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Summary: The nosferatu band are the last of the kind, in a town with perpetual night how will the humans in Barrow, Alaska, survive their pitiless onslaught? Well, Illyria and Spike are spending the Christmas season in Barrow... For Leoruby

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > 30 Days of Night(Past Donor)KiwikatipoFR15310,1651154,0429 Dec 077 Apr 08Yes

Part Three

A blue tinged fist smashed its way through the female nosferatu’s skull in the near pitch black of the kitchen.

“Superhero?” Melanie repeated her son’s words in a high pitched yelp, trying and succeeding not to scream in hysteria again as the female nosferatu dissolved in a puddle of black slime on her kitchen floor.

“Sidekick!” Spike cuddling a terrified Sarah joined everyone in the kitchen.

Thank God, the kids were both alive and well, unharmed by whatever the hell that fanged female thing was, Leroy noted with relief from where he lay on the floor, nobly resisting the impulse to bleed to death.

Illyria frowned and shook her fist downwards. Giblets of gore dripped off her skin. Punching female nosferatu through their skulls would always be messy. “A child’s explanation for what he cannot comprehend.”

Illyria shimmered back into Fred.

“Say, you got any antibacterial hand-wash, Mel honey?” Sweet sunny Fred needed to know. “This brain gunk can be kinda contagious while it’s still warm.”

“Under the sink,” Melanie instructed. She pressed harder on Leroy’s neck to stop him attempting to get up. “Fred?”

“Wow, you have those kitchen scrub pads that smell like lemon, I love those.” Fred pulled the antibacterial soap dispenser out.

“Fred!” Melanie cried out in exasperation.

“What, Mel?” Fred rubbed her hands together under the flowing hot water tap. The water was still warm in spite of the power cut. “And lower your voice, there might be more of them outside.”

“Fred, you just turned blue and killed two mutants or whatever in my kitchen, God dang it!” Melanie hissed in an urgent whisper. “What the hell is up with that?”

“It’s a secret I can’t get specific into, the less you know for your own safety, the better.” Fred spoke quickly. “Those five years I was missing? I was working as a voluntary test subject for the US marines in a secret base in South America. I now have real neato abilities – I’m like a skinny blue incredible hulk. Those monsters were humans infected with a space alien virus from a crash landed spaceship.”

Melanie always believed the worst of her government and this confirmed every conspiracy theory she cherished. She nodded to show this made perfect sense to her.

It was the biggest pile of BS Leroy heard to date in his life, but he passed on the chance to pass comment in order to pass out instead.

“Leroy,” Melanie couldn’t question Fred further on this incredible story due to her worry over possible impending widowhood.

“He’ll live, just needs stitches is all,” Spike’s comforting words rang hollow in the freezing dark kitchen, “and about ten minutes exposure to that tanning bed you keep in the attic, in the next two hours.”

“What?” Giving up on trying to understand what the hell Spike was talking about, Melanie slapped Leroy briskly on the face in a desperate attempt to make him revive.

A gunshot followed by a blood curdling scream of terror and pain could be heard from outside the broken kitchen window.

“Dear God, please help us all.” Melanie prayed to her creator with every sincerity.

“Mel honey, just relax,” Fred soothed, “I’m going out there and I’m gonna kill every single god-damn alien and get the power plant running again so the tanning bed can work and Leroy won’t turn into a bloodsucking alien tomorrow.”

“There’s no way you’re gonna be able to do that, Fred.” Kevin scoffed.

Going to be able to do that.” Even in life and death situations it was Mel’s sacred duty as a mother to correct the kids’ grammar.

“I’ve got government endorsed super strength.” Fred reminded Kevin with the upbeat tone a body reserved for munchkins in mortal danger. “I’ll kill those scary aliens, no sweat.”

“Yeah, but getting the whole power plant running again …” Kevin worried, “Are you good with machines and stuff?”

With the screams of her murdered workmate still ringing in her ears, Denise clung to the familiar store walls of Barrow and scurried her way to the town’s diner in the darkness and lightly falling snow of the main street.

The unlit diner might provide her with help or sanctuary from the horrors outside because Barrow was rapidly transforming into a bloodbath.

