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"You speak what, Sir?"

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This story is No. 2 in the series "Not As Dumb As He Pretends". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Sequel to "Trees". Jack surprises his team during movie night. Humorous fluff set in season 8 of SG-1, vague spoilers.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Non-BtVS/AtS Stories(Current Donor)SulienFR71946372,83413 Nov 0713 Nov 07Yes
Disclaimer: I wish they were mine, but MGM, Gekko, Double Secret, et al own all the toys. I make no profit, I just enjoy the daylights out of it when Jack manages to surprise his team in one fashion or another.

Sequel to "Trees". Unbetaed, please feel free to point out needed corrections.

Team movie night. Jack always enjoyed spending the time with SG-1, especially since he’d become ‘The Man’ and left the leadership of the team to Sam, but sitting here and watching damn near twelve hours of what amounted to one movie was hard on his well used body (he refused to say ‘aging’, even in his own thoughts). “When you said you had “The Lord of the Rings”, Daniel, I thought you meant you had one of the movies. Not the extended editions of all three,” Jack groused after the end of the second disk of ”Fellowship of the Ring”, as Daniel got up to put in the first disk of ”The Two Towers”.

“It’s one story, Jack, you can’t just watch one movie,” Daniel replied. “Besides, I thought you liked Tolkien.” He had seen both the Trilogy and "The Silmarillion” on Jack’s bookshelf in the den, along side sundry Air Force manuals and regulations, flight manuals and the expected techno thrillers of Tom Clancy and Dale Brown.

“You like Tolkien, sir?” Sam asked. “I thought you weren’t into fantasy or science fiction.”

“This is not fantasy, Major Carter,” Teal’c beat Jack to the punch. “It is a mythic tale of the struggle against insurmountable odds by a small group of persons to over throw evil beings intent upon the domination and ruin of all. Very not unlike our own endeavors against the Goa’uld.”

“Yeah, what T said,” Jack added, waving a hand in the air. “I like the movies too, just not all at one looong shot,” he drew the adjective out for emphasis. He rose from the sofa and stretched, saying, “And on that statement, I’m going to go and stretch my legs for a bit before we start the next one. Would you mind phoning for the pizza, Carter?”

The pizza arrived and they watched the rest of the movie with stretch and bathroom breaks in between the disks. When the strains of “Into the West” floated through the speakers as the end credits of ”The Return of the King” rolled, Jack sighed and said, “I have to admit, I do love these movies and one of the things I enjoy the most about them is hearing the Elvish languages spoken.”

“How would you know Elvish from Dwarvish, Jack?” Daniel asked.

Sam chortled and said, “He’s pulling your leg, Daniel.”

“You wound me, Carter,” Jack said with an overdone look of offense, one hand pressed over his chest. “Le aniron henio i lam Edhellen bedin. For you non-speakers, that was Sindarin and it translates as ‘I want you to know that I speak Elvish’.”

Daniel closed his mouth, which had been hanging open, and reached across to Sam to push her jaw closed with the tip of a finger. Teal’c was looking at O’Neill with a slightly raised eyebrow and a definite smile, and said, “As I have said before, O’Neill is a man of many capabilities.”

“Indeed,” Daniel and Sam said at the same time, not even glancing at each other after they did it.

“Pân i valt law thilia ah ú-phain i reviar mistennen,” Jack said, shrugging his shoulders. He wasn’t overly modest.

“Come on sir, fair speaking Elf at us if you don’t translate,” Sam said.

“Why don’t you translate it, Daniel?” Jack asked, looking at Daniel.

Daniel actually huffed before replying, “Because I don’t do the geeky stuff, Jack. I never bothered with the constructed languages like Elvish or Klingon.”

Jack looked at Daniel in mild surprise. “But it’s such a beautiful language. I’d think you would have learned it just for the sounds and the way it tastes when you speak it.”

As they had been during the mission to the ‘redwood planet,’ as Jack called P7X-333, Daniel and Sam were both left speechless by their CO, nor did Teal’c comment. Finally, Sam asked, “What about that translation, sir?”

“‘All that is gold does not glitter and not all who wander are lost’, Carter. That’s the translation.” Jack smiled at his team and added, “I keep tellin’ you people, you don’t know everything there is about me,” and pushed stop on the DVD remote. He certainly wasn’t going to let the disc play the full fan credits and let them see one Jonathan ‘Jack’ O’Neill among the names therein.

Author’s note: A complete Sindarin translation of “The Riddle of Strider”, the first line of which is “All that is gold does not glitter”, can be found at the Gwaith-i-Phethdain website.

Also, for those who may not have seen the extended edition DVDs, there are 'fan credits' that run after the main credits (only on the extended edition DVDs). Back before the movies were even released in the theater, the official Lord of the Rings fan club offered charter members the chance to have their names in the 'fan credits' at the end of the extended edition DVDs. If you bought a one year charter membership, you would get your name on the Fellowship extended DVD, two years membership would get you on Two Towers as well, and a three year charter membership would get your name in the fan credits of all three extended edition DVDs. Jack would so totally have his name in the fan credits of all three of the extended editions, not that he would ever let on. ;-) And here's a bit of trivia for you: many of the cast and crew members of the movies joined up as charter members in the fan club, so their names are also in the fan credits.

The End

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