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I Dream Of Cordy

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Summary: She was trapped, a genie in a bottle, and it was all Harmony Kendall's fault.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > I Dream of JeannieamusewithaviewFR1311,2662272,73313 Oct 0713 Oct 07Yes
Disclaimer: I own neither nothing from BtVS, nor do I own anything related to 'Jeannie.' Ah well, such is life.

A/N: Another little bit of mischief on my part, because I was bored.

▬§▬

Cordelia woke up slowly. Her eyelids fluttering a little as her jaw cracked with a particularly enthusiastic yawn. She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept this well.

Sitting up, her eyes widened in shock as she took in her surroundings. Brilliant purple walls glimmering in the sun, posh shag carpeting of the same near-fluorescent hue covering the ground...

Her fingernails - manicured and painted the same eye-popping shade as the rest of the room - plucked desperately at the silky sheets against her palms, and she felt a cold sweat break out across her exposed skin.

Every inch of her exposed skin, and there was quite a lot of it. From the belly-baring tube top to the sheer legs of her harem-girl pants, every hair on her body stood out as she began to shiver uncontrollably. Cordy brought her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms about her legs as she began to shake.

Her eyes wide and unseeing, she didn't even flinch as a foot proportionally the size of a large van, crashed down beside her purple prison before moving on down the sidewalk. Fingernails digging into her legs until they drew blood, she recalled exactly what had brought her to this situation.

She was trapped, a genie in a bottle, and it was all Harmony Kendall's fault.

▬§▬

A few weeks earlier...

Her blue eyes were deceptively innocent, "My mother's had it on layaway for a year, you understand, don't you Cor?"

The brunette resisted the urge to grind her teeth at the sound of the ridiculous nickname. 'Cor' was the name of a boy from a kid's book, what you called the center of the earth; it was not an acceptable affectionate shortening of the properly dignified name, 'Cordelia.'

Of course what was really making her mad wasn't the nickname. Ok, the nickname did make her kind of angry. What really got her goat was the ditz's previous sentence, the one where the blonde tramp had told her that she was going as a tiger for Halloween: thereby completely ruining Cordelia's own plans to masquerade as a super-sexy jungle kitty.

"It's fine, Harm. It's totally fine with me," she said, smiling with perfectly practiced fakery.

"Oh good," the blonde gushed with equal plasticity, "I just knew you'd understand."

Cordelia understood alright, she knew exactly what that little gleam in her rival's eye meant. But the brunette hadn't gotten to the top of the social heap by looking ahead towards the goal, she knew the dangers of daggers in the back - and she knew the opening steps of an attempted coup when she saw them.

She stifled the urge to roll her eyes, little tussles like this were what made High School interesting, but lately it had gotten so very dull. Another year of this before she could move on to bigger and better things, like college guys and acting lessons. And yet...

And yet it was all so routine, even the dangers of Sunnydale were getting repetitive. After all, how hard was it to lace a can of pepper spray with holy water? She had to face the facts, she was getting bored, crushing Harmony's little dreams of becoming the Queen was just not doing it for her anymore.

'Oh well,' Cordy thought, 'Maybe I'm just getting more mature.' Smiling at this possibility - a look which caused a hapless freshman boy to walk into a wall of lockers - she made plans to head out to browse the costume shops.

Even if Harm's machinations were getting monotonous, shopping was still one thing she could do to alleviate a little stress.

▬§▬

Partytown was packed with little kiddies and Snyder's latest unwilling recruits getting their last-minute costume shopping done. Cordelia sneered at the plebian costumes before gunning her car past the department-store-reject merchandise.

Wasn't there supposed to be some other place somewhere around here? Ethan's?

The store was small and very crowded with stuff, but it was all interesting and time spent shopping was never wasted. Cordelia browsed in peace for a few minutes, mentally comparing prices of some of her more favored options.

"May I help you?"

She barely looked up as what she assumed was a clerk approached, "Probably not, I'm not really quite sure what I'm looking for."

"Possibly a Halloween costume?"

She did look up at that, sarcasm was something not often found in retail, a place where the customer is always right. The clerk was, as she soon saw, wearing a nametag that said 'Ethan'... which made him the proprietor. Interesting.

"Yes, I'm looking for a Halloween costume. I want something..." she shrugged, searching for the right words. "Classy, but sexy."

He brightened a bit, smiling a small secretive smile, "I have just the thing!" So saying, he led her to a rack towards the front of the store, one she'd passed on the way in. He slipped his hand between two Zorro costumes, deep into the heart of the circular rack, and pulled out a bright purple confection wrapped in protective plastic.

"A classic, one of the few good American sitcoms," he smiled fondly down at the bag."

"What is it?"

"A Jeannie costume from the television show, 'I Dream of Jeannie.'"

She looked at him blankly, and he sighed.

"Jeannie was a djinn, trapped in a bottle."

"Oh, you mean like Aladdin?"

His expression was mildly pained, "Yes, exactly."

Cordelia considered this for a moment before nodding, after all what did she have to lose?

"I'll take it."

▬§▬

Present day...

Frowning, Cordelia tried to remember more of what had happened last night, but all she could recall was a distant feeling that the 'Master' must be annoyed at her... Taking a deep breath, she tried to recall what she knew of the television show:

1. Genie in bottle

2. When released, Genie granted wishes

3. Formed relationship with 'Master,' who freed and aided her

Cordelia snorted to herself, she seriously doubted that any real man would pass up the chance to have a metaphysical babe be at his constant beck and call for the rest of his life. She was screwed, she was trapped in this damned bottle until someone released her, and then she'd be at their constant whim for the rest of her life...

On the plus side, at least she wouldn't have to finish out her last year of High School. It wasn't as if genies needed a diploma on their resume, for that matter she didn't even need a resume!

Suddenly a rather nasty thought occurred to Cordelia, with her gone, who could oppose Harmony? Aura was too much of a sheep, and the rest of the Cordettes were even worse. The brunette ground her teeth at the thought of the insipid blonde finally getting her way, and the throne, of Sunnydale High.

Some part of her wondered if it hadn't been all some grand scheme to get her out of the way... Nah, it was too clever, too Sunnydale-weird, to be some insane machination of Harmony's devising. No, this was all some cosmic accident, or maybe a joke. Somewhere way up there, god or the devil or someone was laughing at her.

She hoped they'd choke on their own spit.

▬§▬

A/N: I may or may not continue this, she'd hae to be found by someone military... so either Riley or someone from one of the Stargate shows would have to buy her bottle or something. Not sure, what think you?

Like it, love it, loathe it with the fiery intensity of a thousand hot suns? Lemme know!

The End

You have reached the end of "I Dream Of Cordy". This story is complete.

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