Chapter 2 and epilogue
"Dupree!, Von Pinn! Get over here! NOW!! !" Gil shouted
as the two linked up and began chasing the entire group of constructs
down the road.
"What isss going one here!?" Von Pinn hissed as the two obeyed
"Yeah, boss. I was having fun." Dupree added.
"We've got a situation." Agatha told them, "A lot of these constructs
are actually children. The shock rods change them back but we can't
keep them all safe here."
Von Pinn's hand flexed for a moment as she eyed the Heterodyne
heir. Then she glanced down at the frightened children around her.
"They must be protected."
"Den meybe hyu should be movink dem?" A voice came from the roof
The group looked up to see a trio of Jagermonsters crouching on the
roof above them. In front of them, a familiar feline form sat
"KROSP! BOYS!" Agatha smiled, then frowned, "Where were you?"
"Ve iz waking up in the middle of de roadz and not knowing where hyu
is." Oggie replied, "Den we iz hearing the booms and know vere is
boomz is hyu."
"Alonk the vay ve is meeting the kittykat." Dimo added. "and den ve
is finding hyu!"
"I woke up in, of all things, a trash container!" Krosp growled,
"At least there wasn't anything truly repugnant in there, just bits
and pieces of paper. I'm still trying to figure out what I was doing
in a costume shop."
"Costume!?" Both Gil and Agatha perked up at that.
"Yeah," Krosp nodded, "Not too far from here."
"So," Othar frowned, "We need somewhere to put these children while
we go and give the villian a sound thrashing."
"Who talks like that?" Agatha sighed, "But he's right. We need
"How about there." Andrew pointed towards a nearby house. 'It belongs
to Buffy's mom."
"All right." Agatha nodded, "Get all of the kids in there, now!
In a remarkably short time, they'd managed to get all of the kids
squared away inside the house and happily eating the candy provided
by scrounging through the amazingly advanced kitchen.
"We need more weaponry to deal with the non-child constructs."
Agatha frowned as she picked up a coffee pot. "I'm sure what we can
"What about that thing?" Gil asked, looking outside.
For several minutes, Gil, Othar and Agatha eyed the odd looking
carriage outside. Finally Gil asked Andrew, "Is that a self propelled
"Huh?" Andrew followed their gaze to Mrs. Summers' car. "Yeah, it's
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Gil asked the other two Sparks.
"We need tools." Agatha nodded.
"Lots of tools." Othar agreed.
As they spread out to search the house, Andrew eyed Cordelia Chase
and Harmony Kendall nervously. The two cheerleaders were dressed
as Dupree and Von Pinn respectively and either one was scary enough,
but having both of them there at the same time made Andrew almost
wish he was still outside. Then Harmony left to look after the
children, leaving him alone with Cordelia. Just as she was starting
to grin and walk towards him, Xander's voice rang out.
"Dupree, keep your hands off everyone!"
"Darn!" Cordelia/Dupree pouted and stomped off.
"Not bahd." Andrew almost screamed as Larry, dressed as the
Jagermonster Oggie, came up behind him. "I vas expecting hyu to
"You're not going to give me a wedgie are you?" Andrew asked
"Veji?" Larry looked puzzled, "Vas iz this Veji?"
"It's..." Andrew paused, and then hesitantly began explain the pain
that was a 'wedgie'."
"Ohh." Devon, dressed as Dimo, nodded, "Dot sounds like it hurtz."
"And hyu want us to do dis to hyu?" Daniel Osbourne/Maxim
asked. "Are hyu sure?"
"NO!" Andrew cringed away from them, "I was afraid he was going to do
that to me."
"Ah, now ve gets it." Larry nodded, "Don't worry kid, ve thinks you
did good not runnings from Dupree. She's scary."
"Ya, hyu one brave cookie." Devon nodded.
A couple of hours later, after driving the only none affected person
crazy with questions, the three sparks had finally taken apart the
Summers' car and about half of the gadgets inside the house and
turned them into one really nasty looking robot.
"Ready?" Gil asked.
"Yep," Agatha picked up a hastily cobbled together 'death
"Yep," Agatha picked up a hastily cobbled together gun and nodded
to the JagerMonters. "Let's go."
"Dupree, you're with us." Gil picked up a second gun, "Von pinn, I
want you to protect these children."
"Of courssse." Von Pinn nodded.
"What about me?" Andrew asked.
Gil tossed him a spare gun, "You stay here with Von Pinn and help her
protect the children."
"Okay." Andrew looked down at the gun and carefully put it out of
reach of the kids.
"Boss," Dupree asked as they walked down the street, "Exactly what's
the plan here?"
"We're going to find this costume shop and have a talk with the
proprietor and see if he's responsible for our being here."
"If he is," Gil continued, "You're going to hurt him until he tells
us how to send us back." Dupree actually gave Gil a hug as he told
"Not to break up this little hug fest," Krosp told everyone, "but
we've got company."
Everyone turned to several different types of constructs advancing
on them. In the lead was a blond almost human looking construct
wearing a black duster. The construct saw them and smiled, "Well this
is neat. Kill them."
As the constructs advanced, Agatha turned their new Clank. "Tok,
blast them please."
