by Eric Jablow
Sequel to "Keepers in Rome" and "Inspired Conversations".----
"Are we there yet?"
"Are we there yet?"
"No, Xander! I know Willow stuck me with the job of watching you, but I'm not happy with it either. So, grow up," said Roger Bloom.
"Tell me why you have to drive us to Lexington instead of us flying there."
"Because DHS gets very nervous when either of you go flying anywhere without giving them one week's notice. Just ask Buffy what happened the last time she tried flying anywhere."
Buffy stirred from her nap upon hearing her name.
"I guess you're right," says Xander. He dozed again.
"Are we there yet?"
"Buffy, grow up. Please."---
Buffy and Xander stood outside a rest stop 60 miles north of Lexington, Kentucky; they were sipping coffee from large travel mugs.
"So, are the other teams in position, Xander?"
"Annette and Carl are near Phil Myers' site. Eugenia and Bethany are at Jeannie Wilkes', and Danielle and Bob are at Cara Phelps' site."
"I hate it when we get a group vampire attack and siring."
"Reminds you of the Anointed One?"
"Yeah. Four people from U. of Kentucky and Transylvania University coming back from a vacation trip, and they get whacked."
"We haven't been able to kill of all the vampires yet, but we're getting there. The remaining ones must be desperate. And who'd name a university after Drac's home anyway?"
"I don't know. But I'm getting a funny feeling about this one. The three of us will be at the cemetery in Lexington for Sam O'Brien's; I think we'll all be needed."
Roger walked toward them from the travel center. Xander asked him, "You got rooms for us?"
"Rooms 232 and 342 at the Lexington Marriott. Your room has a Jacuzzi, Buffy."
"I get that?"
Roger shrugged. "You're the senior Slayer."
"Thanks. I do ache sometimes after a fight." The three went back to the car.
"Did I ever thank you for taking down Dru?"
"Thanks. Don't do it again."
"I'll try not to." They get into the car.
"So, Xan, how was the Boston trip?"
"Pretty good. Faith was Faith, of course. But I think we'll get at least one good analyst out of the deal. I am going to need to talk to the SHS Memorial website; there's a little too much data out there on us."
"That could be bad."---
Just before dusk that evening, Buffy, Xander, and Roger waited near a fresh grave at the Shady Rest Cemetery of Lexington.
"They're all in position and ready," said Xander.
"Good." Buffy made a final check of her stakes; she had enough of them to pitch a large tent. Then, she unsheathed her sword.
"You really like that one," said Xander. His crossbow was at hand, and an axe was strapped to his belt.
Roger looked carefully at the sword. "That is an interesting blade. Where did you get it?"
"She's not going to tell us, Roger."
"No, I'm not. Whatever happens, Roger, keep Xander safe." The "Or else!" she left unspoken.
"I have only shielding spells, Buffy."
"Do you ever get the feeling that we're getting bored with this?"
"We're professionals, Xander. But we'd better pay attention. We can't afford to slip up."
The three heard a familiar sliding noise from the grave they were near. "Showtime."
A pair of claws poked through the earth, and Buffy got her stake ready. Then, the thing masquerading as Sam O'Brien pulled itself halfway out of the ground. It looked at them, and shook its head. "Wha-wha-where am I?"
Buffy and Xander snickered; about one-third of all new vampires tried to play dumb. The rest were just dumb. "Goodbye, 'Sam.'" The vampire snarled and transformed, but that lasted only five seconds before Buffy's stake pierced its heart.
"That was too easy."
"Look behind you, Buffy," replied Xander. A troop of a dozen vampires strode toward them. They carry lead pipes, chains, and switchblades. "That's Lyle Gorch--and the Sharks?"
"We meet again, Slayer. And you don't have a monster around to help you."
"Don't need one." The junior vampires charged; with a flick of Buffy's wrist and a thud of a crossbow firing, two of them were only dust. "Shield him!"
Buffy drew her sword and charged the vampire troop; five of the junior vampires ran to meet her while the other four swung around toward Xander and Roger. Roger spoke a word in Latin and threw a handful of red powder on the ground; sparks rose around them. Then a glowing cylinder surrounded them, and the four running vampires bounced off.
