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Even The Dead Speak

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Summary: A respone to Methos's Tales From the Barman... My first story on this site. I welcome reviews. Enjoy. Crossover with Star Wars, sort of.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Xander-Centered > Ficlet Collections(Past Donor)ApocSMFR1511,545011,77531 Aug 0731 Aug 07Yes
Even the Dead Speak

Disclaimer: Xander and other BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Star Wars belongs to George Lucas. Pixel belongs to Robert A. Heinlein. Dead dude belongs to me.

It was raining heavily outside. The bar had just opened up about an hour ago, and there had been only about five to ten people enter. As usual, on a dark stormy night, business was slow at Nights. The wards had not even been tripped. Xander looked up from cleaning glasses as a massive surge of power ran through the wards and a thump sounded in the broom closet.

What looked vaguely like a man seemingly ghosted in from the doorway, a long black cape billowing in the wind. The man was clothed in a skin tight red and black suit, with a cloak and a skull like mask. He had what looked like two odd lightsaber’s add his side. All in all the man reminded him of a cross between Darth Vader, Death Eaters, and a Persian Immortal.

The man seemed to flicker as he approached the bar, walking right through chairs and tables before solidifying to sit on a stool. As he sat down he glanced up at the wall with a bare twitch of confusion.

“Welcome to Nights. The name is Xander, owner of this fine tavern/bar/establishment. That’s the wall. People come and tell stories and give me things to put on the wall. In return the drinks are free.”

“A story?” the man said, his voice cold and dark. “A story you ask? I have many thousands of those. First however, where am I?”

“Cleveland, Ohio. The USA on the planet Earth. The Milky Way Galaxy. Far from home, I’m guessing.”

“Earth? Odd. However, I should have guessed that such a primitive race as yours would name a world something so mundane. And your guess was right boy. As near as I can figure out, this is most likely another dimension than mine. For last thing I remember, I was in my tomb on Korriban.”

“Korriban, huh? That’s the name of a place in a movie called Star Wars. Which you definitely seem to resemble closely. The lightsaber’s a clear giveaway. As for you, I got no idea who the hell you are.”

“Me? I’m a simple spirit. Albeit one with the power in his past life to bring his spirit into solid form and resurrect the dead. Ah, but you still want my name, don’t you? So curious, at least mankind where I come from is smarter than that. I should know, I, after all am Human.”
“Still not impressed. The getup may be intimidating to someone else, but to me you look like just another fan chasing after false realities.” Xander said, knowing it would get a rise out the man.

It did. He rose up out of his seat like a raging supernova, anger clear on his face.

“ME! A simple mortal!! How dare you! I am Sith Admiral Darth Terak of Korriban, of the Clan Sith, Descendant of Charles Sith (Massasi founder of the Sith Philosophy), only human founder of the Most Ancient Sith Empire! I have lived a hundred thousand million years, and I have seen things even the worlds would have never imagined! I commanded an army of trillions, and a fleet comprised of the most powerful warships in existence. This pathetic planet could have fit inside of my flagships main cannon array! I designed the Star Forge, built the Suncrusher, brought General Grievous, Admiral Thrawn, Naga Sadow, Darth Bane, and Count Dooku back to life. I designed that machine that would bring me and the thirteen founders of the Most Ancient Sith Empire back to life! You dare to question me?!”

At this point everyone in the bar was staring at the man, no Sith Admiral, in fear, his outburst having contained power that could have leveled the Sol System in one fell stroke.”

“Calm down, it was a simple statement, nothing more. But now I know you have a story to tell. Like how about those lightsaber’s?”

“These paltry things? Mere child’s play! Granted no one else in existence can handle two dual bladed lightsaber’s at once, but still, a true story should be much more powerful. Still, if it’s a story you want, a story you shall have. Give me a glass of that bottle back there, the one that says Scotch.”

As he was speaking Pixel had jumped out of the wall and landed on the table in front of Xander.

“The story is long so I shall summarize it. This story begins as long, long time ago, and involves one Human, four Rakatan, and eight Massasi. These thirteen individuals were found gathered in a bar on the world of Korriban, the home of the Sith. A world ruled by the descendant of the Sith Philosophy himself. Now the human was well on the other side of the bar from the group, but he easily attracted their attention, the power radiating off of him a beacon to all force users.”

Terak paused, to gesture for a refill, while all in the bar listened attentively.

“Those other twelve had come for the sole purpose of meeting that human, whose name back then had been Nathaniel. Nathaniel approached the group, after feeling the power that radiated from them. When he reached them, they were talking about forging a great empire, one that would span galaxies, and would encompass all paths of the force. Years later the group came together again, this time as founders of an empire that spanned galaxies, and catered to all the species of the universe. It roared with life and power, a great constitution, and zillions of inhabitants.”

Again, a pause, as he looked around while sipping his scotch, at the crowd of wide-eyed people.

“The empire lasted for more than three billion years, and gained much power, and great enemies. Overtime, one of the founders, great Sith Emperor Darth Mandalore, one of the Massasi founders, faked his own death to step down from his position as emperor for fifty million years, deciding it was a time for new blood. An emperor never lasted for more than three years after several attempted assassinations. The enemies of the empire grew bold, and devised a plan to cause the fall of the empire from within. Over the course of fifteen years, a feud began between the members of the Path of the Sith and the Path of the Jedi, creating a great rift within the population of the empire. Five years later, the thirteen founders devised a plan to resurrect the empire, after the war with the Vong, that the Force Seers had seen would come.”

“The Thirteen Founders built a hidden mesh of tombs on the world of Korriban, hidden beneath a massive shield made of the force that would convince all machines and organic beings that there was nothing there. Then they constructed a massive step pyramid in the center of a circle of thirteen tombs, each tomb being the place one of the thirteen would be buried. From the center pyramid, tubes stretched out to the thirteen tombs. The pyramid was a machine, which would absorb residual dark energies from throughout the universe, and collect it into fourteen vats, one for each founder, and one for the main resurrection. The machines purpose was to pump the dark energy into the preserved bodies of the founders, and send a surge of force lightning into their bodies bringing them back to life. The fleets and armies of the Most Ancient Sith Empire vanished, hiding in stasis, hidden amongst the stars, waiting for the founders return. Three years later, the thirteen founders died, and their bodies were preserved and laid to rest within their hidden tombs. Five hundred years later the empire fell, a slow crumble into darkness, which also brought about their enemies downfall, as the empire was the center of civilization, and the fall brought all to the stone age as its technologies died all throughout the universe.”

“What happened next is another story for another time. But I hope this story gave you what you wanted, Barman.”

“Yeah, it did.” Xander responded, staring at the Sith impressed at the magnitude of his existence. “To get back to where you want to be, just go right back into the broom closet and it should take you back.”

“Thank you, barman. I must say this was quite the eventful and relaxing night.” As he turned to leave, he paused and set something down on the counter. “For you barman, may we someday meet again.” With a grim smile, Terak swept from the room, vanishing into the broom closet with a gentle flutter of his coat.

Looking down, Xander saw the odd skull-like mask the man had been wearing when he entered. The sculptured and intimidating mask was adorned with a red streak running down its middle, looking for all the gods like a “T” across the face, and sharpened teeth sprouting from the skulls half mouth. With a smile, he placed the mask upon the wall, right below Methos’s sword. Just another night at Nights.

AN: All are free to use Terak for something else. Maybe blend him in with Vader or Luke or something. If you want to find the names of the other twelve founders, just go to

The End

You have reached the end of "Even The Dead Speak". This story is complete.

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