Author’s Notes: inspired by those stupid emails and rereading the “70 questions” challenges for the Buffyverse.
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all associated characters are property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Productions, United Paramount Network, and Fox Television. This work is not for profit, and no ownership of aforementioned copyrighted material implied, nor any infringement intended.
* * *
DID YOU KNOW?
Inhaling vampire dust can cause silicosis.
Fyarl mucous was the inspiration for Super-glue.
Lycanthropy can be prevented by treating the wound with Listerine.
Vampires can walk in shadows because the infrared radiation that harms them doesn’t bounce off objects very well; it gets converted to heat and warms the object.
It is illegal to play Kitten Poker with real kittens in Cleveland.
Screaming “I’m melting!” when caught out in the rain is discriminatory toward Wiccans.
Wood-grain plastic stakes can scare off vampires.
It would take six Washington Monuments stacked on top of each other to reach from the bottom of the Sunnydale Sinkhole to its rim.
M’fashnik demons have a highly developed sense of rhythm.
More people die from claw hammers every year than from vampire bites.
“Happy meals” were invented by a McDonald’s employee, Eugene Kovach, who survived an attack by demons.
1 in 666 people is allergic to werewolf fur.
Earthquakes are harbingers of the Apocalypse.
The liquid inside jars of Kosher dill pickles works as well as Holy Water on vampires.
Polgara demons are claustrophobic.
Vampires are unlikely to bite you when you are suffering from ice cream “head-freeze.”
Fear demons are often not physically intimidating.
Crying babies are an aphrodisiac for 71% of demons.
The term “loan-shark” was created for the clan of bipedal, shark-headed demons that invented usury.
Most vampire attacks happen within 100 yards of establishments serving alcohol.
The two demons who were the inspiration for the movie “Monsters, Inc.” get a percentage of the royalties.
Rubber chickens can be used to ward off three different species of demon.
On average, somewhere in the world a vampire tries to “fly” every 1.6 minutes.
While you have been reading this email 8 people in the continental United States have had demonic encounters.
CONGRATULATIONS! You are now smarter than you were five minutes ago.
* * *