Buffy fenced with the five vampires facing her, but they must have trained together; each time she struck at one, its fellows pressed their attack on her and she was forced to pull back. She occasionally drew blood striking at their exposed arms and legs, but that would only be a nuisance. She received some glancing blows from their pipes and clubs, but she could shrug those off all night.
"Are you worried, Xander?" Roger had never seen Buffy fight.
"Piece of cake." Xander looked a bit unsure of himself. Lyle called out a command, and two of the vampires trying to batter their way through the shield spell then peeled off to try to get behind Buffy. "Buffy, behind you!"
Just before the newcomers reached her, Buffy leaped into the air, somersaulting over their heads. As she landed, she threw a stake at one of them newcomers; only dust was left.
Two vampires stood guard over Xander and Roger; Lyle and the remaining vampires then charged Buffy. Now with seven opponents, she was worried. Then, Buffy started to hear a faint high-pitched cry coming from high in the air in the general direction of town, but none of her opponents seemed to hear it. The fight went on, the noise getting louder.
After a few indecisive minutes of battle, Lyle lost his patience. Lyle stepped behind one of the junior vampires and shoved it forward, spitting it on Buffy's sword. The vampires try to swarm her as she lets go of the sword; one punches her in the right side, dropping her to the ground. She desperately tries to roll away from the vampires, as Xander looks on in horror, but one looms over her and grabs her.
As the vampire bent down to drain her, a winged figure glided over the fighters and stooped on the two of them. Just as the vamp was about to bite her, the winged monster grabbed it, piercing the vamp's torso. The vamp screamed as the monster flew off with it, and Buffy leapt to her feet.
Buffy ran through the shocked vamps and reached the transfixed demon. "I'm going to need this." She then pulled the sword from the vamp's torso and ended its existence. She heard a cry from above. She looked up to see the monster dropping his prey from tree-height. It landed head first onto a gravestone; its head a red ruin, it was out of the fight.
The remaining vampires walked gingerly toward Buffy; they were a little cowed. Suddenly, the monster banked and flew through the milling vampires. They ducked as it landed next to Buffy. It gently holds her with its claws, and it launches the two of them into the air, escaping the vampires' charge.
"Who are you, pretty lady?" The monster had a distorted, half-human face, and his wings are thin and membranous. His voice was high-pitched and reedy.
"I'm Buffy. And you?"
"They call me 'Bat Boy.'"
"Thank you, 'Bat Boy'."
Bat Boy made a sweeping turn and flew over the vampire horde.
"What are those guys?"
Bat Boy shakes a bit in the air, and Buffy tells him, "Calm down. Try not to drop me."
"They give bats a bad name. How do we kill them?"
"Oh. A stake through the heart, or cut off their heads."
Within the enchanted circle, Xander pulled out a digital camera and took a picture of the flying pair.
Buffy smiled. Bat Boy's wings flapped once, and they swept down toward the milling vampires. One foolhardy vampire ran toward them, and then Buffy told Bat Boy to aim toward the vampire's left. As they passed it, Buffy swings her sword; one more vampire became dust.
Except for Lyle, the remaining mobile vampires all panicked and started to run. Roger chose that moment to dismiss his shield, and Xander killed a fleeing vampire with a crossbow bolt.
"Up a little, please," said Buffy, and Bat Boy aimed toward Lyle. Just before they reached Lyle, Buffy had Bat Boy let her go. She landed feet-first, directly onto Lyle's shoulders; Lyle nearly snapped in two as Buffy continued into a rolling break-fall.
Lyle was still staggering when Buffy returned and kicked it in the back, sending it flying into a gravestone. Thoroughly broken, the vampire gave no resistance when Bat Boy picked it up by the legs. The winged creature flew off, Lyle upside down below him. Lyle moaned a curse as he saw them rushing toward a tree. The last thing he saw was a heavy limb of the tree aimed at his chest.
Xander and Roger stood at Buffy's side as Bat Boy returned; Xander had ended the existence of the vampire Bat Boy had dropped onto the grave stone. "You see, Roger, monsters can be quite useful and pleasant sometimes."
