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The Hell That is Family

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Summary: Sammy gets a partial reprieve when a store assistant manager gets involved.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > ReapertohonomikeFR715471173,0639 Nov 079 Nov 07Yes
Author: Tohonomike
Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners… Joss/Mutant Enemy; and whoever owns “Reaper”

“Now Ted, whose area exceeds sales?”


“And leads the district in product knowledge, and customer satisfaction, and return business?”

“Yours,” the wienie store manager sighed.

“Then why are you giving me grief and hovering? Did you give Sock the day off again by mistake?”

The imperious store manager sighed and simply walked away. He hated it when Xander was right, and whenever he hovered too closely, the assistant manager’s construction area seemed to suffer.

Xander noticed a man facing away from him in an overly-formal suit talking to Sam. The frequently-absent employee looked worried, so Harris decided to see if he could help with whatever the situation was.

“Sam, can I help you?”

The man whirled around with a look of horror when he recognized Xander. Sam didn’t think the Devil could look frightened. Let alone didn’t simply disappear as Xander grabbed Satan by the throat and started beating his head against a shelf.

“Xander! It’s the Devil! What are you doing?!”

“I KNOW who it is, Sammy. This is the guy I’ve been waiting years to pay back.”

The Devil gurgled. Sam froze, not believing that a Work Bench Assistant Manager was getting the best of the Devil!

“How can you do this?!”

“It’s easy…I’m a chip off the old block, so as long as I keep contact, it’s like he’s beating himself,” Xander said as he kneed the Evil One in the groin. “So you sold your soul to him or something?” He head-butted the greasy bastard.

“No my parents did. I’m just supposed to retrieve lost souls. And if I forfeit he gets mom’s soul.”

Xander looked really angry, and yanked Satan to his feet by the ear, turning to Sam.

“You wanna knee him, Sammy.”

“That’s what he calls me,” the young man grimaced.

“Sorry.” He turned to the ‘man’ and noticed a large crowd gathering. He shouted to them. “Bad check writer; he’s agreed to pay up so everything’s fine.” The crowd mostly of small contractors nodded and went about their business. Nobody liked a Welch.

“So, Dad, I though we agreed you’d stay out of California, and Washington State now that I’m here?”

“But, this was before, my boy.”

Xander looked at Sam, who nodded reluctantly.

“Tell ya what, Dad? The kid works for a whole year for ya, and nobody forfeits souls. Got it?”

“Sure, son. But on one condition…” Xander glared, but raised an eyebrow. “Your mom misses you. How ‘bout we do Italian Saturday night? Heck, I’ll even take us to Rome and drop you off at your place after?”

Xander nodded.

“Fine. But next time you want to convince me to spend some family time, can you stop with the decades-long plans?”

“No agreement on that.”

“Fine. I’ll let Ted know I’m off next weekend.”

“And your mom’s been asking about your friend Willow?”

“Dad, she’s lesbian.”

“Bi, actually. But your mom likes her. That temple raising impressed the heaven out of her.”

“I’ll ask Wills if she wants to come along, but no matchmaking.”

“That’s up to your mother. Negotiate with her.”

Both males shuddered as Sammy quietly ran for a quiet place to hide.

The End

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