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Two for Tuesday Special

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Summary: Dawn, and now Harry, just can’t escape what happens on Tuesdays.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > General > HumorKristenFR1311,193141,64723 Aug 0723 Aug 07Yes
Author: Kristen aka KristenRose
Title: Two for Tuesday Special
Fandom(s): Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Harry Potter
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the Harry Potter books. Those rights belong to Joss Whedon and J.K. Rowling respectively.
Rating: FR13
Spoilers: Everything up to The Gift for BtVS and OOTP for HP. The two universes go AU from there.
Summary: Dawn, and now Harry, just can’t escape what happens on Tuesdays.
Feedback: Please! I’m finally getting back to writing after a very lengthy absence and I’d love to know what you think. Encouragement keeps me inspired!
AN: This takes place in the summer after the Gift for BtVS and Harry’s fifth year for HP.

“New rule,” Buffy declared. She stood facing Dawn and Harry on the sofa with arms crossed and a stern expression on her face. “On Tuesdays,” Buffy continued, “both of you are to remain in the company of either Xander and Anya, Willow and Tara, or Spike and myself at all times. Neither of you are to be anywhere by yourself or with just each other on Tuesdays. Do I make myself clear?”

“Buffy, that’s ridiculous!” Dawn protested.

“Be happy that doesn’t apply to bathroom trips,” Buffy warned Dawn. The Slayer looked with unhappy eyes at all the injuries the two teens sported. She had gotten to them in time to prevent anything worse happening to them, but she still felt horrible that she hadn’t been able to stop the injuries they currently sported with winces and hisses of pain. Willow and Tara had the first aid kits out and were seated on each side of the two teens doing what they could to treat the injuries. Bruises and some scratches deep enough to be cuts decorated Harry and Dawn’s skin. Dawn also had a particularly spectacular black eye that she couldn’t see out of and poor Harry couldn’t lean back against the couch without pain because of the claw marks that had shredded his shirt and cut long stripes on his back. Every injury her eyes met screamed to her of her failure as a sister to Dawn and protector for Harry.

“Just Tuesdays, right?” Harry clarified. He could live with Tuesdays. It was worlds better than the constant protection they wanted to subject him to back in England.

“We don’t need this,” Dawn argued.

Harry glanced sideways at his friend. Mutiny was clearly written on her face. Tuesdays were obviously more important to Dawn than they were to him.

“Yes, you do,” Buffy insisted.

Harry could see that Buffy didn’t look at all ruffled by Dawn’s unhappiness and resentment. She had taken a stand and wasn’t going to be moved. “You’ve been attacked or kidnapped every Tuesday for a month now, and Harry right along with you since he’s come to stay with us. You guys are a two for Tuesday special for every Big Bad that wanders through the Hellmouth.”

“It’s true,” Anya confirmed. She pulled out her notes and graphs in the notebook she had been carrying around with her everywhere. “I was bored the day we talked about this and Xander wasn’t able to keep me occupied in the manner of my choosing at the time.” At this point she grinned proudly at Xander. “See honey, how I remembered you didn’t want me to mention the orgasms I wanted and your injuries from page 397 of-“

“Nyah!” Xander yelped and lunged to cover Anya’s mouth with his hand. “Remember your promise!”

Anya drew back offended. “Well I still don’t see why you don’t want to talk about it. You managed to give me multiple orgasms that night even if you did hurt your-“

“Anya!” This time six voices screamed out in simultaneous protest.

Spike, the only one who hadn’t said anything looked as if he couldn’t decide whether to be reluctantly intrigued at the details of what promised to be an interesting story or disgusted since it directly referred to details of Xander’s sex life, something he already had more knowledge of than he wanted.

Much to Anya’s amusement, though the others had protested she could see that they too were slightly curious in spite of themselves. She resolved to let slip the whole story another time. It was just so fun to see Xander panic and blush while looking a little guiltily proud every time she bragged about how good he was at satisfying her.

Anya’s face didn’t show any of the laughter she felt inside; instead she dredged up a bit of irritation at being hushed and huffed. “Fine.” Anya turned her attention back to her papers now that she’d had her fun. “Dawn, here’s your records.”

Much to Dawn’s chagrin, a good majority of the trouble she got into did occur on Tuesdays.

Anya had done charts for every one of the Scoobies with days of the week, the different types of events and the outcomes.

To Harry’s surprise even he was included on the charts too, though his records only covered the period of time he’d been in Sunnydale. He was rather thankful for that. If Buffy knew half the things that had happened to him she might be less relaxed about the freedom she granted him here in Sunnydale. He’d had enough of Order members or Aurors shadowing him anytime he wasn’t on the grounds of Hogwarts, Grimmauld Place, or #4 Privet Drive.

It was no surprise to the Scoobies that Xander’s results showed he was the demon magnet they teased him about being.

Harry was astonished to see that Buffy’s results were extensive as well and shockingly included that she had died twice. He was definitely asking Dawn about that as soon as they were alone. He wasn’t sure if the fact that Buffy had died twice reassured his confidence in her as his Order assigned protector (clearly death stuck to her as well as it did to him) or lessened his confidence because she had clearly come up against something she couldn’t handle twice. If it turned out to be the latter, he dearly hoped Voldemort and his Death Eaters weren’t included in the category of things that were too deadly for the Slayer to defeat. He really needed more details than the scant information Anya had in her chart.

“I can’t believe you were able to find out so much. Even the stuff you weren’t here for,” Willow said as she continued to bandage Dawn’s wounds. “Wow Anya, that’s incredibly detailed.”

Anya looked rather proud of her efforts. “I have my ways. Giles’ Watcher journals were a big help but they didn’t cover everything. I had to go to other sources.”

Spike was disappointed that Giles wasn’t here to hear of Anya’s invasion of his privacy. Not that his private records ever managed to stay private for long.

Dawn managed to look simultaneously impressed with Anya’s research prowess and frustrated that it proved her sister’s point so effectively.

Buffy was looking over Dawn’s records with a certain amount of smugness and Dawn knew she was never going to have Tuesdays to herself again for a long, long time.

End Ficlet

AN: It ends there for now. I might expand this into an actual series or multi-chapter fic when I have the time. I’ll put it higher up in priority on my list of what to update if there’s a lot of reviews requesting it.

So if you want to see more
You know what to do
Let your interest be known
And write a review!

Come on, I wrote poetry for you. Surely that deserves a review?

The End

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