Bat Boy landed in front of them. "That was fun! Thanks."
"Thank you," said Buffy.
"If you ever need help, you can reach us here," said Xander. He handed Bat Boy a WCI business card. Then, they heard some yells from about a hundred yards away. "The rest of the vampires?"
Buffy said, "Not unless these vampires had rifles."
"Tranquilizer guns. They're after me. I'd better go." Bat Boy kissed Buffy's cheek. Then he ran a few steps in the other direction, and took to the air.
"Fair winds, Bat Boy." Buffy waved as Bat Boy flew off.
The new group reached them as Bat Boy flew past the stand of trees where he had disposed of Lyle. In despair, the leader fired a dart in the direction of the winged creature. "He's getting away!"
Buffy and Xander walked toward the group of people. They would have asked who the men were, but their sweat shirts had 'F.B.I.' lettering on them. The second armed man tried to run past Buffy to get a better view of Bat Boy, but Buffy grabbed the back of his outfit; he stopped dead.
Xander gave Roger a signal, and Roger murmured a Word of Power, which made him unnoticeable. Roger edged away toward their car.
"Get out of our way."
"No. Who are you chasing?"
"None of your business. Just recapturing some trash."
Buffy nodded. "I think Bat Boy got away. We're going to wait right here until we're sure of that."
Finally, they noticed Buffy's sword and Xander's crossbow. "You two are under arrest."
"Obstructing Federal officers. Carrying illegal weapons."
Buffy and Xander laughed at that.
"You won't be laughing soon."
Buffy turned to Xander. "What should we do?"
"We can do something stupid and meaningless, or we can just play along." "Right." The two submitted to the indignity of handcuffing and body-searching; the agents were surprised by the quantity and type of weapons they had found.---
"Janice, get Willow." Roger Bloom was seated in the WCI car and spoke into his cell phone.
"She went to a movie with Kennedy."
"Get her. Buffy and Xander were just arrested by the FBI."
"Oh, hell. No, I'm not calling Willow for that. Do you want her to blow up the FBI building?"
"Well, do something."
"Wait one." Janice put him on hold, and Roger disliked the Muzak version of 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice.' A minute later, Janice connected again.
"I've brought Dawn in on this, Roger."
"Tell me what happened," said Dawn.
"The whole thing was an ambush attempt by Lyle Gorch. A dozen vamps jumped us, and it was getting pretty bad until a creature calling itself 'Bat Boy' showed up."
"Bat Boy. Are you on drugs?"
"I should be to say something like that. Anyhow, the thing and Buffy took out Lyle and most of the vamps, and then some FBI agents chasing that thing showed up. Buffy and Xander delayed them, but the FBI arrested them."
"Got it. I'll take care of it. Go back to the hotel and wait for my call." The call cut off.---
Dawn dialed a phone number in Washington.
"This is the DHS automated answering system. If you know your party's extension, please dial it now."
Dawn punched a code in. The phone rang once.
"Brent, it's Dawn, code 27182818." Brent looked at a code list and whistled into the phone. "How may I help you?"
"I need to get two people out from under arrest. The Bureau ran into them while they were at work, and didn't like their attire."
"You're at your contact number?" "Yes." "You'll get a call in 5."
"You'd better. I haven't flown off the handle, but other people here might." "Right."---
"That's an interesting sword you were carrying, Elizabeth Anne Summers."
Buffy sat in an interrogation room at the Lexington office of the FBI. "It's very old, and you do not want to damage it." She gave the agent her fiercest scowl, and he stepped back for a second.
"What were you doing in that cemetery?"
"None of your business."
"You're under arrest. It is our business."---
"Alexander Lavelle Harris. What were the two of you doing in that cemetery?"
"We were there for a picnic."
"You're already facing prison time on weapons charges. Do you really want to add more problems for yourself?"
"Believe me, this is nothing."
"So, why the crossbow? And why wooden bolts? Most hunting crossbows use fiberglass."
"Because I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy?"---
The leader and another agent were trying to get an explanation from Buffy, but neither the leader's threats nor the other agent's cajoling evoked any reaction from her. Then, around eleven o'clock, someone knocked on the door.