“Denise!” Lucy the diner manager helped her inside. Wilson Bulosan and his old man, and the sheriff’s kid brother Jake, were sheltering there too, along with ten other people.

“Don’t you have a genny, Luce?” Surreal conversation was all Denise could manage right now.

“The lights are off ‘cause we don’t want to attract them.” Jake rose his head from the window where he peeked out from behind the blind. “I think they’re vampires… from the way they killed Grams.”

“No, I think the Hernandezs’ house guest has it right, they’re space aliens.” This whack suggestion came from Doug Hertz, a Barrow citizen at present deeply regretting he didn’t take up a maiden aunt’s offer to spend Christmas in Toledo with her.

Denise shook her head, vampires, aliens? Nothing made sense.

“Who the heck is the Hernadezs’ house guest?” Jake whispered in the same quiet terrified hush everyone else was conversing in.

“Dunno,” Mrs. Fung an old lady splattered in blood, contributed in a frail voice, “but the girlie saved my life.” Mrs Fung shivered and Lucy hugged her comfortingly. “Oh, and she’s blue, - carries a huge sword around with her.”

With a shake of her head that made the remaining snow on her parka hood fall onto the diner floor, Denise signaled she hadn’t run into anyone like that. After all, you’d remember.

Huddled in the attic in her lightless home, Melanie tried to comfort the kids and keep Leroy from passing out again.

With his sword at the ready Spike stood at the alert atop the narrow stairwell that led to the attic. He planned to lop the head off any nosferatu that stuck their head up to investigate the Hernadezs’ bolt hole. “They can smell the blood, see. How they might find us, but if they spot your broken kitchen window they’ll assume your happy family’s been taken care of already.”

“Right,” Melanie nodded in understanding. “So how come you don’t have superpowers?”

“I used to, slightly lesser strain of the alien virus. But I got cured.” Spike smiled confidently but his body language betrayed his inadequate feeling from the neck down. “So I can protect you and the wee sprogs, but taking on the whole merry band? Well I still could give the ugly sods a run for their money… of course.”

“Of course,” Melanie agreed quickly.

“I’m not some brooding poofter with a lowset brow, I’ve come to terms with my richly deserved humanity.” Spike insisted in a vehement quiet voice.

“I’m sure you have.” Melanie held Sarah’s hand. She didn’t understand every second sentence Spike uttered and it held nothing to do with him being a cockney or whatever. Spike was just plain odd, poets that used to be infected with an alien virus that made you want to drink blood, must be like that she decided.

“So did you have fangs and long black nails too, Spike? How did you get cured?” Sarah asked across the black room to her hero. Spike had saved her from the scary monster lady. He was handsome and could pull an egg out of her ear. Sarah was in love.

“Well it’s a long story, moppet, and it starts with a lady.” Spike explained.

“Fred?” Sarah settled comfortably in between her mother and prone father.

“Nah, Buffy her name is.” He emitted a slight nostalgic sigh.

Melanie stiffened in loyal indignation, what an a’hole Spike was, pining after this ‘Buffy’ when he had a wonderful gal like Winfred Burkle as a girlfriend.

Spike shifted his sword slightly in order to scratch his knee. “Perhaps I should explain everything from the beginning like.”

Leroy held his thumb up weakly from where he sprawled on the floor. “Amen to that idea, bud.”

In a small wooden frame house a fur trapper and his wife were entertaining unexpected company.

The two lead nosferatu - Marlow and Iris, were having a jolly time torturing the trapper and his wife in their front parlor.

The trapper had shot Marlow in the chest with a shotgun to no avail.

The woman (pinned down by Iris) and her husband screamed together as Marlow impaled the plaid wearing bearded trapper to the wall with a poker from the fireplace.

The woman looked straight up into Iris’s animalistic merciless eyes and opened her mouth to scream again.

Iris opened her fanged crimson blood smeared mouth to refeed.

An eerie high pitched scream of alarm came from a fellow nosferatu outside.

The sound made Iris pause – this was unusual. What did the nosferatu have to be alarmed about as they went about their northern vacation?

