DIsclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or BTVS, I just use them for my own amusement.
John Winchester took a deep breath before starting his truck, it had been two weeks since he had seen Willow and finally she was close enough for them to see each other again. They had talked on the phone every other day learning as much as they could about each other. It was hard for him to talk to her with his friends words running through his head, John knew that his life didn't allow for a relationship, even with her knowing everything about the supernatural. Sam and Dean would never understand it, they might even protest against it. Bobby already voiced his opinions about her, and maybe if he listened enough he would believe all the reasons that were clearly in front of his face. She was too young, their lives revolved around two different things, he was still in love with his dead wife, and they both were on the road all the time.
Even with all the doubt in his head, John still called her, he still talked with her for hours on end, and he still made time to go see her. He looked forward to seeing her, touching her and kissing her again. Willow was the kind of girl who carried around an aura of warmth, she was caring and compassionate, beautiful, dangerous, and could hold her own in a fight. Somehow she was perfect... for his son.
John swerved on the road, avoiding a motorcyclist who was driving too fast. He ran his hand through his head trying to block his train of thought. Willow was not the kind of woman who would take one look at his son and leave him behind. Sex was not casual for her and leaving him for his son, well that was something he could not see her doing... except in his imagination.
He pulled up in the parking lot of the motel, a little upset that this cheap almost derelict place was the only room she could afford with the money given from the watchers council. She had told him last week that even though they did have the money for something more expensive, she made sure the bulk of the funds went towards the training and upkeep of the slayers. It just proved to him how giving she was, but sometimes he felt that she let the council and her friends walk over her, only because of her stint with dark magic. Hopefully with time she would realize that she had more than made up for her crimes, with all the lives that she had saved and devoting her life to the council. She was smart and in another life she could have been making money in computers or teaching at a university, she was just another person whose life had been changed by the supernatural.
He slowly exited his truck and walked to the room, she had called him and given him the number hours before, John knocked and was happy when the door opened revealing her smiling face.
Willow had spent the last hour moving from the bed, to the chair and back to the bed, she was nervous about seeing John again. She thoroughly enjoyed their conversations and knew that she was falling for the older man. In some ways it was reminiscent of her crush on Giles, he was an older man, who knew so much more about life than she did and she could look up to him in her times of need. But he was completely different from Giles in the fact that she would never look at him in a fatherly way. John was a man to her, a very wonderful man who had strong values when it came to women and his family. He talked to her as his equal and never once made her feel ashamed or hurt about her past and the things that she had done.
Once again Willow moved from the bed to the chair before she slapped herself in the head when she realized that John had to knock before he came into the room, so he would not see her sitting when he first arrived. Willow smoothed down the skirt on her summer dress trying to knock out a few wrinkles that had appeared in her constant movement. She decided to wear something feminine and casual, hoping that he would enjoy seeing her in a dress as opposed to the jeans and t-shirt that he had first saw her in. She knew that if Faith or Buffy ever found out about her nervousness they would say that she had it for John bad, and Willow did not want to even contemplate the truth of the situation. She liked John, she liked his conversation and she liked his stories. She would think about him and start smiling, resulting in incessant teasing from her friends. So maybe she did like him more than what she was letting on, but a relationship with John Winchester was not possible, no matter what her heart was telling her. Taking a chance on him would eventually lead to heartbreak, not because of their separate lives, but because of the ghost that would constantly be between them.
She could understand his pain, Willow had gone through it herself, but unlike John she had moved on. Holding onto the pain of losing Tara would have eventually destroyed her, it had almost destroyed everything. But after twenty years he could still talk about her like she had just died yesterday, he was still in love with Mary, she had loved him, took care of him and gave him two sons. Willow knew that she was able to relate to him better than anyone else in his life, ad exception given to his son Sam except for that he did not talk to his son about lost. There was one other person who he could have talked to about loss, but his shame kept him from any mention of his former partner when he was around Ellen Harvelle.
All these names that she had learned in the last two weeks, people that she was very interested in meeting. Willow had vowed to stop by the roadhouse one day just to see what it really looked like, maybe see the woman that she had heard so much about. Or maybe one day John would take her there to meet her, or to meet Bobby, or maybe even meet his sons. But it was too soon for her to even mention it to John, but they had time.
