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The Art of the Blonde Moment

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Summary: Buffy should really just learn to say no. (FFA entry) Now with fanart.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Gilmore Girls(Recent Donor)BuffyCharmedFR1322,065094,3463 Oct 072 Dec 07Yes

Chapter One

Author's Note: This is a contribution to the FFA's. Please review so I know if it's any good. No flames.

Disclaimer: I own zilch. Nada. Nothing.

Sometimes Buffy really wondered how she managed to get herself into these situations.

Honestly, you’d think after spending most of her adolescent life onward right smack dab on the mouth of hell and managing to outwit death twice, she’d have some sort of insight to keep her from doing things that constantly prove that the number of brain cells she has is directly related to the color of her hair. As it turns out, however, there’s no such radar, and apparently she was as good at sensing her own imminent catastrophe as she was at sensing vampires when Giles first tested her skills at the Bronze.

Like now, for instance.

It wasn’t like it was a big job or anything. Simple, really. All Buffy had to do was find a newly awakened vampire slayer via Willow’s tracking spell, and explain to said girl that she was now one of the chosen few- or many, as the case may be- and that going to the council would provide her with a watcher and the proper training she’d need to defeat evil. Okay, so maybe not simple, per say. But after tracking down so many young girls, Buffy was proud to say she’d gotten pretty good at explaining the situation effectively. Needless to say, she jumped at the chance.

Of course, this had absolutely nothing to do with the implied vacation from head Slayer and the accommodations she’d receive for her travels. Not at all. Really.

So, after asking Willow about the location and making arrangements with her watcher for the private jet (okay, so maybe she kind of liked the lap of luxury), Buffy set off to her destination, relaxing in the comfortable leather seat and sipping a glass of soda instead of the wine she was offered; Buffy and alcohol continued to remain decidedly un-mixy. Yes, this would be an excellent day off.

Or so she thought.

Because the moment that Buffy Summers stepped into Stars Hollow, things just went to hell in a hand basket from there.

And it was all thanks to one Lorelai Gilmore.

She found out only once she’d arrived that the newly arisen slayer happened to be the daughter of this quirky woman, and further that her stay would be none other than the inn that said mother ran.

Now normally, she wouldn’t have a problem with this. In fact, when she’d entered the inn and discovered the last name Gilmore attacked to Lorelai, as well as her talking a mile a minute, including the name Rory at points in the conversation, she’d practically been relieved. After all, having to go through an entire town trying to find one person and in the process making yourself suspicious wasn’t exactly an experience she’d been all that thrilled to go through again. It was through the snippets of conversation that Buffy caught on that her daughter was currently at school in Yale and wouldn’t be home to visit until a few days.

Buffy had on various occasions tried to explain to a parent without their child present that they were mystical warriors chosen to fight the forces of darkness. Yeah. Didn’t go so well. Without Rory there to confirm her newly acquired strength she couldn’t very well prove it, and by the time she got home, Lorelai could just throw her out and never tell Rory a thing, either thinking her crazy or refusing to accept the truth. Sure Lorelai didn’t really seem the type, but then again Willow didn’t appear capable of hurting a fly none alone a human, and look what happened there. So in the inn, Buffy waited.

It was only half way through the day that she’d already gotten little Miss Lorelai suspicious.

Buffy was getting her things settled in her room, suddenly noticing the slightly ajar door revealing the curious brunette. Just as Buffy held a cross and a stake in hand. Managing to sputter some response about a hobby in woodcraft that she was sure she must have used sometime before, Buffy quickly shut and locked the door after the woman walked away, cursing her clumsiness, and continued to carefully conceal the rest of her weaponry with a slight hint of paranoia that hadn’t been there not a minute before the encounter.

The next night didn’t exactly help her case either. While barely avoiding the annoying little French man, Buffy had managed to narrowly escape to a cemetery where she’d hoped to burn off some steam. Wow, did that not go as planned. Buffy didn’t think she’d ever been in a single town where she didn’t encounter at least one vampire while out on patrol, but nevertheless she came restless and a little more irritated than she thought she should be at the prospect of a night off. But she’d still get her excitement, because sure enough as soon as she reached the stairs, there stood not only Lorelai, but Sookie, the chef, as well. She told them she was on a walk as she still had jet lag and couldn’t sleep. Though they seemed satisfied enough and accepted the answer easily, she couldn’t help the persistent nagging feeling that they could have seen the shine of the blade revealed in her boot when her jeans shifted slightly as she walked up the stairs.

The next day, Buffy decided it would just be best if she stayed in her room without causing further suspicion. Besides, her paranoia had kept her from a sound sleep all night anyway.

It was that night that she almost blew it.

Figuring it would have to be safe enough to at least get some fresh air, Buffy decided to throw some sweats on and venture through the town like she told Lorelai she’d already done. She hadn’t been in this small a town since Sunnydale, and despite the lack of an imminent threat of this demon or the other, it made her feel decidedly at home. She still brought her usual blade though, as even when no threat seemed viable, she’d learned not to take that type of chance. Going down the stairs, she ran straight into the source of her paranoia.

“Shit, are you okay?”

