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Parent Trap

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Summary: YAHF - Xander shouldn't put costumes on his parents when they are sleeping

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Addams' Family, ThemisterqFR151220,4733830486,64927 Oct 0721 Sep 12Yes

Chapter One

standard disclaimers apply

Parent Trap

He should have known. He should have known that his idea would backfire. But the costume store proprietor, Ethan (May he be dragged into a icy Hell filled with Teletubbies) was offering a 'buy one, get two free' sale in the rummage bin. And Xander just couldn't pass up getting two free things with his plastic gun - especially when he saw the mustache and long black wig.

It seemed perfect. His parents were sleeping off a hangover when he was leaving for his school-mandated trick-or-treat extravaganza. He quietly slipped on the black wig onto his mother's head slowly as not to wake her, and applied the sticky mustache to his dad's face.

Then he left, almost giggling at the thought of each parent waking up and thinking in an alcohol fueled daze, that they were with someone other than their spouse. Sure, they may try to take it out on him later once they realize, but they tended to do that every day for everything anyways.

It was only after the spell ended and he went home did he discover the changes that took place. The first hint was the very sharp butcher's knife that suddenly embedded itself a hairsbreadth above his head just as he closed the front door.

"Now son," said Tony with a very real mustache, a striped suit, and a slight Spanish accent, "you simply must explain why it seems we live in a town full of vampires and demons..."

Xander started to sweat as his mother, now with permanent long black hair and a Gothic black dress, continued.

".. and have never once been out hunting as a family?" She aristocratically lifted up a crossbow that seemed far too big for someone of her size to effortlessly hold. "After all, a family that hunts together, stays together. Comprenez?"

Xander, horrified, turned to his father who was now staring at his mother with unabashed love in his eyes.

"Oh, Jessica!" he said, "I love it when you speak French!"

And as his father stared kissing his mother up and down the arm, a wide eyed Xander turned around and started beating his head against the wall in the hopes that some normality would return to his life.

"Great idea, son!" Tony cheerfully said in between kisses. "Toughen up that skull for when we take on that vampire nest tomorrow night!"

Just a oneshot (for now). Addams Family crossover, of course
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