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The Date

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Summary: Xander hopes that Lightning doesn't strike twice. Warning: B/X ship fic

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Romance > Buffy/Xander(Current Donor)VladtheImpishFR151438,8133823,49517 Nov 0717 Nov 07Yes

Chapter One

Title: The Date

Author: Vlad_the_Impish

Rating: Nothing worse than the show.

Summary: Xander hopes that lightning doesn’t strike twice.

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with the show. I’m not making any money from this story.

A/N: AU, near the beginning of S4, after the whole Parker fiasco but before Riley is anything more than blip on the radar. Anya did proposition him and although he is male, he managed to think with the head on his shoulders long enough to realise that it wasn’t the best idea in the world to sleep with a woman that hates all men and declined.




The Date

Chapter One

*UC Sunnydale,
Sunnydale, California,
Sunday 7th November 1999,

If anyone who knew Xander Harris saw him right now, they’d be extremely worried for whoever he was currently looking for. The look that was on his face had appeared before, but not very often, so each and every time was memorable. Buffy had been on the receiving end of it when the Anointed One had kidnapped Willow; Angelus had been on the receiving end of it during their confrontation outside Buffy’s hospital room; Jack O’Toole had been on the receiving end of it when they were standing either side of a bomb.

The person that had caused the look to return this time was Parker Abrams, the man who in Xander’s opinion gave all men a bad name. His treatment of Buffy, the woman who Xander had once again fallen for, had enraged him and vengeance was called for. As he stalked toward the frat house that Parker lived in, it was as though an invisible plough were clearing him a path, people seemed to instinctively move out of the brunette mans way for fear that his anger would spill out onto them.

He threw open the door to the frat house and strode inside, which caused those in the living area to turn to the sudden noise. “Where is he?” he asked in a cold and quiet voice, knowing that it was far more effective than any bellow.

“W-Who?” one of them asked in reply, desperately hoping his name wouldn’t be the answer.

“*Parker*,” Xander replied with a sneer a look that sent shivers down everybody’s spines.

Silence reigned for a few moments as they all mentally chose whether to betray their frat brother or not.

Patience was not one of Xander’s virtues at the best of times and especially not at the moment, so and he growled loudly to grab their attention once more. “Don’t make me ask again; you don’t want me to get… creative.” They all looked at each other before nodding in unison.

“Second floor, third door to the right.”

Xander nodded once in acknowledgement before he made his way toward the stairs. As he did so, the brothers in the living area all breathed a sigh in relief before quickly leaving, not wanting to be around when the screaming started.

It only took a few seconds for Xander to bound up the steps and stand in front of Parker’s door, and he took a few moments to prepare himself for what he was about to do. He was trying to keep his anger in check as he knew he could easily kill the man that was the other side of the door if he lost control; Xander maybe a killer, but he was not a murderer. Taking one more calming breath to ensure his anger remained at a slow boil, he kicked in the door to Parker’s room and stepped inside.

“Hey there Parker, we need to have a conversation about treating women with respect.”

“Who are you?” Parker asked with a slight hitch in his voice.

Try as he might, he could not contain the fear that he was feeling right now; having the door to your room kicked in wasn’t exactly a calming experience. He was sure that if he had seen the man standing in front of him at any other time he wouldn’t have paid him a second glance, but right now he was danger given human form and absolutely impossible to ignore.

“I’m a friend of Buffy Summers,” was Xander's terse reply, doing his best to resist the urge to put Parker’s head through every solid object in the room, at least for the time being.


Parker knew that was the wrong response immediately, as Xander surged forward with a vicious right hook that sent him flying into the wardrobe behind him, turning it into nothing more than a pile of kindling. Blood quickly began to flow freely from his obviously broken nose, and his eyes were now glassy and unfocused.

“The amount of pain you’ll end up in during this conversation completely depends on how you respond to what I say,” Xander told him, doing his best to modulate his voice, “so I suggest you think before you speak from now on.”

Parker nodded his head carefully; mindful of the pain he was already feeling. He could see that the man standing over him had no qualms in causing him serious and possibly permanent damage if he gave him even the slightest justification, so he decided to remain absolutely silent until directly questioned.

“Do I take it that you now remember who Buffy is?”

“Yes,” he replied immediately.

Parker did remember the petite blonde now; she had been a descent enough lay, but had been too clingy for his liking after the fact and it had taken him a while to extricate himself from her surprisingly strong grip when he made his exit later that night. He’d had better, but it at least tided him over until the following night when he met Anya who, while being completely without tact, had a mastery of her inner muscles that was second to none.

“You flirted with her, made it seem you wanted a relationship and then once you got what you wanted you dumped her like yesterdays trash. If you had made it clear from the beginning that you were just looking for a good time, I wouldn’t be here and you wouldn’t need a new wardrobe. Instead, you lead her on and left her a crying mess without a single word of explanation.” Xander’s eyes hardened and despite the wooziness threatening to overcome him, Parker found himself completely focussed on them. “I take offence to anyone that does that to one of my girls, generally ending with me putting something sharp in the offending person’s chest,” Parker’s eyes widened in fear at the prospect of being killed, “but I tend to shy away from things that would send me to jail for the rest of my life unless I have no other option.” Parker’s fear lessened but didn’t disappear, not by a long shot.

“Whatever you want I’ll do it,” he pleaded, whimpering like a dog.

Xander smiled, but Parker could tell that there was no humour behind it; in fact it unnerved him greatly. “I’m very glad to hear that. This is what’s going to happen; you’re going to apology wholeheartedly and sincerely to Buffy, making it clear that she is in no way at fault for what happened.”

“I can do that,” Parker quickly agreed.

“You can and you *will*, that is if you like the use of your legs.” The smell of urine reached Xander’s nose and he looked down at Parker with even more distaste.

“I give you my word,” Parker vowed, only to have Xander stamp on his right knee, which caused it to bend the wrong way for a moment and sent blinding pain through Parker’s system.

“Your word means *shit* to me, but I will hold you to it. You’ll also promise me, right here and now, that you will *never* treat another woman the way you treated her.”

“I promise,” he immediately responded, “I’ll never do it again.”

“You better not, because if you don’t I *swear* they will *never* find your body. This is you’re only ‘get out of jail free’ card you’ll ever receive from me.”

“I swear on my mother’s life!” he shouted.


Xander punched him full force in the face once again, sending Parker into unconsciousness, before leaving the room.

He had so wanted to inflict more damage to him, to return the pain that he had caused Buffy ten-fold, but to do any more than he already had would have made him no better than his father, and he had sworn on Jesse’s grave that he would never allow that to happen.

Now that… unpleasantness was over, he could prepare himself for the hardest part of his self-imposed mission; asking Buffy out on a date.
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