Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Is your email address still valid?

Dressed For Success

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Story

This story is No. 2 in the series "Tales of the Scooby Pack". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: The Pack decide what kind of Halloween costumes they want to wear while escorting the children.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > General > Theme: Halloween
Stargate > General > General: SG-1
GreywizardFR1513,79715310,07830 Oct 0730 Oct 07Yes
Disclaimer: They all belong to Crack-Head Joss and ME and the real owners of the various characters referenced. Deal with it. I have.

Spoilers: None intended, but if you don’t know what happened up to this point, why are you reading this story?

Character Bashing: Nah. Not this time.

Feedback: Of course!

Archiving: Talk to me first, please.

Author’s Note 1: This is unbeta’d, so any and all mistakes are mine.

Author’s note 2: Remember, Dawn is only two years younger than Buffy in this AU.

As usual, “word” indicates speech, :: word :: indicates mental communication and { word } indicates a character's thoughts.

~~~

Title: Dressed For Success


Ethan's Costume Emporium
October 28, 1997

“Ooo! Ooo! Guys! I know exactly who we can go as!” Dawn announced enthusiastically as she led the way into the newly opened costume shop in search of costumes to meet the Troll’s edict that required them to escort groups of elementary school students Halloween evening. “And we’ll still be going as a themed group! You’re all gonna *love* this idea!”

“What, exactly, is this brilliant idea of yours, Dawn?” Buffy queried her sibling, a dubious look on her face as she and the other two members of their Pack followed the young brunette down the crowded aisles to the various racks of costumes arrayed across the walls.

“Okay, here we are,” the Key finally halted before one particular group of racks and gestured, á la Vanna White, towards the costumes hanging there. The older Scooby Pack members merely looked, first at the outfits on display, and then at the patiently waiting brunette, who was obviously expecting to be showered with compliments for her suggestion.

“What, we’re gonna go as the First Armored Division of the Army?” Xander asked, a quizzical expression on his face as he looked again at the racks of desert camouflage fatigue pants and blouses Dawn had indicated.

“No, Xan, we’re gonna be the G.I. Joe Force,” Buffy snorted derisively. “You can be Snake-eyes, Will can be Scarlet, I’ll be Lady Jaye, and Dawn can be Destro!” she suggested, eliciting a snort of amusement from both Willow and Xander at the various identities she had noted and a narrow-eyed glare from the younger Summers.

“Buffy, you’re acting even blonder than you usually do,” Dawn answered her sister’s jibe in an all-too-sweet voice. “Did you take too much of your medication this morning? Or just not enough?”

“Who was it you have in mind for us to go as, Dawn?” Willow chimed in before the sniping contest could escalate to a higher level of insults and slurs. “You obviously were thinking about some specific group for us to dress as.”

“Well, I thought we could be an AU version of the SG-1 team from the Stargate series,” the Key explained enthusiastically. “One where everything about the characters was reversed, so that Jack, Danny and Teal’c were women and Sam was a guy,” she elaborated.

“Admit it, it’s brilliant, isn’t it!?” she said, looking at her pack mates with an expectant expression – after all, genius should be recognized and acknowledged, right?

“Actually, that sounds like it could actually be a fun idea,” Xander said after a moment, the thoughtful look on his face as he considered the younger brunette’s suggestion matched by ones on the other two girls’ faces.

“You could be Captain Samuel Carter, Xand, Buffy could be Dr. Danielle Jackson, Willow could be Drey’auc, Teal’c's wife, and I’d be Col. Jacqueline O’Neil,” the Key enthused as she expanded on her proposal, seeing that the others at least seemed to be giving it some real consideration.

“How come I have to be Drey’auc?” Willow instantly protested once Dawn had finished her explanation.

“Well, we’ll all be going as the opposites of our real selves,” Dawn immediately replied. “Xander will be going as the super-genius astrophysicist, Buffy will be the hyper-intelligent uber-scholar and you’ll be the master warrior, see?”

“Yeah, and to make it all completely opposite, Dawn’ll be the charming and charismatic team leader,” Buffy snipped with a satisfied grin.

“Exactly,” Dawn eagerly nodded her agreement, before the full impact of Buffy’s comment sank in. “Hey!” she said indignantly a moment later.

