to oblige. But it’s what the Witch Queen would do to us if we were to win…it’s just ain’t worth it…sorry.”
The demons revved up their engines and turned away from Tammy in a great cloud of dust and smoke and then sped off down the track at high speed. Tammy sighed as she walked back to Rupert and her bike.
“Well Rupert, what do you make of that?” She asked shaking her head sadly.
Rupert answered with a puzzled growl and shrugged his shoulders in a ‘What’re you asking me for I’m just a Bearbot’, kind of way.
“Darn them to heck!” Sulked Tammy as she watched the demons disappear into the distance; how was a girl supposed to become a scourge of the underworld if the demons kept running away?
Flizooptery cursed as only a demon could. You could not even kill a lone Slayer nowadays for fear of what the Witch Queen would do to you. He shivered at the thought of being turned into a kitten or a fluffy bunny! Even if the Witch Queen did not get you there were all the other Slayers who would come looking for revenge. He roared in frustration. In the old days things had been different, in those days you had to do something pretty stupid for the Slayer to come calling, and even then you stood a fair chance of killing her.
But those days were passed, never to return. Now you had to think twice before you killed a human or even terrorised one! The most evil things that his clan had done lately was to mutilate some cattle and form a few crop circles to raise some mischief imps to plague a farmer who had been disrespectful.
While that had all been good fun, for the demons that is, it was not really ‘evil’, not in a blood everywhere and body parts festooning the trees sort of way. Flizooptery snarled into the wind of his passing. Maybe the time had come to give up this wandering life and settle down, maybe even become ‘respectable’. The Slayers and their Witches did not bother you if you became respectable.
But that was for the future. He laughed as he thought of something to do tonight. Maybe they would go out and mutilate some crops and form the cattle into circles. That would confuse the humans!