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Road Trippin'

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Summary: Xander goes on his road trip. And it goes... awry.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Xander-Centered > Theme: Road Trip
Marvel Universe > Avengers > Xander-Centered
Marvel Universe > X-Men > Xander-Centered
IrnBruOrDeathFR18710,39156758,53211 Oct 0721 Aug 09No

In which It Starts

In Which It Starts

Summary: Yet another “Xander's' road trip goes awry” fic.. Also a BTVS/ATS/X-Men crossover
Spoilers: None that I can think of.
Disclaimer: All recognisable characters belong to their creators. Of which I am not one, as my bank balance will attest.

It had all been going so well. Was Xander's thought as he trudged gloomily towards his Motel. The Mayor had gone Kerblooey, most of them had survived, and he'd started off on the road trip he'd been planning since he'd been old enough to realise that there were places outside the Sunnydale city limits.

He'd been chuntering along in the Chevy he'd bought from his Uncle Rory, that he'd privately dubbed 'Carzilla: The Great Gas Guzzling Zombie Killer', when the engine had fallen out. A mile away from Oxnard. So much for the Great Road trip of America!

Which was how he'd found himself in his current predicament. The mechanic had hemmed and hawed over Zilla for 15 minutes then announced that not only would they have to order a part that wouldn't arrive for 2 weeks, but it would also cost $500. Which was 350 dollars more than Xander had after buying the car in the first place. The same mechanic had then pointed him to 'The Fabulous Ladies Club' wherein he would find the only employment available in Oxnard.

And so it was he spent the next 10 days washing dishes and very deliberately not looking out at the gyrations on the stage. On the upside he had made friends with the temporary barmaid Murphy McLean. A Scottish Gap Year student hitch-hiking round the USA who was working at the club to earn the bus fare to the next city. Xander had quickly become friends with the cheerful girl and they had agreed to split expenses and travel together for a time.

Many of the staff and patrons had remarked on how similar, in looks and personality, the two were. Both had wavy dark hair, though Xander himself wasn't in the habit of wearing his in a braid that fell past his waist. They were both tall, tanned and brown eyed. They also had a similar sense of humour. Sarcastic to the point of cutting.

However, Xander returned to himself as he looked at a giggling Murphy out of the corner of his eye, he didn't think he would ever see what she found so funny about tonight! The club was short staffed with three dancers calling in with the flu. This usually wouldn't have bothered Xander who had been happily scrubbing away in the small Kitchen minding his own business when Tally ( the tattooed, chain smoking, she-male owner of the “Fabulous Ladies”) had teetered into his domain on his/her glittery silver platforms and somehow teetered back out having convinced Xander to fill in one of the acts.

Murphy had started smirking as soon as he had appeared in his oh-so-classy Cop costume. Snorted when the first strains of Hawaii 5-0 had sounded. Then had collapsed into hysterics when he'd revealed the shiny purple thong under the Velcro-d trousers. He still wasn't sure what was worse: Murph's hilarity or the ravenous reaction of the punters. Not all of whom were female. He was determined however that this was a story never to be shared with the gang when he returned to the 'Dale.

He looked forward once more, noting that they were nearly at the Motel. He let out a heavy sigh of relief at the thought of the bed and pillow waiting for him.

“For why the heavy sigh Sandy-boy?” Murphy asked, voice husky with a combination of the smoky atmosphere of the club and the roaring laughter.

“Just glad the night's over Murph.” He replied. “Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to walk around wearing underwear that is designed to ride up your ass?”

“Not really. Best solution to no knicker-line is no knickers!”

“EW! TMI!”

“I dunno kid.” A strange voice interrupted from the darkness. “seems just enough information to me. What do you think boys?”

Xander and Murphy whirled in unison to see three vampires in full game face leering at them. Xander's hand went to the stake in the waist of his jeans while the other grasped the crucifix in his jacket pocket. He noted Murphy moving slightly to the side so he would have more room to manoeuvre and pulling out her own stake as well as a small hip-flask that he knew would contain Holy Water. Even as his mind raced calculating the odds and the best way to get them both out of this alive a small part cast back to a few days before when he had finally gathered the courage to tell Murphy the truth about the night. And then his complete astonishment when her only reaction was a squinty look and a 'Christ Sandy! Who ya think yer tellin' ?' Apparently the British weren't as oblivious about things demonic as the rest of the world. Which come to think of it shouldn't be all that surprising since the Watchers Council was based in Britain.