Willow moved to the door after hearing the knock, she couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she answered the door, seeing John standing there, dressed in a white t-shirt and jeans. He even had a small smile on his face not saying anything as he stared down at her. Willow reached her hand out to him and closed the space between them, getting up on her tiptoes placing a light kiss on his lips.
She pulled back and moved her hand to his face, “How was your drive?”
John grabbed her hand and pulled it to his lips, kissing her palm, “It went by extremely slow.” He looked her up and down, “You look beautiful Willow.”
She took a step back letting him in the room; she still held onto his hand and walked him over to the bed, “Thank you, I had hoped you would like it.” Willow sat down, blushing realizing that they were finally together after two weeks. John just looked at her with a knowing smile on his face. There suddenly seemed like there was a pressure in the room, and for the first time since they had met, Willow had nothing to say to John. She looked away from him, trying to find something else to say.
“So anything interesting happen since yesterday?” John started to massage the back of her hand, hoping to ease some of the tension that had suddenly come over her.
“Xander came back from Nigeria, so I got to see him before I left. He’s all tanned and extra toned; I swear he got mauled by all the girls in there.”
John bit back the slight wave of jealousy he felt at her mention of Xander, “That’s great, I know how much you missed him.”
“Yeah, he basically went off on his own after Sunnydale, losing Anya was hard on him. Until he came back and started working for the council, but then he took the first mission he could on the other side of the world. It was almost as bad as Buffy, Giles and Dawn going to Rome, but they visit every month just about. Xander is gone so much and hardly ever calls, it’s like he doesn’t want to see us anymore. But he said it was going to be awhile before he leaves again, so after I finish pickup, and seeing you again before I go back, it’s all catch up for the Xandman and myself.”
John laughed, “Tell me you don’t have a nickname like that for me?”
Willow hit him on the shoulder, “What if I wanted to call you a silly pet name? It’s not that bad, it’s something friends call friends… or lovers call lovers.”
John thought about it for a moment, sure they were lovers and he could honestly say they were friends too, so it would only be nice to have a nickname for each other, even if it wasn’t his ‘thing’ per say. “So if I wanted you to give me a nickname what would you choose?”
Willow turned her head and looked at John, “That would take some time, I mean you’re so you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He laughed, pulling her closer.
“Well you are a hunter; you are a father with grown sons who call you either dad, or sir. So give me a minute before I end up calling you superman or big daddy or something equally disturbing.”
“Okay, I’ll wait then.” He laughed again and lay back onto the pillows and Willow moved back onto his chest.
“This is nice.”
John smiled, “Yeah this is, and there's no place else I’d rather be right now.”
Willow bit her tongue, relaxing into his embrace, not wanting to think the words that had already formed in her head. He would rather be somewhere else… in the arms of his wife.
“The only things I get called are Dad, sir and John. Mary used to call me honey, but it’s been awhile.”
Willows smile dropped at the mention of his dead wife, she knew she shouldn’t feel so jealous or hurt, Mary was a big part of his life and Willow could understand, she did feel the same way about Tara… at least she thought she did. John looked at Willow and saw the look on her face; he moved his hands up and started to rub her shoulders. She moved back into his touch letting out a sigh, “This is great, I haven’t had a good massage in a long time.”
“Well then we need to do this as much as possible.” John’s hands moved down to the small of her back, and he smiled as she let out a small moan.
Willow closed her eyes and started to lean back into his touch, “Yeah, once a week would be wonderful, I get so stressed out dealing with all those slayers. I hope that Xander stays and goes on runs, and then it will be more than just me, Faith and Robin.”
“Well you’ll see me again in a few days, so we’ll just see how things work out, maybe I can come with you one day or you can join me on a hunt.”
Willow turned to face him, the smile on her face bigger that before, “I would like that, a lot.”
“Good, best part is I don’t have to explain anything to you, it will probably one of the easiest hunts I go on.” John kissed her on the top of her head, “So what did you have planned for tonight?”
“I figured we could get something to eat for dinner and spend the rest of the night getting smoochies.”
He smiled, “Smoochies, I keep hearing about this from you, but since I’ve gotten here I havent got half of what you promised.”
Willow turned completely over and crawled up his body, “Well I guess I just have to remedy that huh?”
John nodded and Willow dipped her head down and capturing his lips, a quick peck at first, but it soon turned into something more. She pulled back, “So should we just order in?”
“Yes, I think we should.” John pulled her down for another kiss, and wrapped his arms around her. They never did get around to ordering dinner.