Lifting his blood soaked talon from a record on a turntable, (he liked classical music and ruining things) Marlow beckoned Iris to leave with him and investigate with an impatient bark.

With an unforgiving swipe Iris backhanded her dinner to make it stay put.


Back in the attic Spike never adverse to the sound of his own voice held court to his captive audience. “So what could I do?”

“And Buffy’s in Europe last you heard and you’re too shy to go find her because you’re not sure what you can offer her as a human?” Melanie was utterly entranced by Spike’s tale of lost love. “Because you’re not super strong anymore and are now a struggling poet?”

“In a nutshell, luv, yeah.” Spike agreed, “Course I’m not that struggling, I withdrew mucho moola from Evil Law Firm’s coffers before me and Blue disappeared off their radar from good. Amazing that W&H managed to hush up the dragon when you think about it.”

“Yeah,” Leroy groaned scathingly from down on the floor, he couldn’t believe Melanie believed this pathological liar, demons, supernatural law firms run by vampire ex-private detectives, Spike was a complete nut job.

Leaving the trapper’s trashed residence, Iris and Marlow stalked through the snow with evil grace.

Rounding a corner the two came to one of Barrow’s crossroads - there was shotgun gunfire from two bearded male humans defending their families, combined with the noise of the screeching, tearing and ripping coming from the four nosferatu attacking them. Normal.

But in the middle of the snow covered, frozen, dirt road there was a leather clad warrioress taking on six nosferatu at once, in a blue tressed blur of steel sword and gauntleted fist.

Archikc!” squawked Marlow to Iris, which in their ancient and cruel language meant ‘what the fuck?’

Down the street Eben and Stella had been on the verge of having their police vehicle overturned by nosferatu.

Hideously strong, the nosferatu were in the process of tipping Eben and Stella over in order to mutilate and then feast upon them before Illyria managed to ruin their fun.

Their vehicle’s tires punctured, a stranded Eben and Stella raced for shelter hiding under a house, and then watched on in amazement as Illyria dealt with all the nosferatu single handedly.

“Their bodies are dissolving into black slime, Eben!” Stella squeezed her husband’s arm in excitement as they hid in their icy hollow.

“I know.”

“She’s cutting all their heads off!” Stella wriggled in satisfied ecstasy.

“I know.”

“Why’s she blue?” Stella squinted in disbelief.

“That I don’t know - but whoa baby, blue chick’s hot.” Eben found himself slapped across the back of his head. He guessed if Stella could get jealous she still must care. Maybe their marriage could work…

Up in the Hernandez attic Spike waxed lyrically about Buffy’s appearance. “Her eyes were a penetrating green but not in an effulgent way as I’ve described in one of my own poems.”

“Dude, don’t give up your day job.” Leroy muttered weakly. Spike might actually be telling the truth. He twisted his head. “So uh, two centuries ago, what was your day job anyhoo?”

“I…” Spike didn’t want to explain the boring middle-class gentleman’s life he was born into. Luck came his way.

“Shush for a sec, matey?” Spike held up his hand for silence.

The Hernandez family held their collective breath.

The front door could be heard forced open downstairs.

An item of furniture was overturned with a loud crash.

Footsteps could be heard running up the first flight of stairs pell mell.

The door to the attic stairs was burst open.

A leaping Nosferatu jumped up onto the attic landing, with a fluid spring.

With split second timing brought about by years of experience and an impetuous heart of pure gold, Spike swung and beheaded the Nosferatu in a single stroke of his great sword.

“Oh wow!” Kevin’s mouth hung open in appreciation of Spike's sword-handling skills. “Can you do it again?”


“What are you?” Mallow croaked out in the human tongue with effort.

Facing Mallow from across a pile of rapidly dissolving bodies composed of his fallen brethren, Illyria gave an icy sneer of triumph. “Your superior. Now depart and make me tarry no more in my quest to restore electricity to this humble village.”


The remaining seven nosferatu left with their heads attached fled across the snow to begin the long trudge and then row to their ship anchored in Barrow's tiny harbor.

You thought you were so clever, that we would remain legend, untraceable.” Marrow barked to Iris in accusatory howls.

