by Fernando Rangel
Author’s Notes: This is AU in a big way, in this universe, Faith never went to L.A. and turned herself in, she just...left. Supergirl never found Linda Danvers and merged with her, and became an "Earth Born Angel". This is also based on my fic "Lost Thoughts" where the thoughts in the beginning are from (or a variation of). A...kind of sequel if you will, but not really, so...yeah. There are excerpts from Jewel’s poetry and Ernest Hemmingway throughout this "chapter".
Summary: When heroes collide, the unlikeliest things happen. For Faith and Supergirl, they’ll learn that lesson the hard way...
Category: Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance, Horror, Drama
Spoilers: Season One through Five of Buffy the Vampire up to and including "The Gift". Barring Five by Five and Sanctuary of Angel, that’s where it goes AU. This also contains spoilers from Supergirl of DC Comics. Pretty much issues one through fifty right now.
Rating: PG-13, for violence and adult content/speech
Dedication: Mandy! Chris! Supergirl & BtVS fans everywhere!
Feedback: I’d love to get feedback. So, if you read this, and would like to give a guy a pat on the back, then go on ahead and give me feedback!
I don't know how to do anything
I am trying to move
mountains with words
But I am an ant
I move like a worm
encompassed a mile
do I rise above?
I’m already a killer; they already see me as a killer. There’s no way I can be the Slayer like everyone wants me to be.
Faith walked through the alleyway staggering about as she passed through. The night was sinister, freezing, and she was alone. She took another swig of the bottle, who knew what was in it--she certainly didn't.
I’m not Buffy; everyone knows that.
I’m Faith; I’m a bad girl.
I’m a murderer; a killer--no one cares about killers, no one loves killers.
I stared into the mayor's icy and crazed eyes, and realized that those moments changed everything; it altered the course of history, it altered the course of my fate, my destiny...and I didn’t care.
She took a deep breath before she chucked the glass bottle into the wall.
It'd been three years since that night, the night she betrayed Buffy and joined forces with the mayor; things were different after that, she knew it better than anyone, even the self-proclaimed good guy Buffy: superhero extraordinaire.
I don’t care about anything--I’m empty and hollow inside.
She wiped her wet lips clean with her sleeve; things weren't as great as she hoped.
Life wasn't large.
Life wasn't five by five.
Life was pain.
Cold, hard, pain.
Life wasn't good.
Life wasn't bliss.
Life was just the huge festering wound at the pit of your stomach; unintentionally she rubbed the scar over her abdomen, Just one big festering wound.
I don’t care about the guy I offed, I don’t care about Buffy.
I don’t care about her fucking Scooby Gang, or her stupid Watchers.
Of course she didn't, she hated them all. They hurt her, they ignored her, they were cold, and unrelenting. They tried to help her; they tried to be her friend--the shame of it all.
Didn't they know she was just a pile of meat with bones, unworthy of anything, unworthy of love, unworthy of living...?
I don’t care about anything--I’m empty and hollow inside.
She heard the crash from behind her, and she grinned--something was following her. She gave a drunken glance at a box of crates nearby, and slammed her foot into one of them as she sloppily grabbed a shard. "Punks, you can't take me," she whispered under her breath as she heard the growl, and stared at the glowing yellow eyes from the shadows.
Maybe being the good girl was all Buffy could do, that she did better than anybody else in the world. But me? I’m the bad girl--and nobody’s bitchier than I am; I do being bad better than anybody else in the world.
"Come on," she held her hand up as she started into a fit of laughter, the monsters growled and attacked, "You can't kill me." She slammed her foot into them, staking left and right. "I can't die, no one can take me."
Things can never be the same for me again and I don’t care; I don’t care about anything--I’m empty and hollow inside.
When the dust settled she stared at the piles, she sulked, "No one can take me." She staggered out of the alley, "I'm no one. I'm nothing. I'm a shell." She smiled at the open carton of bottles and swiped one opening it quickly, "If all else fails, alcohol will cure everything," and drank continuing her descent into the city.
She soared through the dark sky, the deep abyss above the city. This was the only time she felt alive, truly alive--when she was in the air flying like a bird.
It was during this time she felt like she was more than just a being made of protomatter, something more than a being manufactured, she...felt. Something she hardly did anymore.
So alone, so tired.
She had so many questions and even worse, she had no idea what the questions were.
She landed on a rooftop as she looked across the city, the abandoned buildings still and quiet. The light in the city was dim in these parts, so dark and damp. She watched as a drunken girl who couldn't have been older than 17, possibly 18, stagger along, her long dark hair on her shoulders with the painful expression of self-loathing on her face.
She found it odd that humans were like this, as if living was such a horrible thing. How she yearned to just...live, to be apart of everything, to feel like she was part of a bigger whole. She sighed, what was she? Did she have a soul?
