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Would You Like a Stake Through the Heart with That

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This story is No. 12 in the series "Answered FFA Ficlets & Drabbles". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Now he doesn't have to worry about hiring security when his newly hired blonde server can act as both Waitress and Bouncer...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Gilmore GirlsPhoenixRaeFR131559042,9647 Oct 077 Oct 07Yes
Disclaimer:  I'm just borrowing these characters from their respective creators.  No money's been made off by writing this, just satisfying a nagging plot bunny, that's all.

FFA Pairing:  Buffy Summers / Luke Dane (Gilmore Girls)

Summary:  Now he doesn't have to worry about hiring security when his newly hired blonde server can act as both Waitress and Bouncer...

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Would You Like a Stake Through the Heart with That?
by PhoenixRae

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LUKE WATCHED -- ALONG WITH the rest of Stars Hollow's residents -- in awed disbelief while his petite blonde newly hired server tossed, kicked and ninja-chopped a couple of the bullies that walked in to his diner during the dinner rush hour and started terrorizing his customers.

        Buffy Summers was the unfortunate one to have to serve their table and after she has had enough of them copping a feel of her behind, she slammed her notepad and pencil down hard on the table, grabbed both losers by the collar of their shirts and smashed their face together.  She was having an ongoing conversation with the two losers she was beating to a pulp as if that was the norm for her.

        Luke was yelling out warnings to not thrash his place too much, but it was no use.  Everyone at the diner moved towards the counter and away from where the main fight was happening.  He nearly clobbered one of the guys when Luke saw him smash one of his wooden chairs on Buffy, but to his and everyone's surprise, Buffy didn't flinch much and instead grabbed another chair with one hand and hurtled it at her assailant while maintaining a close eye on the other fellow.

        It was a flurry of punches, kicks and more of the diner's furniture being thrown around before Luke and the rest of Stars Hollow's population trapped inside his establishment watched the blonde server break a chair leg in two, spun it in her hands before ramming both pointy ends into her two assailants' chest.  Every one was rendered speechless still when both men burst into tiny dusty particles once they were staked.

        Buffy stood amidst the chaos, flinching when she realized the actual damage her rumble with the two troublesome vamps caused Luke's Diner.  She dusted some of the vamp residue off her uniform and turned to face the crowd of stunned patrons -- as well as her employer.

        Ignoring everyone else who were staring at her, she crossed the space between her and her employer.  Luke looked like he was about ready to burst, yelling at her for wrecking his place and if Buffy wasn't mistaken, he was at the brink of firing her.  But she couldn't afford that.  Not yet, anyway.  She needed to stick around Stars Hollow and find out exactly where a coven of vamps were hiding and pulverize them before returning back to Ohio.

        "Vamps," Buffy said before Luke could open his mouth.  "Nasty buggers.  Good thing they just burst into dust particles.  Imagine having to explain to authorities the bodies, huh?" She was chattering casually, like doing this was a part of her every day living.

        Luke looked at her with round eyes, his hands clutching his head encased in his trademark backward baseball cap.


        "Just take it off my paycheck," she waved before walking around her stunned boss and through a throng of equally stunned patrons to hide in the kitchen.  She'll probably have to make something to eat for herself since fighting those vamps took a helluva lot out of her.

The End

You have reached the end of "Would You Like a Stake Through the Heart with That". This story is complete.

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