“Let’s get busy and make sure we can all find the right sizes,” Xander broke in before war could be officially declared, and both of the Summers women reluctantly turned their attention to the matter of finding their correct sizes and locating the various items of equipment they were probably going to need.

Xander grinned to himself as he could hear, one aisle over, Andrew Wells and Jonathan Levinson in an impassioned argument over the suitability of each of their costumes.

“But I’m telling you, it’s the absolutely perfect costume for me, Jono,” Andrew was insisting. “He was almost exactly like me before he was chosen to receive the serum – well, except for the fact that I’m not 4-F because I’m not old enough for the service yet, and because there isn’t any military draft anymore, I’d guess you say.”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right about that, Andy,” Jonathan agreed. “And I’m thinking that carrying a dozen different sets of I.D. in my pockets should set up my character well enough to suit Principal Snyder.

“So, what you guys planning on going as?”

Willow turned and smiled at the tall brunette whom she had once considered her main nemesis in life, and who now become one of the Pack’s best friends.

“Hey Cordy. I think we’ve finally agreed to go as an alternate universe version of SG-1,” she answered, since Dawn and Buffy were currently embroiled in a minor argument over who would be dressing as the team leader. “Have you decided who you’re going to be dressing as?”

“Well, I was planning to get this absolutely fabulous cat suit I saw over at Party Town, but the one they tried to palm off on me had this rip in the left leg, you see, and they couldn’t get one to replace it in time,” Cordy complained

“So anyway, when I was talking with Marcie this afternoon and telling her about how nervy the people there were, she mentioned how she was just staying in and wasn’t doing anything tonight so I told she needed to come along with me when I take the group of ankle-biters the Troll assigned me,” she then went on.

“’Cause she definitely doesn’t need to be sitting alone in her room, by herself, all the time,” she declared, “and since I had to stop in here and get myself an outfit – ‘cause there isn’t anything at all worthwhile left at Party Town, you know – I told her that I’d pick up an outfit for her, too.”

“That’s very considerate of you,” Willow said, while marveling to herself at the changes the past few months had wrought in the former high school social diva.

For some reason none of the Pack members had been able to fathom at this point in time, Cordy had begun looking at the only-occasionally-visible girl as a compatriot, or possibly a younger sibling, and had begun spending increasing amounts of her time with her, to the point that she had talked Marcie into staying in one of the normally unoccupied but furnished rooms in the loft above the Chase family's garage.

So, the cheerleader’s volunteering to select a costume for the normally unseen member of their little demon fighting group was really no surprise.

“Well, I hope you can find something suitable for both of you, Cordy,” Willow said.

“Right now, I think I need to separate those two and go make them each stand in a corner,” she grinned as she indicated the two squabbling Summers sisters with a nod of her head

~~~

An overpowering wave of arcane energy surged through the town, emanating outward from the recently opened costume shop and all of the costumes that had been mystically enchanted to take advantage of the upcoming event greedily absorbed the power and then turned it upon their wearers, transforming them into whatever character, personage or being it was they had envisioned themselves as when selecting their costume.

~~~

Steve Rogers blinked and looked around, taking in the fact that he was no longer battling against a horde of Kang’s temporally-displaced minions and instead appeared to be in the suburbs of your typical American town.

Although the swarms of what looked to be some sort of either dwarf demons, animal-like mutants or various groups of subhumans indicated that, wherever it was he’d ended up, there were still various threats present menacing innocent people.

Heading directly towards the Sasquatch-like creature who was pursuing a screaming blonde-haired woman dressed in some sort of medieval gown, he slung his shield at the creature’s lower legs in an effort to take it off its feet and give him time enough to subdue it.

It didn’t matter where, or even when, he was – Captain America would never stand by idly and allow innocents to come to harm.