Taking the offered hand, Lorelai picked herself up and gave a slight laugh. “Oh, I’m fine. Wasn’t watching where I was going. You’re Buffy Summers, right?”

Slightly startled, Buffy said “Uh, yeah.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to sound stalkerish or anything. Not that I know what a stalker sounds like. I just remember you coming in and I didn’t see you at all today and you’re wondering why I’m babbling incoherently to a stranger, aren’t you?”

Surprised by the amused but easy smile brought forth by the same woman who caused her so much stress, Buffy gave a chuckle and waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it. You actually remind me of a good friend of mine. Babbled from the day she was born. I swear it’s infectious.”

Laughing herself, Lorelai smiled.

“Hey, what are you doing here anyway.” Good. Shift the gear away from yourself.

“Oh, well, I was working late and it’s cold outside and well, there’s an empty room..”


Oh. Shit.

So much for that plan. Jumping from the sudden sound, it was then that Lorelei looked towards the source of the interruption. From the lack of lights in the inn you couldn’t perfectly make out the perfectly crafted blade that had slipped through Buffy’s sleeve as she was distracted, but the outline and gleam reflecting off of it left no room for argument as to what the object was if you were an expert in weapons like the Slayer. Lorelai scrunched her eyebrows.

“Hey, what’s-”


Heads whipped around at the sound of another voice and the rest of the lights flicked on at the same time. Not ten feet away was the picture image of her mother, Rory Gilmore.

“Rory! I thought you said you wouldn’t be here for a few days..” Hugging her daughter, Lorelai missed the sudden movement of Buffy retrieving and hiding the weapon within her person.

Luck. Damn, if that wasn’t dumb luck.

“I know, I know. But I left a little early. I have some things to talk about, but I need a little sleep first.”

“Totally understandable.”

Scrunching her face slightly in thought, Rory asked “Hey, were you talking to someone?”

Remembering her guest, Lorelai said “Oh, yeah! Hey Buffy, I want you to meet-”

Turning around, she expected to see blonde hair, but instead there was only air.

“- my daughter….”

So lucky, Buffy thought again. So damned lucky.

Here she was constantly berating the mini slayers for acting irresponsibly, and she’d just acted like she hadn’t had her powers for a minute. Only she could forget about a weapon like that.

On the bright side, the daughter was here. Thank God the daughter was here, or she would have totally been caught red handed. Only the first thought to enter the mother’s brain probably wouldn’t be that she was a champion working for the Powers That Be, and the shiny weapon was used to defeat evil.

Sighing, Buffy knew that tomorrow had to be the day. Then, when this was all over, she’d take an actual vacation.

"A Slayer?"

"Yeah huh"

"A vampire slayer?"

"Yes, we've been over this."

" A vampire slayer."

Buffy sighed, dropping her head in her hands. Sometimes this part really sucked the big one. After a very long explanation, complete with demonstration of her abilities, she'd gone all out trying to make her story believable.

"Look, believe me, I know how ridiculous I sound. I've given this speech so many times I've memorized it, obviously. I know what I'm talking about. If you don't believe me, I can phone up the president and confirm my story. My organization is real. Have a card and everything."

Seeing the looks on their faces, Buffy knew she was getting them. Not only that, she sensed something she'd noticed with a lot of families and she knew when she saw their eyes what their worries were.

Eyes softening, Buffy spoke in a calm voice. "I know"

They were quickly startled out of their thoughts and looked the blond in the eyes, questioning her own inner thoughts.

"I know what you're feeling," Buffy continued. " When I was sixteen, my watcher told me that I was the Slayer. Said I was the 'chosen one'. Questioned his sanity so much you wouldn't believe I could give this whole speech. I was shocked, I denied it, I refused and fussed and fought it the whole time I almost convinced myself he was crazy. I couldn't believe it. Why would I be chosen to save the world? I wasn't special. I shouldn't get the sole responsibility. But somehow, with the help of my friends, I made it, got here. You know what the difference is? Between then and now?"

Invested in her story, Lorelai clutching her daughter's hand, Rory looked directly into her emerald orbs. "What?"

Buffy looked unswervingly back at her. "You're not alone. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of other girls just like you, in the same situation, who can help you. You have a choice. You can fight or not. It's not for some old men who tried to save their own asses to decide. You decide."

"Who wants Chinese?"

Startled, Buffy switched her attention to the older brunette. "Huh. I'm sorry, I mean... Huh?"

"Chinese, you hungry?"

Now Rory was equally confused. " Mom?"

"Look, I'm in shock, my daughter is a Slayer, I'm damn hungry, and the only way I know how to deal right now is to eat myself into a coma. Like usual. So, who the hell wants Chinese?"

Rory was still in a shock of her own, but the blonder of the two knew what she was going through. Buffy spoke first.

"I'll pay. In fact I'll order everything."

Lorelai smiled mischieviously. "Everything?"

"Slayer metoabolism. I could eat anything, anytime."

Linking arms, the older two went for the phone. "You know, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship." Lorelai paused "Did you have a knife at the inn?"

"Naw. A blade. So pretty. My watcher got it for me for my birthday."


Taking out a complete menu of the local Chinese food place, the two were oblivious to the completely dumbfounded look on Rory's face.
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