Me and my whole world
Title : Thank you, girl
Author : Kiwikatipo
Rating : F15
Disclaimer : The BtVS folks belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. The characters from the Brady Bunch were created by Sherwood Schwartz.
Summary and Timeline: AU BtVS and therefore Angel from season 7 episode End of Days. Xander managed to successfully abduct Dawn and the battle of the Hellmouth was sadly lost. A.I. needed to form the second front against evil.
Xander Harris goes back in time to 1975 in order to save Marcia Brady, (the future mother of the savior of humanity), from an exterminator demon.
The majority of this story will be set in 1975.
California, May 2004
The skies over the beach at Santa Monica, California were illuminated half heartedly by a sickle moon. Dead fish, human and animal bodies washed up onto the polluted beach. The world had gone to hell in a hand basket.
A large crowd of soldiers of all races, nationalities and creeds were gathered around a glowing rip in the time dimensions on the blood stained sand. The soldiers were all filthy, sweat stained and the majority injured.
A wounded General Graham Miller of the U.S. Army, was being supported by Dr. Sam Finn, he didn’t think he would live to see this night, his best friend Riley hadn’t. It had only been through the incredible efforts of Commander Jessie Brady, a hard Canadian woman in her late twenties that humanity had triumphed.
The final year long battle against the forces of evil had finally been won tonight, here in California where evil first gained a foothold.
Evil personified in The First Evil – which the scarred warrior with the eye patch shaking hands with Graham and Sam, could claim to have helped empower in the first place.
Xander Harris and his pals had stuffed up big time meddling with the forces of darkness, by bringing Buffy Summers back to life.
Not that the Buffster was alive and kicking anymore, not one of Xander’s old friends and family were. Only he and Dawn were left alive from Sunnydale. The task of protecting Dawn Xander had excelled in; this was the factor which made him reluctant to carry out this last mission to ensure Earth’s freedom from demon domination.
It was flattering to be selected but Xander would have thought Connor the better bet. Connor barely had a scratch on him tonight, in spite of being in the thick of the hand to hand combat for the past ten hours. Connor was a fricking psycho however as Commander Brady pointed out.
“You take care of her, Gunn.” Xander ordered his comrade in arms for the past twelve months.
“Always, Harris.” Gunn wrapped restraining strong arms around his sobbing, twisting girlfriend. “Good luck.”
“I love you, Xander.” Dawn gulped out to the young man who had saved her life innumerable times and to whom she returned the favor twice.
“Dawnie.” Xander put his hand to her face. Damn, just when he thought himself incapable of tears.
Xander pulled himself together and saluted humanity’s leader in its time of utter darkness. “4222 Clinton Way?” he doubled checked.
“That time portal’s gonna close any second.” Jessie Brady nodded a curt confirmation and gestured with impatience to the glowing green wormhole on the sands of the beach.
“And I’m on my merry way.” With one last tender glance at Dawn, Xander jumped back in time.Santa Monica, California, April, 1975
As per normal a long line of pajama clad siblings were waiting impatiently outside the bathroom door in the Brady household first thing on Friday morning.
“Hey, Marcia, hurry up, other people need to use the freaking can, too!” Peter banged on the door and yelled to his step sister.
“Far out, Peter, you know Mom and Dad don’t like you talking like that.” Cindy combed her golden hair with her fingers and stared reproachfully at her step-brother.
“You’re so immature, Cindy.” Jan scoffed, she crossed her legs. “Man, I’m busting, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, she thinks the whole world revolves around her.”
“Do you think the new bathroom’s gonna be ready by the time Greg gets back from College?” Bobby wondered aloud.
“Do you think he and Marcia will have a heavy blow up over who gets to have their own room when he returns for the summer? I vote Greg should have his old room back.” Peter came down firmly on his older brother’s side, he and Bobby liked only being two in a room.
“Yeah, right, Marcia’s stuff has doubled in the year she’s had the upstairs den, she won’t fit back in ours.” Jan liked only being two in a room with Cindy as well.
“Is Marcia still in the bathroom?” Mike Brady the children’s father came up to them in the passageway, straightening his orange tie.
His children chorused disgruntled affirmation.
“Young lady, you know what I always say about consideration for others.” Mike raised his voice slightly so Marcia could hear it.
“Sorry Dad.” Marcia emerged from the bathroom in full pale blue eye shadowed make up and the latest maxi skirted fashion. “I’m pitching my idea today of having David Cassidy singing at the Prom this year and I was rehearsing my speech in the mirror.”
Peter unselfishly indicated for Jan to use the bathroom first. Jan dashed in and slammed the door behind her.
“Golly, that’s so groovy, Marcia. David Cassidy!” Cindy regarded her oldest sister worshipfully. “Do you think you can persuade him?”