~~~

Jarod blinked and looked around, trying to take in what certainly appeared to be a rather abrupt shift in the reality surrounding him.

A moment ago, he was calmly walking through the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport, on his way to investigate – and if necessary, rectify – what appeared to be a rather horrendous miscarriage of justice and then, the next moment, he was standing in what looked to be your typical North American suburban neighborhood.

Although the typical North American suburban neighborhood he was familiar with from his study of the various sociological and psychological journals and studies he’d read most certainly did not include the presence of beings strongly resembling the various creatures that comprised a significant part of the various mythos forming the mostly unexplored human subconscious.

Seeing a group of small furry creatures that most strongly resembled the classic children’s teddy bear chasing several children – although he couldn’t for the life of him recall any depiction of a teddy bear carrying a flint-tipped spear – Jarod headed off at an angle intended to intercept the pseudo teddy bears before they caught up with the children, pulling his back leather belt out of the loops of his pants as he moved, deciding that it was the best makeshift, non-lethal weapon he could come up with at the moment.

After all, he didn’t have any way of determining the reasons the creatures might have for chasing the children, and there was no reason, at least at this point in time, to implement any lethal measures.

~~~

“Carter, where the hell are we, and how did we get here?” Col. O’Neil snapped as the four SG-1 team members abruptly found themselves standing in what appeared to be a small North American town.

“And how the hell did you get so young?” she added, as she turned around to look over her shoulders at her teammates and found herself apparently addressing a group of high school students.

“All of you,” she noted as she spared a moment to glance over at the rest of her team.

{ Oh, damn, } she thought as she caught the surprised looks on her teammates’ faces as they looked at her, and she reached up to feel the thick bun her hair was pulled into. { Whatever’s going on must have gotten me, too. My hair hasn’t been this long since high school. }

~~~

Jinx stared around her with suspicion, reflexively pulling both of her swords as she scanned the area for enemies while moving to stand back-to-back with the fatigue-clad beauty she found herself near.

“Allie? Do you have any idea why we’re suddenly standing in what looks to be some hick town and we’re not in Tokyo, like we were a minute ago?” she asked in a reasonable tone of voice while evaluating their surroundings as her teammate readied one of her collapsible javelins for action.

“No idea, Kimi,” the steely-eyed brunette (who typically answered to the name Lady Jaye) replied as she scanned her half of the area for any sign of a threat and came up empty of any sign of any organized enemy activity.

There was, however, plenty of crazy stuff going on, she noticed as several screaming children ran past her, pursued by what appeared to be a group of goblins out of a fairy tale.

“Non-lethal measures,” she directed her companion as she began heading towards the crowds of children fleeing in terror.

“At least, initially.”

~~~

“Carter! Why did that guy just turn to dust?" the Colonel barked with what she thought was admirable restraint.

"Ah, Ma'am... I have a theory but you're not gonna like it..." the dark-haired science geek/ assistant team leader acknowledged as he sorted through a dozen different potential theories that might explain the clearly anomalous event they’d all just witnessed

He trailed off at the look he was receiving from his superior officer.

"Carter, when have I ever liked one of your explanations?" was her retort.

"Ah... Never."

"Indeed."

~~~

The energy powering the spell which had transformed a significant portion of Sunnydale’s population into their costumes was abruptly disrupted when a somber and gloomy-looking man, dressed all in black, pale of face and with eyes cold as winter’s ice, kicked in the front door of the costume shop, advancing and repeating his action on the door to the rear office with the resolute and unwavering tread of the faithful come to confront the damned.

“Did you truly believe that I would stand back and permit you to mock the Lord Almighty by allowling you to practice your heretical, pagan rituals in my community, heathen?” he intoned, his glare damning and uncompromising as he looked with disgust and contempt at the Englishman sitting at the desk and staring at him in puzzlement.