“I don't see any panty-line. Do you Jim-Bob?” The vampire on the right piped up as they moved in on the prey.

“Not a bit Frank. Guess we'll just have to check.” The one on the left replied.

“Yeah. Dinner and a show!” The leader in the middle said leering at Murphy while licking his lips.

“ICK! No' likely!” Murphy sneered right back. “I feel a sudden an' prolonged spate of lesbianism comin' oan.”

“You'll change your mind babe. It'll be the best for the rest of your life. All 2 minutes of it!”

“2 minutes? That's all? Dude, i so wouldn't boast.” Xander quipped, tightening his grip on his stake and adopting a fighting stance.

“Hey! You can't speak to Marvin that way!” Jim-Bob snarled.

“Yeah!” Frank growled. “ Guess we're gonna have to teach you some manners before we kill you meat.” and with that the Vampires attacked.

Xander found himself the recipient of Jim-Bob and Frank's ire. Apparently not having liked the aspersions on their leader Marvin the Vampire's prowess. He knocked Frank to the ground with a crucifix wielding fist to the face and hard swipe to the back of his knees. Jim-Bob made his job easy by barrelling forward as he rose to his full height and ran straight onto the tip of Xander’s stake.

“Jim-Bob! NOOOOOOO!” Frank howled as he leapt snarling to his feet. “I'll kill you meat!”

“Bring it bitch!” Xander returned. “Hopefully you'll be more of a challenge than your boyfriend was!”

The vampire howled, leaping tat Xander who used the Vamp's own momentum to send him crashing into the wall. A handy trick when Xander himself wasn't on the receiving end. He glanced over to see how Murphy was doing. Marvin had her pinned to the wall, her bottle of Holy water having been knocked from her hands and the one holding her stake pinned in the Vampire's hand above her head. Xander moved to help when he was hit in the stomach by what felt like a cannonball. Frank recovered quickly it seemed.

Marvin leered down at Murphy as she squirmed against him trying to get out of his grasp. He looked over his shoulder to see Frank tackle the other human to the ground and dive for the idiot's neck No problems there then. He turned back to the loud-mouthed little bitch who was glaring at him mutinously.

“Not so mouthy now are you bitch?” he sneered as he put his full weight against her. She was quite a looker really. All nice and soft. And the scent of her blood was intoxicating. He might just keep her after he had had his fun. It was about time he had a childe of his own he decided ad he leaned forward to bite. He hesitated when he saw the girl smirk with s nasty gleam in her eye. Then he screamed in agony as she spat a stream of Holy water right into his face. He reared back tearing at his face as the skin began to bubble and smoke. His eyes were melting!

The last words Marvin the Vampire ever heard before a stabbing pain in his chest ended his existence were:

“How's that fur mouthy ya Wanker?” Murphy gloated as the dust swirled in the air. She walked over to Xander and offered him a hand up from were he lay on the pavement. Apparently Frank hadn't learned from Jim-Bob that running or throwing oneself chest first onto a stake was a bad thing.

“That was bracing!” the boy said as he pulled himself up. “Y'know the Vamps outside of Sunnydale just aren't all that much of a challenge.”

“Prolly cause.... ARRRRRGH!”

Both teens screamed as they were hit with matching bolts of electric energy. Neither saw their assailants as they fell insensate to the ground. The black clad men walked to where their targets had fallen. One of them activated the radio clipped to the shoulder of his uniform.

“Team Alpha to Base. Targets acquired.”

“Base receiving. Advise you return quickly Team Alpha. Unknown whether targets have active powers.”

“Acknowledged. On our way. Team Alpha out.” He deactivated the radio and turned too his companion. “Bag and tag them. Time these Freaks did some good for their country.”
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