The huge construct, originally half hidden in shadow, stepped forward
and raised its large arms.
"Oh bugger." Spike managed before a wave of lightening hit the group.
As the wave passed over them, Spike felt like he'd grabbed a loose
wire. His entire body tingled, then the wave passed and he shook his
head to clear it. "Was that it!?"
"Yep," Gil nodded, "I'd say we dealt with about half your forces."
Spike looked around and was stunned to see that whatever they'd hit
him with had changed back all the transformed people. "Oh hell."
Now Gill smiled and turned to Dupree. "Only the non-humans got it?"
"No other restrictions?" Dupre asked eagerly.
"None." Gil agreed.
"YAH!!!" Dupree charged in grabbing one large homed construct
by the arm and somehow delivering a really nasty shock to the
creature, while at the same time running a second creature straight
through its chest. Right behind her, Zeetha the Warrior Princess
chopped through another pair of constructs without hesitation.
"What are you waiting for boys?" Agatha asked the Jagers. "Go save
"ARRRGH!!!" The Jagers charged in, gleefully slaughtering all of
non-humans in the group.
"Bloody hell." Spike's eyes widened as he ducked under the initial
attack. Seeing the weird looking guns being held by the Slayer and
her friends, he decided to exercise the better part of valor and dove
for a nearby manhole.
"That's the place!" Krosp pointed out Ethan's shop.
"Okay," Agatha turned to the Jagers, as she pulled the amplified
lightning device from the Clank, she told them. "Boys, you and Tok
keep the kids safe until we finish this."
"Hokay," Maxim nodded, 'Ve keeps them from getting the ouches."
"Good." Agatha waved at Othar, who kicked the door in with a grand
Ethan Raynes' face went absolutely white when the five people entered
his shop. "How?"
"I take it you're responsible for the chaos that's occurring out
there?" Gil asked.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Ethan began to back away.
"He's lying, boss." Dupre smiled, "Can I hurt him now?"
"Pull his fingers off." Gil agreed.
As Dupre closed with him, Ethan screeched, "Break the bust on the
stand!!! That'll end this!"
"You're kidding right?" Agatha eyed the two-faced bust skeptically,
"How can that end this?"
"It's pain time!" Dupre chuckled.
"Just break it!" Ethan scrambled through the door toe the back room,
followed closely by Dupre and Zeetha. "I swear it'll end the
"Can't hurt." Gil noted.
"I guess," Agatha held up her shock rod. "On three?"
"One," Gil held up his rod, "Two..."
"Three!" The two sparks struck the bust at the same time. Instead
of shattering the bust began to glow brightly, pulsing as it seemed
to draw energy from the artificial lightning.
"This doesn't bode well." Othar remarked.
"You think!?" Agatha asked as the bust finally shattered. A pulse
of light filled the room, and when it faded, Buffy Summers dropped
the now dead lightning device and screamed, "My moms going to kill
The next day, Rupert Giles listened in horror as Willow told him
about their 'enchanted evening'. "Dear lord... And, and what
exactly happened to this Ethan fellow?"
"Oh!" Willow frowned, "He got away when everyone was still
disoriented. We didn't look for him because Buffy was really upset
about her mom's car."
"The one they disassembled to make that... Clank?"
"Yeah," Willow nodded, "Buffy and Xander thought maybe they could
fix it, but I don't..."
Her voice trailed off as they entered the Library, there sitting
at one of the tables with her head cradled in her arms was a still
"Buffy?" Giles hurried over, worried about the girl. "Are you all
"My mom is going to kill me." Buffy muttered.
"Where's Xander?" Willow asked. "Didn't you put the car back the way
"We tried!" Buffy looked up from the desk, "But when we started
to put it back together, we couldn't help ourselves!"
"Oh dear." Giles said sympathetically "You didn't get it running
"Oh it runs G-man." Xander said from the upper level of the Library,
Giles and Willow looked up to see him carrying several science books.
"The only problem is that it goes three hundreds miles an hour and
"Oh my word." Giles began polishing his glasses, "You're still..."
"Yeah," Xander sighed, "We tried to keep it under control but it's...
Once we get an idea into our heads we can't help ourselves."
"MH SRRY BT UR TST" Buffy mumble from where she had gone back to
cradling her head in her arms.
"I'm... I'm sorry what did you say?" Giles asked.
"Uh," Xander looked hesitant, "We kinda got the idea that maybe we
should start reading some of the science books in case we needed
to build something out of modern parts..."
"AND?" Willow asked.
"We thought maybe some tea would help us relax?" Xander finished.
"I'm really sorry about you tea set." Buffy raised her head again.
"My?" Giles ran to his office. There was several seconds of silence
then, "DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN!!!!"
"On the plus side." Xander plopped the books down on the table, "It
does make a really good cup of tea."
Author's note: There's probably going to be a sequel to this. I've
got all these weird little scenes playing in my head of Buffy and
Xander critiquing Adam and Daryl Epps, or the Mayor ascending
to a giant snake and having a nearby mack truck suddenly turn into
an even bigger robot. Or, having Ted show up and Buffy pulling
out a bunch of screw drivers and trying to disassemble him. You get