“Who in the name of Chaos are you, you daft fool?” Ethan demanded curiously. “I thought that you were going to dress as some bleeding stereotypical vampire when you bought that outfit, but your aura’s all wrong for anything like that.”

“Why in the name of the Lord would I dress as one of those abominations, unbeliever?” the intruder demanded. “A hunter would never dress as that which he hunts – not even the damned are stupid enough to be fooled for even a second by the thought I had joined with them in everlasting damnation!

“And I have wasted enough time speaking with you,” he then declared. “Now, burn with those you chose to worship!”

Lifting both of his hands, which had been hanging by his sides ‘til now, the newcomer revealed the two flintlock pistols he had carried in with him.

The first shot took Ethan squarely in the chest, the lead ball deforming and splintering as it smashed through his sternum, perforating his lungs and chest cavity. If the shock of the ball’s impact hadn’t killed him, Ethan would have most likely have quickly drowned in his own blood.

Not even a flicker of satisfaction crossed the man’s face as he took a moment to regard the body lying on the shop’s floor before then turning to glare at the shelf on which the glowing sculpture of Janus sat.

“Blasphemy!” Solomon Kane growled as he lifted his remaining pistol, took aim at the mockingly smiling bust and pulled the trigger.

The blessed bullet shattered the sculpture and the resulting blast and subsequent fire not only destroyed the entire store but also incinerated whatever pieces of Warren Mears’ body had remained after the explosion.

The Sunnydale Fire Department crews who responded to the alarm, after a thorough and meticulous investigation that took a sum total of seven and a half minutes, declared that the entire incident was the result of a leaking gas main.

~~~

Sunnydale Library
Later that night


”And you say you all still retain the memories of these fictional characters whom you had dressed as?” Giles asked, the incredulity in his voice evident to all four of his charges.

“Yeah, Giles, I can still remember, almost word for word, the dissertations I wrote as Danielle Jackson for my Doctorates in Middle Eastern Archeo-Linguistics, Archaeology and Anthropology, and I can speak, read and write more than twenty languages,” Buffy replied with more than a bit of wide-eyed wonder as she gave a partial list of the memories she still possessed.

“Although I'm not completely sure that several of those languages actually exist in this universe,” she added thoughtfully as she gave the matter a bit more consideration.

“And I kinda doubt I’ll ever get the chance, but I’m pretty sure that if I did, it would be pretty easy to re-qualify as a pilot for Goa’uld Death Gliders, tel’tac cargo ships and some of the other ships the Goa’uld and the Tok’ra used to transport stuff that was too big to go through a gate,” Willow chimed in with a pleased grin of her own.

“And I’m also really looking forward to seeing how Drey’auc’s training matches up against your skills when we spar later, Buffy,” she added.

“How about you and Dawn, Xander?” Giles asked as he turned to the tow remaining Pack members. “What do you remember?”

“Enough to want to start checking out some of the programs I remember writing for the SGC with Willow and seeing how we might want to implement them with regard to better organizing the information we already have on the guys we go out looking for most nights, and maybe even developing ways to acquire even better intelligence,” Xander answered, his reply combining parts that sounded both exactly like his normal response, and yet not like it in the least.

“I think I’m gonna be pulling straight A’s through the rest of high school,” Dawn grinned with anticipation.

"What with being able to remember getting my bachelor's degree in aeronautical engineering and a master's in intenational relations and all," she elaboratgd.

“And I’ve also got some ideas for training up all four of us to let us take better advantage of the skills we already have, and also start developing some others we wouldn’t have the chance to learn unless we joined one of the services,” she stated with a hint of confidence and authority surprising in someone her age.

“And I’ve also got this urge to go fishing,” she added as she slouched back in her chair.

“They’re not the only ones who were affected tonight,” a new voice declared quietly, surprising everyone present and making all four Pack members respond reflexively, snatching up the nearest weapon and spinning to target the speaker’s location.

“Marcie?” Buffy asked, the question in her voice clearly evident as they stared at the black-clad figure poised between two of the stacks.

“Yeah, it’s me,” the newcomer nodded as she approached the group, her hands held out to the sides in a gesture of nonaggression in the face of the various pistols and P90 PDW's (Personal Defense Weapons) being leveled in her direction.

“And Cordy’s outside in the corridor with some people we met earlier tonight, waiting for me to let her know everything’s cool and she can bring them in to meet you,” she informed her friends.

“They seemed to be affected like we were, and the same way you guys were, too, from what I could hear you guys saying when I was coming in,” the now clearly visible brunette told them.

“Exactly why is it you brought these new acquaintances of yours here to us, and why would you believe we might need their aid in determining who or what was responsible for the night’s occurrences, Marcie?” Giles asked, his tone polite but conveying a sense of disapproval at her bringing strangers along with her without first checking with them.

“Well, to begin with, my alternate persona had acquired a lot of experience dealing with the strange and unusual,” was the answer the Englishman received as the corridor doors opened and a smiling and apparently unconcerned Cordelia Chase, clad in surprisingly well-tailored fatigues, what looked like a customized combat vest and carrying an M4 carbine, accompanied two men into the Scooby Pack’s HQ.

The Pack and Giles were all surprised to recognise the speaker, wearing a familiar and easily identifiable red, white and blue uniform as Andrew Wells, and the slightly smaller youth dressed all in black as Jonathan Levinson.

“And because a lot of innocent people got hurt earlier tonight,” Jonathan stated, displaying an atypical degree of self-confidence in both his speech and body language as he joined the others in the library.

“Someone needs to be held responsible for that,” he declared with an assurance no one present was inclined to dispute.

“And I’m going make sure that happens.”