“I got Davy Jones, didn’t I?” Marcia tossed back her shining long blonde hair. “I have ways and means.”
After retrieving her school books, Marcia proceeded to the kitchen. She sniffed with taste bud happiness.
“Waffles?” Marcia kissed the Brady’s housekeeper on the cheek, “Oh you darling, Alice.”
“Well, someone needs a full stomach if they’re going to get their senior prom committee onside.” Alice set a steaming plate before Marcia on the kitchen counter.
“What terrible news!” Carol Brady, Marcia’s mother stared at the miniature kitchen TV set and turned up the volume.
“What is it, Mrs. Brady?” Alice wiped her hands on her blue pinafore and stood beside her employer.
“A maniac has killed a mother and two daughters on the other side of town last night.” Carol blinked horrified. “They’re Alison Brady’s family, I met her in a ‘parents against drugs’ meeting last month. I can’t believe it. They even killed the family dog, what an animal.”
“Probably some tripped out hippie, I’m really sorry, Mom.” Marcia poured herself orange juice.
Xander dressed in army fatigues was experiencing difficulty in keeping a low profile as he walked down Clinton Way.
“Hey, Soldier Blue, fresh back in the world from napalming babies?” A long haired youth asked him scornfully as Xander hurried past the crowded school bus stop.
Xander ignored him. Okay, Xander now got why his Uncle Rory, an ex-Nam veteran, experienced difficulty readjusting to civilian life.
4222 Clinton Way, Xander reached his destination and rang the door bell. This situation was going to be a doozy to explain.
A blonde middle aged woman wearing a long skirt answered the front door. She was too polite to openly stare at his scruffy appearance but Xander could tell she was surprised to see him.
“Good Morning, my name’s Xander Harris, I’m a friend of Marcia’s, is she still home?” Xander gabbled quickly.
“No, she left for school ten minutes ago on her scooter.” Carol Brady snapped her fingers as something occurred to her. “Are you one of the soldiers Marcia has as a pen pal? Would you like to come in and have coffee? We’ve had two other young men drop in on her this year already.” Carol Brady had told Marcia at the time it hadn’t been a good idea to enclose photos of Marcia in her cheer-leading outfit, but with Marcia and her do-good causes (in this case, soldiers in Vietnam who lacked families to write to them) there was no stopping her blonde dynamo daughter.
“No thanks, I’ll catch up with her this evening.” Xander would have liked to warn this nice woman about her oncoming death, but Carol Brady sadly wasn’t his mission’s priority. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Brady.” He turned to go.
“What for, Captain Harris?” Carol read the man’s rank on his uniform breast pocket.
“Disturbing you,” Xander walked away.
“Who was that, honey?” Mike Brady stood beside his wife, briefcase at the ready, prepared to depart for work.
“One of Marcia’s pen-pals I think.” Carol pecked her husband on the cheek. “Thank goodness it looks like this war is finally ending and our troops will come home. That poor young man was missing an eye.”
“You have to stand up to Communists, Carol.” Mike Brady shook his head ruefully.
“I know, Mike.” Carol sighed, she waved her husband off and then went back inside to sew Bobby’s latest merit badge onto his Frontier Scout uniform.
Marcia had needed to be at school early that morning for her debating club practice. Everyone agreed their topic – why the Californian State Flag should be flown in every public and independent high school - would be a cinch to win in the Santa Monica Inter High School Debating Club Championships next week.
“Bear Power,” Marcia raised her hand in parody of the Black Power salute, everyone chuckled in appreciation at her wit and Marcia felt in a groovy head-space as she left her fellow team members and made her way to the lockers.
“Sunshine day,” Marcia hummed under her breath as she gathered her French books together, preparing for her first class. “I think I’ll go for a walk outside now.”
“Marcia, I’m through with you.” Marcia’s boyfriend’s voice rudely interrupted her good mood. “You’re two weeks over eighteen, and I need to get past second base with a girl.”
“You’re breaking up with me because I won’t go all the way?” Marcia pulled her head out of her locker in order to face down her jock boyfriend. What a jerk, Peter had been so right in warning her about Grant being a nasty creep deep down.
“Yeah, look elsewhere for your freaking prom date.” Grant Taylor announced smugly.
“That’s fine, Grant, I’m not a sex object and if my mind’s not enough for you,” Marcia never got that involved with her boyfriends emotionally, or went very far when it came to heavy petting. “Well, I’m sure I can find someone else who will take me.”
“Marcia, you’re a super frigid chick.” Grant was pissed off Marcia was taking her dumping so easily.
“Grant, you’re a chauvinist pig.” Marcia walked off with her head held high, her cheeks burning with outrage.
“You all into women’s lib now, gonna start burning your bra?” Grant yelled meanly after her in the now crowded school corridor. “You’re pretty flat anyway, from what I can tell from the times you let me put my hand down your blouse! Cocktease!”