Yip, click, grunt, yip, argh.” Iris replied in the ancient tongue which translated means. “Well then, you freaking organize our pack’s next freaking Christmas vacation, if you’re so freaking smart.”


Electricity restored and all flesh wounds treated with ultra violet light, the sixty surviving townsfolk of Barrow crowded into their small inter-denomination church the next day to give thanks to God.

“It’s me they should be thanking. Yahweh didn’t help them, I did.” Illyria pouted to Spike as he smoked on the small church’s front porch. “I don’t know why he gave up having burnt animals as a sacrificial offering to him either.”

“They did all thank you, Blue, well your Fred shell in any case.” Spike flicked his cigarette butt away. “And they’ve all agreed to explain away the whole sorry incident to the authorities as a group of attacking fur seals with rabies, so we’ll be safe.”

“I’m always safe.” Illyria cut in hotly. “It’s you who is in perpetual danger now you are a permanently an ape.”

“I know.” Spike grinned with determination. “But I managed to successfully defend two kids, a woman and an injured man against a missing link on the vampire family tree. So I’m reckoning maybe Buffy won’t find me right useless as a human male. I’m going to Scotland as soon as I can and seeing I’m a man not a mouse I’ll find out where I stand with her once and for all.”

“I understand not.” Illyria frowned, “If Buffy is your one true love why were you engaging in precopulation rituals with Denise under foliage?”

“A snog under the mistletoe with a pretty girl is harmless enough seasonal fun.” Spike chuckled. “Oi, and Blue? Merry Christmas.”


There was a grim set to Melanie’s mouth as she watched Fred make the gravy for the roast sweet potatoes that accompanied Christmas lunch in the Hernandez house. She’d been stewing over something since they came back from church.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’d been taken over by a prehistoric goddess and are now immortal?” Melanie finally burst out to Fred, “Or that you’d been a slave in a hell dimension six years ago?”

“Well Mel, I didn’t want to upset you I guess.” Fred wiped a floury hand on a dishcloth. “I’m sure a heap of sorrys if I’ve made you mad.”

“You have, friends are meant to be honest!” Melanie mashed potatoes with a frenzy that made the innocent root vegetables not stand a chance against her.

“You’re just feeling ornery ‘cause you’ve found out aliens aren’t real.” Fred stirred the gravy calmly.

“No, I’m not.” Melanie denied, thumping the potato pot down on the kitchen bench with a bang.

“Yes, you are.”

In the living room, Spike winked at Leroy as the men played Go Fish with the kids.

The two men weren’t in the least concerned about the heated argument coming from the kitchen because both knew that old pals can sometimes have tiffs but true friends always make up.


AN: The name Melanie comes from Melanie Wilkes and the book Gone With the Wind a Southern Belle best friend if ever there was one.

The inspiration for Mel and her family - came from the song Anchorage, by Michelle Shocked.

I took time out to write to my old friend
I walked across that burning bridge
Mailed my letter off to Dallas
But her reply came from Anchorage, Alaska

She said:
"Hey girl, it's about time you wrote
It's been over two years you know, my old friend
Take me back to the days of the foreign telegrams
And the all-night rock and rollin'... hey Shell
We was wild then

Hey Shell, you know it's kind of funny
Texas always seemed so big
But you know you're in the largest state in the union
When you're anchored down in Anchorage

Hey Girl, I think the last time I saw you
Was on me and Leroy's wedding day
What was the name of that love song they played?
I forgot how it goes
I don't recall how it goes

Anchored down in Anchorage

Leroy got a better job so we moved
Kevin lost a tooth now he's started school
I got a brand new eight month old baby girl
I sound like a housewife
Hey Shell, I think I'm a housewife

Hey Girl, what's it like to be in New York?
New York City - imagine that!
Tell me, what's it like to be a skateboard punk rocker?

Leroy says "Send a picture"
Leroy says "Hello"
Leroy says "Oh, keep on rocking, girl"
"yeah, keep on rocking"

Hey Shell, you know it's kind of funny
Texas always seemed so big
But you know you're in the largest state in the union
When you're anchored down in Anchorage
Oh, Anchorage
Anchored down in Anchorage
Oh, Anchorage

The End

You have reached the end of "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow". This story is complete.

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