Disclaimer: I own nothing. Kripke and Whedon do.
Spoilers: Post-BTVS (totally non-canon really. I like Dru). SPN: Nothing, can be from any season, really, but let's say somewhere between two and three.
FFA: Missouri Mosely/Drusilla (non-pairing)
"Boy, you had best lower that gun!"
Missouri Mosely glared at the oldest Winchester, hands firmly on her hips.
Dean Winchester gave the psychic a look of intense disbelief; however, his gun didn't lower from being pointed directly at the chest of the woman before him. "She's a vampire!" He exclaimed in protest.
"Don't you take that tone with me."
The black woman took a threatening step towards Dean.
Dean took a reflexive step back, afraid that she was going to smack him.
Sam, who was alternating between trying not to laugh at his brother and giving the vampiress in the kitchen wary glances, stepped in and tried to placate. "Missouri. You know Dean, he's a bit .." Sam trailed off trying to find the right word that wouldn't set Missouri's wrath upon him but wouldn't get him sleeping in the car either.
"A bit what, Sammy?" Dean snapped.
"I'm not a bit anything. We come here because she says she has a faster way to find the demons. Then she introduces us to a vampire. A vampire, Sam. A damn vampire who likes to sing about curds and whey. And don't get me started on that doll."
Dean barely finished his tirade before his ear was being twisted.
"Oooo, chile." Missouri continued to glare at him, twisting the big bad hunter's ear some more. Dean winced. Sam snickered. "I know you have better manners than that. I found a way to help you and this is how you thank me?"
"Thank you?!" Dean continued doggedly on. "You said it yourself. She isn't like the vamps we're used to. She's worse than the demons. Not to mention that damn freaky doll."
Missouri rolled her eyes. She loved Dean. She really did. But Lordy, he was worse than a five year old brat. "Do I look stupid to you?"
Dean paused. A small turn of the psychic's wrist had him bending his knees in pain.
"OW ... OW ... OW. Fuck! No, no! You don't look stupid."
By then Sam was practically on the floor rolling in laughter.
"Do you really think that I'd invite an evil vampire into my house?"
"Did you see that doll?!"
"Fine! Okay? All right! We'll give Morticia and Dead Zone's lovechild a try.
Just ... let go." Dean whined. "Just let go of my ear."
Missouri gave him a pleased yet measuring look, doing so.
"Good. I'll let Drusilla know. You better behave with her, Dean Winchester, or it'll be something besides your ear next time." She warned before turning to go to the kitchen and inform her guest of the new travel plans.
Dean thinking of all the skin he had for Missouri to attack as he began to rub his extremely hot ear. The look on his face a cross between a scowl and a pout. He let out a whimper; a manly one.
Sam was near dying on the couch.
"Oh shut it, you fucking punk bitch."
Sam blinked, looked at his brother who looked like a reprimanded four year old and started all over again. However, did managed to wheeze out. "Don't have to ... jerk."
From the kitchen, sipping her tea and petting Miss Edith's head, Drusilla shook her own slightly. She liked to play nice with the humans now that she had a big sticky soul like daddy (except stickier, of course), however, some things were just too much for a proper lady. "Worms and bugs for tongues, naughty little darlings with rainbow hearts." She murmured to herself before looking up at Missouri who was looking fondly at the Winchesters despite the fact they had forgotten the rule of cushions being for sitting and not for fights. "Sweet little devils who meddle and ignore the stars."
Missouri looked down at the serene vampiress and noticed just a flash of lucidity in those hazy dark, dark eyes. She nodded. "Ooo, you have no idea."
"Hmm." Just like her daddy, her William, and her little brother did.
"Then I shall bring out my most lovely dress and we shall have crumpets and tea!"
"Did somebody mention food?"
Sounded from the small living room, only to be followed by an "Oomph!" then a "Oh you're so going down now, Samantha. Be prepared to scream."
"God, Dean could you get any cornier?"
Missouri sighed and rolled her eyes. They may have been able to ignore the 'stars' but they sure as hell couldn't ignore her wrath. Pushing her sleeves up she stormed into the living room. "That best not be my throw pillows you're using as weapons Sam Winchester!"
Drusilla covered her mouth with a slim hand and let out a dainty giggle. Tilting her head slightly, she looked down at her doll with her small smile on her lips. "Yes, Miss Edith, I truly do think adventures with the prince and the knight shall be more fun than eating brains." She paused with a pensive frown. "Not TOO much more fun."
With that she went back to sipping her tea. The crescendoing screeches of Missouri and the whimpers of the Winchesters soothing to her.
Well, maybe, a bit more fun.