“Right, report to the principal’s office, Taylor!” A patrolling male teacher ordered Grant instantly. “We don’t tolerate filthy language like that in Westdale High!”
Ooh, how totally uncool of Grant to behave like this. Marcia remembered to take deep breaths and think of starving children in India, as her dad said, there were always people worse off than yourself.
She took her seat in French class and smiled at her best friend Kathy coming in to sit beside her.
“Jeepers, Marsh, have you heard the latest news?” Kathy placed her books on the desk.
“School, music or world?” Marcia unzipped her pink plastic pencil case.
“Local, there have been two families with the last name Brady murdered last night.” Kathy divulged with gory relish. “They just discovered the second family half an hour ago. I heard it on the radio in Dad’s car this morning.”
“Freaky.” Marcia gave a shudder, how awful. What could she do? “Hey, maybe we could organize a public awareness raising discotheque to protest violence in Santa Monica?”
“Wow, far out, what a cool idea!” Kathy gave a double thumbs up in approval of the proposal.
“Marcia, I just heard that loser Taylor broke up with you.” The editor of the school newspaper sat down behind her. “Would you like to come to the prom with me?” He was prepared to risk the public embarrassment of getting rejected before someone else asked the popular Marcia.
“Gee, Travis, gosh, thanks for asking me, can I have the weekend to think it over?” Marcia smiled at him sweetly. Who knew what other better offers she might get before the day was out?
Xander reached the grounds of Westdale High School. He discovered the whereabouts of the school office and prepared to make up a cock and bull story to find out Marcia’s timetable.
“My lord, what is the world coming to?” One of the school secretaries shook her head at the news coming from her transistor radio. “A third family murdered at seven thirty this morning with the name Brady? I plain don’t understand.” She noticed Xander. “How can I help you, sir?”
“I need to find a Marcia Brady. Her boyfriend took a bullet from the Viet Cong, and I have a last letter for her from him.” Xander tried to sound plausible. “I’m only in Santa Monica a short while, a friend’s taking me to Los Angeles in an hour.”
“Leave it with me, son.” The secretary’s voice softened, “I’ll make sure she gets it.”
Okay, that letter plan had not worked, being asked to leave the school premises before the police were called, backfired badly. The principal, emerging from his office with a kid he just finished tearing strips off, recognized Xander’s uniform was not standard nineteen seventies U.S. military issue.
Xander had to get out of this uniform, he needed to find Marcia Brady before the demon sent back in time to kill her reached her first.
Xander lurked across the street from the high school. He spotted a suburban mom in a station wagon pull out of her driveway next door to the school.
Perfect. A deserted house to requisition clothing from.
“Three cheers for Marcia Brady!” The Prom Committee chairman led the round of applause from the enthused teenagers. “Radical idea, Marcia, really far out, what made you think of it?”
“I read in Tiger Beat magazine, Santa Monica was David Cassidy’s favorite vacation spot.” Marcia grinned in triumph she looked in sympathy at her vanquished only opponent. “I’m sorry, Dwayne, but no one’s heard of this New York ‘garage band’ you suggested.”
“It’s cool, Marcia, someday The Ramones are gonna be real famous.” Dwayne surrendered with good grace to the wishes of the majority.
The Prom Committee smirked skeptically and went their separate ways.
“Uh, Marcia? I was wondering if you had a date for the prom?” Dwayne caught up with Marcia in the school corridor.
“Why no, not yet,” Marcia played with her hair and batted her curled eyelashes. Dwayne was kind of a weirdo in a lot of ways but he had dreamboat good looks.
“Great, um, would you like to go with me?” Dwayne suggested hopefully.
“Excuse me, Marcia Brady?” a tall young man wearing sunglasses inside, how odd, and wearing an ill fitting brown suit teamed with an appalling tie, was unexpectedly leading her by the shoulder down the corridor. “I’m from the Santa Monica Daily Press and we’re interviewing girls on what corsages they want to receive at their senior prom this year. Your principal recommended I talk to you.”
“Gosh, that’s an important topic, there’s so much to consider, color, availability, the message your date sends with what he gives you.” Marcia allowed herself to be led into an empty classroom without protest.
“Okay, this is gonna seem a strange statement, but don’t panic and I’m not going to hurt you.” Xander shut the door behind them and pulled a gun out of his inside jacket pocket. “Don’t scream, either.”
Marcia closed her mouth obediently, that had in fact been her body’s first automatic response to the situation.
“Are you the guy that’s been going around murdering Bradys?” Marcia squeaked, trying not to puke with terror.
“No, no, that’s not me, relax, that’s a time traveling exterminator demon.” Xander hastened to reassure her.
Marcia appeared to be even more tense than before. “You’re high on something aren’t you?”