Deciding that the sooner he told everyone the better it would be, he resigned himself to explaining everything to them the next night. ‘Trying to explain this to Buffy after a row would not be the best idea,’
he mused to himself, smiling slightly at his massive understatement.
The first thing he had to do of course was to explain it to Anya; he felt that he owed it for her to be the first one he told. He also selfishly thought that Anya would be the easiest sell; she had of course been a demon herself, so he didn’t think it was unreasonable for her to handle the news better than the rest of the group.
Boy, had he been wrong.
“You’re a *what
*!” she screamed at him after he had explained everything to her for the third time.
“I’m a Savox demon,” he repeated, trying desperately to remain calm.
“Why haven’t you ever told me before?” she all but growled, her anger clear to even the most obtuse of people.
“I didn’t think it would matter,” he replied, instantly regretting it when he saw her anger reach supernova proportions.
“You didn’t think it would *matter
*!! Are you out of your *mind
“Listen Anya, you’re the only person outside of my family that knows. I’m going to be telling the others, but I wanted you to be the first to know.”
“I don’t *care
*! We are in a relationship and we should tell each other everything about each other whether it would matter or *not
*! I told you all about my time as a Vengeance demon.”
Yes, how could he forget those wonderful conversations when she told him in *extreme
* detail about her Vengeance demon days where she would eviscerate or turn her victims inside out.
“I know you have Ahn, but apart from one small detail you know everything about me,” he responded, trying to explain.
“One small detail! You’re a fucking *demon
*!” she screamed.
“Could you talk a little louder,” he replied sarcastically, “I don’t think they heard you in Brazil.”
“You were supposed to be helping me come to terms with my humanity and you aren’t even *human
*! You are actually one of the most feared types of demon known and every other time I have met one of your kind, I was beaten to a pulp. How can that be considered a *little
* detail?” she asked, her tone clearly stating her disbelief about his viewpoint.
“Ahn, those demons you met before were not members of my clan. The Gnil’Sog clan are peaceful, mostly, and from my memories they’ve never encountered any Vengeance demons. The reason I consider my demonic status a small detail is that to me it is. I have never seen my being a demon as a factor in anything I do. Sometimes I forget that I am a demon, of course then I accidentally crush something…”
“You just don’t get it! I always thought I knew you and now I know that you are just like all the men I met before, a *liar
*! I’m leaving you and you better hope that I never get my powers back!”
Anya stormed off into their bedroom and began throwing her clothes into a large suitcase. Xander, more worried about her returning to her wish casting ways than he was about her leaving, tried to calm her down.
“Anya, I’m still the same Xander Harris you went to the prom with, the same Xander Harris you came back to Sunnydale for. I haven’t lied to you but I have kept something from you. I’m well aware how tiny the difference is, but there *is
* a difference. You’ll find that finding someone who will tell you every detail of their lives is rare in the extreme; most people like keeping a little something back that is all their own.
“If you want to leave me then I can’t stop you, nor would I want to if that’s truly what you want, but I never kept it from you to hurt you. Please don’t use this to get your powers back. One of the things you will need to know is that there are times when things wont go exactly how you want in life, but that in itself is a big part of living. I can’t tell you what to do, but can I at least ask you to think about it for a couple of days first please?”
Anya hadn’t stopped packing her bags during his little speech and had by now packed the majority of her things away, still having her own apartment. She hadn’t been ignoring Xander and had instead thought about what he was saying to her. She was still extremely angry with him, and knew that she could no longer be in a relationship with him, even if some of what he had said was the truth.
One thing she had held dear above anything else before during and after her stint as a demon was honesty. However she looked at it, Xander hadn’t been 100% honest with her, and she could not stay with someone who could not be completely open and true with her, like she was with him. She knew that he didn’t always like to hear about some of the things she had done, but to keep them from him would be to hide a part of her, and she would never be willing to do that.
When she had talked about getting her powers back, she had said it in the heat of the moment, and if he hadn’t have talked to her like he had she might well have gone and done it. Now though, she realised that she enjoyed being human, more than she ever had before she became Anyanka, and she wasn’t sure that she could return to the way of life that she had before losing her amulet.
While she could talk about the things she had done easily enough, she did feel remorse for some of the things she had done; she still believed that the men that she had hurt or killed deserved to be punished, but she no longer believed that they warranted the extremes that she had gone to when she had interpreted the women’s wishes.
She didn’t want to concede anything to him, but she knew that he would remain worried about what she might do if she said nothing, and despite everything she still cared about him.
“I will think about it,” she informed him brusquely as she closed the suitcase and carried it out of the bedroom towards the front door. She opened it but, before she left, she turned to him and smiled sadly. “I will miss the great sex with you Xander.”
Before Xander had a chance to say anything more, Anya walked out the door, closing it behind her. He went back into the bedroom and noticed that she had left her keys on the side table. Knowing that he had probably just seen Anya for the last time, he was in no mood to go through anything close to that again, but knew that if he didn’t now he might never pluck up enough courage to attempt it again.
He owed it to Dawn to do everything in his power to protect her and that is exactly what he would do, even though he had only known her for a few months. All Savox demons possess a high resistance to magic, which in his case meant that while he received all the memories that the monks had created, they did not overwrite his original memories of that time.
He initially thought that it was some attempt by an evil force to infiltrate an agent into their circle that no one would suspect as a mole, but that quickly went the first time he truly met her. In his opinion, no one evil could create such a pure soul as Dawn Summers, and if he had anything to say about it, no one evil will ever get their hands on her either.
His resolve reaffirmed, he went over to the phone and dialled the one person he could talk to without having to explain everything first. He really only wanted to explain it once more tonight, and that was when everyone was there.
“Hello, Rupert Giles speaking.”
“Hi Giles it’s Xander.”
“Ah, good evening Xander, is there something I can do for you?” he asked, curious as to why he would be calling him so late at night.
“There is actually, can you call the others and get them to come over to my apartment right away?”
“I can do that,” he replied after a pause, “but would you mind telling me why?”
“I have something to tell everyone, but I only want to do it once. You know that I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”
“I am aware of that Xander,” Giles replied warmly, ensuring that the young man knew that he knew it wasn’t some trifling topic that was to be discussed, “but Buffy and Willow will want more to go on than that.”
“I know Giles, which is why I can’t ring them myself. If I did they wouldn’t stop until they know and this is something that I need to tell everyone in person.”
“Fine,” Giles agreed with a sigh, knowing that he was going to be bombarded with questions from both Buffy and Willow, “I will arrange it Xander but I will be expecting a *full
* explanation once we get there.”
“Giles, I give you my word.”
“That is good enough for me. I’ll see you in half an hour then, give or take a few minutes.”
“Okay, bye Giles.”
Replacing the receiver, Xander looked around the apartment to see whether it was clean enough to hold guests, basically trying to find anything to keep his mind occupied. He knew that, because of the way they will be informed, neither Willow nor Buffy will be in the best of moods.
‘They probably won’t even say hello and get straight to interrogating me.’ He thought to himself, as he started finding things to do while waiting for everyone to arrive.