My head hurts
She tossed some of her blond hair behind her, smoothed out the wrinkles of her bright crimson skirt, and quickly jumped off the building, slowly descending down to the ground, and on the way watched the reflection of her shield, the S-shield as Superboy once called it, became bigger. She landed staring at it for the moment, pondering its various meanings: truth, justice, hope. She wished she knew if there was a part of it in her. So many questions, so many answers she needed and being Supergirl didn’t help that matter.
Not that she (Mae, Matrix, Supergirl, whatever it was that she was called) minded helping others, it seemed like the right thing to do...though part of her wondered if she did it because she wanted to, or because she was designed to want to.
She turned to see the drunken girl collapse, and with her super-speed, she dashed to the girl, grabbing her before she collapsed. She picked her up without hesitation and whispered, "Hello?"
The drunkard growled, "Let go of me, who-who the hell..."
Faith turned over, struggling against the other’s massive strength and sobered up when she felt herself falling, and she let out a blood-curdling scream. Suddenly feeling a grip on her wrist, she looked up.
Supergirl smiled, "Do you want my help now?" Faith nodded, "Yeah, yeah, just get me down slow."
After a few moments they landed and Faith pushed Supergirl off her, "Thanks Sup, but I can take care of myself." Faith started walking away angrily growling at herself for not being able to hold a few bottles of liquor...many few bottles of liquor. Supergirl glided over to her as she said, "Sure, if by taking care of yourself you mean ‘collapses in dark, dank, alleyways drunk off your...’"
Faith growled and stopped in her tracks, "Listen I said I don’t need your help, nor do I want it!"
Supergirl sighed, "How old are you?"
Faith sighed, "What are you, deaf? Stay away from me."
Faith glared and walked away.
"Hey, don’t..." Supergirl reached for her arm and Faith growled slamming Supergirl to the ground, and cocked an eyebrow, that was definitely new. Supergirl glared, "Who are you? Lucky for you, you caught me off guard..."
Faith shook her head, "Whatever, there’s no hope for the damned." Faith quickly rushed off. Supergirl lifted off, but the mysterious girl disappeared, nowhere to be seen.
Supergirl. What’s up with that? Faith glared at the wall, what had she been doing there? Why was Supergirl trying to...save her? Faith shook her head, nothing made sense, when did the meta-humans start coming to little cities like this? Last Faith heard, Supergirl was off in Metropolis.
That was a switch; she was saved by a real superhero. Someone of true virtue and a paradigm of justice--the opposite of everything she was, almost like Buffy.
A cool breeze swept through the abandoned building causing the Rogue Slayer to shiver, a blanket would be good right about now.
She lay there in that bed quiet as a mouse, thinking over times past, her silent ride in the cargo out of Sunnydale, how she wanted...wants...wanted to die.
She felt so empty, so alone...still did.
Being Faith wasn't a picnic, being human was worse. She lived a life with family and friends, she lived a life with someone who loved her, she lived the life where she was the hero...and it wasn't hers. It slipped so fast from her grasp, a life so unlike hers, a life she so desperately needed vanished within seconds as she stared down at her own face, slamming her fist into it, "Murderous bitch, you're disgusting..." Her own words drifting in the abyss of her mind, and suddenly with a flash she was staring up at Buffy, back in her body. Her life back, back to the emptiness, back to being alone, back to being dead, alive, but dead.
She stood up from where she lay and jumped out the window landing with a hard thump; she needed fun, fast. Too much thinking was bad for the soul...even a damned one.
"We need the blood of a blessed one."
"Yes my liege, but...where are we going to get one touched by the Powers that Be, the ritual must commence tonight...there is no absolute way..."
The cloaked demon slammed his fist into the acolyte, "There is always a way! Where there’s will, there’s way!" He glared at the floored human, his eyes glowing an eerie shade of emerald. His smiled curved up to expose his sharpened teeth, "Sources tell me there’s a Slayer here, a rogue slayer by the name of Faith. Find her, we’ve got our sacrifice, we have the destruction of the world, and the coming of our master!"
The human bowed and exited taking with him a few extra demons, "Lets go. We have a Slayer to catch, it’s our heads if we don’t find her."
The cloaked demon cackled to himself as he watched the group leave, the impending doom was so close he could taste it. The massive destruction, the barrier rip between dimensions, all of it! He could hardly contain himself.
Through the looking glass he saw the vision of his master, a massive beast with a mane rough, thick with darkened hair, yellow skin that scaled around him like a lizard, his tongue jet black, and his teeth stained yellow--bones caught between them--and his smoky eyes stared out to Lojeh, the cloaked demon. Lojeh dropped to his knees, "Soon master we will have the sacrifice, and the ruler of chaos shall be set free!"
The master demon smiled enigmatically as he spoke in a dark and raspy voice of the dead, "Good."
have thought the longer thoughts
the shorter way.
have danced to devil's tunes
home to pray;
one master in the night,
in the day.