"What is it," said the leader.
"Agent Francis, phone call." He grumbled and walked out of the room. His partner tried to get to Buffy, but she simply closed her eyes and remembered Heaven.---
Agent Francis took the phone his colleague handed him and spoke:
"Agent Francis here."
"Agent Francis, I am Deputy Assistant Attorney General Carl Donnels."
"You are interrogating two suspects, an Elizabeth Summers and an Alexander Harris."
"Yes, we are. Do you know anything about them?"
"I know too much about them, which is why you are going to let the two of them go."
"Go? They will be charged with obstruction of justice. We are not letting them go. And I don't know you from Adam. You are not in my chain of command, Sir."
"I was afraid you were going to say that. So, I have someone who is." Carl gave the phone the man next to him; that man said, "Agent Francis, are you listening to me?"
Francis was shocked by the voice. "Director?"
"Agent Francis, I do not have the time to tell you how stupid you are being. You will listen to D.A.A.G. Donnels, you will follow every instruction he gives you, and you will account yourself very lucky that you and your team are uninjured."
The Director handed the phone back to Carl Donnels; he continued saying, "Agent Francis, I only want to explain myself once, so you get Xander and Buffy into the same interrogation room, you join them there, and you put me on speaker. Do you understand me?"
"Then, do it."
Three minutes later, Xander had been led into Buffy's interrogation room, and Agent Francis had the call transferred to the speaker phone.
"Buffy, Xander, I am Deputy Assistant Attorney General Carl Donnels, and I understand you were arrested in a Lexington cemetery. May I assume you weren't there for sightseeing?"
"You may, Carl. I guess you know what we do."
"I am the DOJ delegate to S-Com, and my job is to ease any legal difficulties your organization may have. The President told me last year, 'They have a difficult job to do, and they do it very well. Keep our people from getting in their way.'"
"Thanks you and him for that. Now can you get them to uncuff us?"
"Francis, release the two of them before Buffy finds it necessary to damage government property." Francis took the time to unlock Buffy and Xander.
"Buffy, will you and Xander have any problems after tonight?"
Xander spoke first: "We have a major problem. These agents were trying to recapture a non-human that they had imprisoned, and that I guess they were experimenting on. You know why we can't allow that."
Buffy added, "You know our policy. If they're criminal, try them and jail them. If they're part of our jurisdiction, just kill them already. Don't experiment on them."
"I've seen some of the records from 2000. Is this true, Francis?" Francis didn't reply. "Well, I'm going to have do an inspection. Expect me at 8am the day after tomorrow, Agent Francis."
"But he was dangerous!"
"Your words may have painful consequences, Francis. Now, give them all their gear, and have a discreet agent take them to their hotel."
"One more thing, Francis. If any one of you leaks anything to the press, to your wives, to your bartenders, or to anyone at all, I shall make sure that person spends the next twenty-five years at a Super-Max prison. It's that important. Am I clear?"
"Quite clear, Sir."
"Now escort them out. Good night."---
Roger met Buffy and Xander at the hotel; he held the box of pizza that Xander had asked him to get, and the three of them went to Buffy's room. They closed the door behind them, and Buffy sat down on the bed.
"Roger, Xander and I will need to stay here for a week; we need to track down the ones who got away. You are going to go back to Cleveland. Leave the car; take your choice of bus or train."
"But, Willow told me to watch over Xander."
"I love Willow dearly, but I do not need a baby sitter," said Xander.
"I'm tired of her trying to control everyone to keep them safe. If she gives you any trouble, you tell her to talk with me."
"And, Roger, go back to your room. Xander and I have Board of Directors' business to discuss." Roger left.----
BtVS is a creation of Joss Whedon for Kuzui Enterprises. "Bat Boy" was created by Dick Kulpa for the Weekly World News and is the title character of "Bat Boy: The Musical". WWN will publish its final issue on August 27, 2007, and I'm pig-biting mad over it. I classified this as a musical crossover, since I wasn't sure what really fit. But, if a moderator asks me to, I'll change it.
To be continued in the next non-thrilling story, "Parallel Conversations".