~~~

Outside the normal space-time continuum


“An excellent job, if I do say so myself.”

The speaker was a dark-haired man currently sipping on a large stein of some dark lager as he spoke – a feat he was capable of only because he had two faces – the one on the front of his head was that of a young, clean-shaven youth, which was the one currently drinking his beverage, while the second, on the back of his head, was of a mature, bearded man and was the one supplying the commentary on the scene he and his companion were presently viewing – apparently a live view of the meeting currently taking place in the Sunnydale library.

“Yes, indeed, my friend, it most certainly is.”

The second individual watching the goings-on was a tanned, brown-haired man wearing a faded brown Wily E. Coyote tee-shirt, who looked to be of Latin or possibly Amerindian descent.

He was contentedly ensconced on a quite comfortable-looking overstuffed chair similar to the one his associate occupied, his feet propped up on a coffee table as he nonchalantly snacked from a large tub of popcorn, interspersed with frequent sips from the oversized mug occupying the cup holder on the right side of his chair.

“Do those idiots really think I’m going to just sit back and not do whatever I need to do, in order to provide my grandchildren with whatever tools they’re going to need to accomplish the tasks they have ahead of them, just because they think it’s a bad idea?” he asked in a conversational tone of voice.

“Well, Lo, considering the fact that they really are idiots, I’d say that, yeah, they probably do think that,” the bearded faced laughed. “What a bunch of shmucks.

“I bet that they’d never even consider the possibility that the two of us could be working together since we aren’t in the same pantheon,” he went on, shaking his head with amusement.

“True,” the other being nodded. “It’s surprising that they’ve managed to retain as much control as they have up to this point, given the mistakes they’ve made over the past few ages.

“Oh well,” he yawned as he watched his grandchildren begin interacting with the others he’d decided could help provide them with additional support, “it’s not as though those buffoons can do anything about it now. The die is cast.

“Let the chips fall where they may.”

FIN

The End

You have reached the end of "Dressed For Success". This story is complete.

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking