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Pelt The Rabbit In His Big White Face

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Summary: (X/Over with the Mighty Boosh) London, post Chosen. Buffy is investigating bizzarre occurances of rape involving a big white bunny when she bumps into Vince Noir... (written after 12 cans of Red Bull, three tubes of Pringles, too much Boosh and no sleep!)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Mighty Boosh, TheTheHeartistFR1321,320131,09821 Nov 0729 Nov 07Yes

NOTE: This chapter is rated FR18

Do you like eels, boy?!

A/N: Ok, more headed your way, same circumstances causing me to write this really...I wish they didn't do that special deal on Red Bull at my local supermarket. Warning: foul language imminent.

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Xander stood in wonder at the strange box that had just arrived at Slayer HQ. It had arrived completely anonymously, and usually Giles wouldn't allow strange packages inside the building, but Willow had checked it out and it came up clean. No physical or magical threats to speak of, just a strange mystical vibe about the thing. It had came with a letter saying only someone gifted in the mystical arts should open the box, lest wicked things happen to the unlucky curious person who ignored the message. Of course, paying attention to such warnings had never really been Xander's strong suit.

"Willow says it's clean, what's it gonna hurt eh?" Xander said to himself, as he opened the lid slowly, and saw...

Nothing.

There was nothing inside, the box was completely empty.

"What in the hell..." Xander began to say, but then the box began to glow green, and suddenly he was sucked inside.

Xander hit the floor hard, and realised he was in the pitch dark. He quickly produced a Zippo lighter, and flicked it open, gaining some limited illumination. The room he was in was quite large, and there was several recesses in the walls, but beyond that, he could see nothing. Suddenly, lights flared on all around the room, and Xander saw the other occupant of the room.

Standing opposite him, was a tall man in a top hat and overcoat holding a walking cane. His skin was a deep color of green, and he had what looked like a giant version of those Polo mints that Giles liked to eat over his right eye. He also seemed to have a giant swollen right thumb.

"Hello there, boy! You ignored the letter, didn't ya?" the man bellowed at him with a thick Cockney accent.

"Who in the hell are you?" Xander asked, wide eyed. This was weird, even for him.

"They call me the 'itcher!" he yelled

"Why, you scratch a lot?" Xander asked.

"Not The Itcher, boy, the HITcher. I come from a long line of hitchers, all with bleedin' massive thumbs, see!" the green man said, waving his thumb around in front of Xander's face.

"Ooookayyy...so where in the hell am I?" Xander asked, still puzzled at the predicament he was in.

"You're currently my prisoner, in the Prison for Evil Animals! Over here, we have the Nazi turtle..." the green man began, before Xander quickly cut him off.

"Wait a sec, prisoner?!" Xander said incredulously ", buddy, you picked the wrong guy, trust me."

"Shut your noise! I'm gonna cut up like a wet fish, an' feed ya to me animals!" the green man yelled back, producing a rather dangerous looking knife.

Xander stopped to think, while the Hitcher jumped around on the spot, slicing the air with his knife and shouting things like ", I'm a Cockney nutjob!!!"

Then he simply pulled out the stun gun he kept with him at all times, and shot him, knocking him out.

"Lot of noise for nothing," Xander said to himself, as he walked into the light behind him that had a huge sign next to it saying EXIT.

Back in the lab, Xander looked strangely at the box, trying to process what the hell had just happened.

"Ah, I give up trying to figure this world out," Xander muttered to himself, as he closed the box and stuck it in the Classified Materials area, before walking back upstairs.

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A/N: As always, comments are help-iful

The End

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