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By All That's Gucci!

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This story is No. 3 in the series "One-stop shop for my FFA's.". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: FFA Pairing: Marc gets a new hag. (BtVS / Ugly Betty)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Ugly BettyamusewithaviewFR132792072,90616 Nov 0716 Nov 07Yes

Baby Got Back

Disclaimer: I own naught.

A/N: So, not really a pairing I guess, but they are connected by the man who loves them.

Timeline: Pre-season for Ugly Betty, irrelevant for BtVS.


"Oh my god, Harmony – look at her butt!"

"It is sooooo big!"

He nodded, a wide smile showing off picture-perfect gleaming white teeth. Marc loved having another hag, even if this Kendall girl wasn't quite as smart as Amanda; it wasn't as if he was looking for a scintillating conversationalist. All he needed was a good secretary to buddy up with during the awful night-hours that Willy had him on while her Bridezilla tendencies continued to prevail - especially seeing as Amanda was still on vacation.

Honestly how long did it take to recover from the shock of finding out that your parents had been lieing to you your whole life and your old boss was actually your mom?

"She looks like one of those rap guy's girlfriends," the vapid blonde continued. Suddenly she paused and frowned, "Wait, isn't that the name of a song or something? That phrase sounds sooooo familiar…"

Marc patted her gently on the head, making sure not to mar her gloriously coifed blonde hair. "Never you mind, kitten. I'm sure it'll come to you sooner or later. Probably later."

"Yeah, probably," she smiled brightly.

"Anyways, I'm going to go see who that unfortunately shaped model-wannabe might be, ciao!" They air-kissed and separated: Harmony to her filing – nails, not papers – and Marc to his insult-mongering.

The assistant marched right up to pear-shaped personage and eyed her disdainfully. Really, there was no excuse for bad grooming, and even less for a badly conditioned body.

Fat. Ew.

"Excuse me. Excuse me? You, in the fuschia skirt-suit, yeah who are - " One hand flew to his heart and the other to fumble behind for something to support himself against. "It - it can't be…"

But it was! The unfortunately-shaped, badly-conditioned, pear-shaped, model-wannabe, big-butted, fuschia-skirted personage was none other than his own, dearly beloved hag: Amanda!

"By all that's Gucci, girl – what have you done to yourself?!"

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