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The Male Baby Sitter's Guide

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Summary: Kenyon Bennett gets more than he imagined when he offers to baby-sit for a cousin he never met. (And believe me from what Uncle Victor told him, Kenyon can imagine a lot)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Charmed > Conner-CenteredPrincessTaiFR13616,5680163,29928 Sep 0721 Oct 07Yes

Step One: Sarcasm ALWAYS Impresses The Mothers

Disclaimer: I don't own Connor nor do I own the Charmed Ones.

I know the time lines don't really match so I left it in the air to make it gel. Wyatt is born and Connor doesn't remember Angel and the others. Will he? I don't think I'll take it that far.

This is just the product of my need to spew out FFA's like a factory. I'm feeling helpful. Don't get used to it

This is so unedited and unbeta'd and was written in about twenty, thirty minutes? By a REALLY tired college sophomore student that is getting sicker by the minute. Fell sympathetic? Good review.
Or else.

Oh yeah ... enjoy :-)

*sniffles and blows nose*


"I don't know ..." The eldest Halliwell, tucked back her mahogany brown hair behind her ear as she regarded her sisters and her husband with a dubious expression. Dubious was an expression that was familiar on Piper Halliwell's face since she was a girl in pigtails arguing with her devious older sister.

"Piper ..." Leo, her husband, sighed in that way of his. Demon activity had been in an all time low and their therapist recommended their spending more time together. If there was ever a time to do so it was now. He had even made reservations. Out of town. They'd be gone for the weekend. And as much as he HATED leaving his son alone ... BUT Phoebe and Paige could handle it, and while they were at work they'd hired a babysitter. One who could be trusted. He was NOT letting his lovely, but thoroughly neurotic, wife think up of some strange reason to get out of this. He was putting his foot down. Not that that ever worked much for him but now he had the support of both her younger sisters. He also had the support of her father and he wouldn't be surprised if he had the support of the Elders or the demon world. Because a stressed, and snappy Piper was not a happy Piper. Nor a tolerable one.

Paige picked up the thread.
"Piper, Piper. Go out. Have fun.
What's there to know? You're young. You're in love. You have a sexy husband to spend that time with."

Leo shot Paige an amused look.

"What? You are. I'm probably going to need therapy for even thinking it." The youngest Halliwell scrunched up her features and made an 'ewww' face. "But that's the penalty of the woefully unemployed and the painfully single. " Paige sighed, the sound took a slight turn to the melodramatic. "God, Piper if you don't go I will! Now excuse me while I go and beat my pathetic head against the wall ..."

"Getting back to the point." Phoebe laughed, gently and easily retracking the easily deterred Paige and simultaneously soothing the easily agitated Piper, she wrapped arm around her older sister to reassure her. "Paige is right, honey."


"Don't get used to it."
Piper says dryly, but she is smirking slightly.

Paige gave another exaggerated sigh.

"Trying to make a point here!"

Paige and Piper shared a laughing look.

Leo couldn't help but smile. So was the way of the Halliwell Sisters. If he hadn't known them all so well he would wonder how they got anything done.

"If you must." Paige sighed dramatically.

"Yes, go on under-respected middle child."

"You know what-"


Now it was Phoebe and Paige's turn to share a look.

"Okay, no. But I do see your point. Fine. I'll ... go.
Have fun. I just. There is so much going on. P3 has so many shows booked in this month."

"Unemployed pathetic one handling it."

"We have therapy."

"It was his suggestion Piper."
Leo points out.


"Sweetie, only gone for a weekend."

"Yeah, it's not like the house will burn down while you're gone."

Leo and Phoebe leveled Paige with a glare.

"Don't," Piper not so playfully smacked her youngest sister on the arm. "joke like that.
That's just the thing to make me change my mind."

"You would have had to make a set decision to, you know, change your mind." Paige said as she rubbed her arm.

"Don't get sassy missy. And I have .... made a set decision."

Everyone let out a sigh of relief.

Piper narrowed her eyes.
"It's just ... What kind of name is Kenyon?"

"As good of a name as Piper I imagine."

"Kenyon, nice to finally meet you."
Phoebe said with a friendly smile stemming whatever cutting, snippy comment her sister was going to make.

The lanky-ish boy flashed her a brief and short smile before nodding.
"You too. Uncle Victor has told me so much about you Phoebe. As in everything."

"Great dad, tell the world why don't you?"
Piper muttered to herself lowly.

Kenyon smirked slightly before shrugging.
"He thought it would be good to know, just in case a demon popped up or something."

"Why? Planning on inviting any over?"

"Okaaaay, Captain Paranoia." Paige muttered before glaring at her sister.
"Shouldn't you be packing and NOT playing twenty questions with your cousin."

"I just find it odd that I don't remember that Uncle Richie had a third son."

"Well, ya didn't know that mom had another daughter but hey look at me!"
Knowing that her callous comment would have the affect she wanted, distracting the shark from fresh blood, Paige said. "I doubt Victor would send anyone unreliable to watch Wyatt."

"Of course not because, I wouldn't invite demons I'd have a magical seance to resurrect a zombie to eat his baby brains."

Leo's brows shot up as did his wife's.

Paige looked like she didn't know whether if she should throttle the kid or laugh.

"He didn't mean that Piper, he was joking."
Pheobe said quickly with a wide, exaggerated grin before turning to look back at Kenyon.
He WAS joking. Right?

Kenyon just raised his brow,
"Ooogly Boogly."

Piper's own hiked higher as she tilted her head.
"Huh. Cute. Not at all funny but cute none the less. Nice sarcastic bite too.
Okay, you're hired. But if I find one chalked up pentagram on my clean walls your butt is vanquished. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am." Kenyon let out a mental breath. Uncle Victor had told him the only way to get Piper's acceptance was to be straightforward or witty, best if both. And he'd wanted this job. It paid well and he was mildly curious about cousins he'd never met. Hot older cousins he'd never met. He'd always liked them older. Not to mention brunettes. Kenyon mentally frowned at that thought, as his mind flashed to his younger BLONDE girlfriend. No, he so did not like older brunette women. And, point to be made ... DEFINATELY not cousins. Yeah, okay. He was going to need therapy when he went back to LA.

"Call me Piper, Kenny."

Kenyon, scowled a scowl that would rival Piper and Prue's. It made him look less of a girl, Piper thought with amusement. Yeah, she might like this one. "Don't call me Kenny. Pip."

Piper frowned. Or maybe not.
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