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He's Got Garlic in His Soul?

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Summary: Angel drags out part of his sordid past.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Literature > Childrens/Teen > Author: Dr. Seuss(Past Donor)halfbloodpuffskinFR713961666215 Dec 0715 Dec 07Yes
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, more's the pity.

A/N: Yeah....hi! I played fast and loose with some timing, I suppose, but meh. Anyways, I decided that Whoville was in England, so I could play with Liam's (Angel) opinions a bit...have fun!


“ way, man. You gotta be kiddin' me!”

Angel Investigations, dubbed the “Fang Gang” by all and sundry, were gathered in the lobby of the Hyperion, with every human member staring opened-mouthed at the vampire. Lorne simply blinked for a second, then stepped behind the counter to fix himself a drink. All Angel did was glare.

“It's no big deal, Gunn. Don't know why I told you guys anyways,” he muttered.

“ you...and then...”

Cordelia smirked at Fred, who looked had stopped, completely unable to say anything. The seer turned back to Angel, grinning.

“So, tell us, what's it like to be immortalized in a children's story? Reaching a new demographic beyond the stuffy and British,” she said, ignoring Wesley's “Excuse me!”

Angel's look could have peeled a Fyarl.

Fred, meanwhile, was still trying to equate her employer with her favorite Christmas story's main character.

“ stole...everything?” Angel was no proof against the teary Texan's eyes.

“Hey, I was evil back then! The very year I got the curse, in fact, so the worse I ever was! And frankly, those people were lucky I only took all their things. If you had ever HEARD this family, singing their insane little songs ALL day long! Like no one else in the world mattered! Who did they think they were, anyways?!”

Cordelia and Gunn looked at each other, grinning, before turning back and chorusing, “'Whos.”

Angel threw up his hands.

“Exactly! Whos! Conceited little Englishmen named their town after themselves. They were true idiots. I mean, they literally based their entire society on this one day. And Angelus, well, he just LOVED the idea of ruining their entire year. He was actually going to come back on Boxing Day to finish them all off, but Darla's Christmas present...”

“--Was a gypsy girl.” Wesley said, nodding. Angel sighed, while Cordy smiled evilly.

"And his heart grew three sizes that day!"

“One of them saw me returning everything the next day. Next thing I know, one of the children's children show up in America rhyming part of my life, complete with illustrations.”

“Part of your death, Angel-cakes.” Lorne called out from behind the counter. Angel glared...again.

“But...wasn't the Grinch all green and hairy?” Fred wondered aloud.

Angel glared at the floor and crossed her arms in full brood mode. “All that anti-Irish bigotry. I hate the English.”

The End

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