Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, have no claim on either Buffy: The Vampire Slayer or Stargate SG-1. They belong to their respective creators.
“Whatcha reading, Xand?” Buffy asked as she entered the study with a plate piled high with sandwiches. After placing the plate on the coffee table in front of her Xander-shaped friend, she sat down beside him on the leather couch. “Is it from Giles? Is it another assignment because if it is he promised to stop being all James Bondsey and just call us.” She babbled.
“I can safely say that this is not
from the G-man.” Xander replied without looking away from the papers he was reading. “Unless Giles has changed his name to State of New York without telling us.” Transferring the papers to one hand he used his, now, free hand to snag a sandwich.
Buffy seriously considered the notion for a brief second then shook her head. “Nawh, Giles doesn’t like America enough to name himself after one of its states.” She leaned closer to her friend, trying to get a glimpse of the papers. “So...the State of New York just wanted to say hi or what? Or is it about the towels you stole from the New York Hilton the last time we were there? I told you they could track them down!”
Xander finished the turkey sandwich in two bites, he was really hungry. “It isn’t about the towels. Why must you always bring that up? You stole a robe, did it ever occur to you that they could, maybe, track it as well? Hm?” He shook his head at having been drawn into her little world. “Anyways, the State of New York isn’t writing me. It’s from a woman by the name of Mary Jentry from Children Protective Services located in New York City. Apparently she just got promoted and was cleaning out the office of her predecessor when she stumbled upon a number of documents pertaining to yours truly.”
“Pertaining to you? Like you have a kid or something?” Buffy asked, uncertain Could her best friend have a kid and not even know it? Better yet, how could he have a kid and she
not know about it?
“Ah, no.” Xander shook his head, more than once to prove his point. “No little Xanders running around out there unclaimed. Actually, she sent me a copy of one of the documents.” He passed the page in question to her. “Can you tell me what that looks like to you, college girl?”
Buffy took the offered page and glared at him. “Never gonna let me live that down are you?” She moved her eyes to the paper and skimmed over it. “Well, it appears to be your birth certificate.” She paused. “Why would she have your birth certificate?”
Xander grinned. “Of course not. It’s not everyday that my best friend gets her college degree from Oxford. And by doing so makes her extremely average friends look below average.” He ignored her question for the moment and posed one of his own. “How’d she know where to find me?”
“Well before we left Cleveland and settled here in jolly old England we left our addresses at the post office, remember? It’s called a forwarding address so all she had to do was look up your name and bam
she knows where you live.” Buffy explained then switched topics. “My going to Oxford caused you to be below average? You must be way below since Willow also finished up there and
Dawn is currently attending along with Andrew.” She patted his arm. “You should be drooling and going poopoo in your trousers any day now, huh?”
“Yes, make fun of the poor one-eyed contractor slash watcher.” Xander pouted. “Did you just say trousers?” He asked once the entire conversation caught up to him. “I can’t help it that I somehow managed to surround myself with highly intelligent woman. Some men would kill to be in my shoes, you know?” He grumped.
Buffy rolled her eyes and looked back to the paper. “I’ve lived in England for three years, it’s only natural I picked up some of their words.” She shook the paper. “So again, why does this strange woman from New York have a copy of your birth certificate?” She looked more closely at the paper. “Your middle name is LaVelle?” She made a face but didn’t say anything else.
Xander frowned and laid the other papers onto the coffee table beside the plate of sandwiches. “Well, according to her, she has a copy because I’m adopted.”