Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss Whedon everything - meaning Bfufy and Firefly. Literally. Writing in fandoms created by the same person saves so much disclaimer space. If you don't rant about it...

A/N: This was specifically written for Anneliese who asked for....well, this. I won't give it all away now. I hope you enjoy your present and don't work yourself too hard, sweets. Unfortunately, it's not as long as last year.

Thanks to Amusewithaview for beta.

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Dinosaur

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Bang.

Mal slapped one of Wash's dinosaurs, still not removed from the bridge after almost a year, down. The rubber monster bounced back and onto the floor.

Bang.

With a growl and a frown, the Captain picked it back up and set it down more carefully before throwing himself into the nearest chair.

Bang.

"WHAT?"

Outside the locked door an annoyed huff could be heard followed by an, "Are you gonna let me in anytime soon?"

"If that was the plan, I'da done it ten minutes ago." He threw his feet up on the consoles and slouched farther down.

"I'm more stubborn than you." Oh, how he hated that sing song voice.

"Go away, gorram woman!"

The huff turned into a sigh and the incessant banging stopped in favour of a dull thud as she leaned against the metal wall outside. "Mal, I'm not leaving. You might as well let me in."

"No." The dinosaurs were smirking at him, he was sure. Damn things. If they weren't Wash's he'd have shot them into space a long time ago.

"Mal, you've locked yourself into the bridge for Twinkies' sake! You can't sulk in there forever."

"I'm not sulkin'!" He wasn't. Really. He wasn't. He hadn't done nothin' wrong at all.

A growl and the sound of a delicate fist denting his precious door. "Well, whaddaya call it then?"

Wash's or not, the dinosaur hit the wall with a very satisfying smack, leaving skid marks of cheap plastic on metal.

"I'm not callin' it nothin'," he snapped at the closed door, "This baby is my ship and if I want to lock myself in here to rot then that ain't no-one's business but my own!"

"Not for five damn hours!"

There was a beat of silence. Then, "Ten… Nine…. Eight…"

"What are you doin'?"

"Counting down to zero."

Mal sat up a bit straighter. He knew the gorram woman's ultimatums and it was better to pay attention when she started counting. "And then?"

"Five…. Four….Three….Then I'm kicking down the door."

The Captain was on his feet before she had finished her sentence, sprinting toward the locked door. He slapped one palm flat against it as he undid the locks with the other one, ripping it open just as the tiny blonde on the other side reached the end of her countdown.

"Damn it, woman, don't go threatening Serenity."

She gave him a saucy grin as she pushed him out of the way with one delicate hand to his chest and sauntered past him into the room. By the time he had turned around to glare at her, she was already lounging in his chair, the missile-dino sitting idly in her lap.

"If it serves it's purpose," she decided, not sounding anywhere near concerned enough about the state of his ship. He still had nightmares about the one time she had, quite literally, put her foot down during a fight between Simon and Jayne. River had painted the boot-shaped dent in the floor a bright yellow and called it a 'big step for mankind’, bless her insane little brain.

"So what's got you sulking?"

He snatched the dino away from her and put it back in its proper place for the umpteenth time in the last five hours. He was beginning to understand why Wash had been so fond of them. They had therapeutic value.

"I told ya, I'm not sulking!"

She shrugged, fingers wandering aimlessly over the many switches and buttons in front of her.

"Brooding then." Forget the dinosaurs, he was going to send her on an open-ended vacation in space. Too bad she'd probably just hold on to the outside until they landed the next time. Too stubborn to even die, that woman. Why'd he always end up with the crazy super-women? River was bad enough, but Buffy? The immortal whatsitcalled from Earth That Was?

He never should have let her set foot on his ship. He'd known she was trouble from day one, really.

Except that he really hadn't and he hadn't known she beat River single-handedly in the freak department until she'd been part of his crew for nearly three months. And of course he had to find out through her jumping into the way of a bullet meant for him. Taken it right to the heart, she had. Shoulda been dead. Instead she'd bitched at the good doc to dig out the bullet and after the blood was gone Mal had carried her to his room and had his wicked way with her, all out of gratitude and the joy of being alive.

After that, he'd never really managed to get rid of her. Not that he minded her. Much. She was handy to have around and witty and funny and a good fighter to boot but she was too stubborn, pounding on doors for hours just to get her way when he was trying to have a good sulk….brood.

"Nothing."

She grinned at him, "Did you know, you suck ass as a liar."

And that stupid slang of hers, had he mentioned that yet? He didn't understand half of what she was saying most of the time.

"I'm a great liar, lady!"

"Not once you slept with the person you're trying to lie to. Or said person is River."

"Ain't no-one can lie to River. And I'm a good liar."

She waved her hand wildly in front of her face, making hissing sounds and rolling her eyes. Jayne said it meant it was that time of the month. Mal, who knew that Buffy hadn't had this time of the month since 2056 and an unfortunate incident involving radiation and something called Illyria, was pretty sure it meant she wasn't interested in whatever he had to say. No respect, the woman. No respect at all, for him or his Serenity.

"Want me to take a wild guess?"

He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring sullenly at her as he snapped a sharp, "No." Then, "'Bout what?"

"About why you're sulking in here like a child that watched his teddy bear get shot in the head."

Mal was pretty sure there was no such things as shot teddy bears but he was getting angry and so he didn't particularly care. "I AM NOT SULKING."

"Because they shot your idea down," she said, completely ignoring his protests as she stopped fiddling with the consoles and lost her shit-eating expression. It took less than two seconds for her to lose the girl and become all worn soldier. It sent a shudder down his spine every single time and he found himself uncrossing his arms even as he tensed up a bit.

Things never got any more comfortable when she was wearing that look. It was all darkness and pain and Mal never ever wanted to know where it came from. Uncomfortable, he shifted from one foot to the other before leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets. It wasn't Buffy's fault that she sometimes put him on edge with the ancient look of hers.

The girl in question was leaning forward in her seat, staring at him with solemn eyes. After a few minutes, the Captain relented and ran a hand through his hair.

"That wasn't shooting down. I've seen shooting down. Done some o'it myself. That was shooting it down, trampling on it and spitting on it for good measure."

He glared at her, waiting for her to defend his crew. He was sure that's what they'd sent her for in the first place. Instead she leaned back, picking on a loose thread on her left sleeve, her eyes never leaving his.

"Yes, it was."

"You're agreein' with me? Just like that?"

She nodded decisively, "Sure am."

"Then why are you pokin' at me?"

"I don't 'poke.'" The intensity of her gaze lessened somewhat as she pouted prettily, half girl, half angel of wrath. His Mum had told him about those when he'd been a wee little kid but he hadn't understood how terrifying they truly were until he'd picked her up.

"Buff…."

"I'm not here because of them. I'm here because of you." And now she was reading his thoughts again.

"I'm peachy."

"The hell you are!"

"Buffy…"

"Don't you Buffy me. I'll make you sleep on the couch if you do."

He looked at her for a very long moment before declaring carefully, "We don't have a couch."

"Guess you'll have to make do with the floor then, now listen!"

Mal suppressed a wince as he remembered the one and only time she'd made him seek refuge on the floor after a nasty fight. He straightened, giving up his post against the wall to pick up the dinosaur once more. "I'm listening."

She snorted, "No you're not. You're being a stubborn jerk."

"Am not!"

"Then sit down and stop fiddling," she snapped for the first time, snatching the toy out of his hands and placing it down out of his reach.

He glared at her, cursing inside his head. She watched him for a moment before raising one delicate eyebrow. "Couch," she sing-songed.

He sat down, smacking the armrests with more oomph than was strictly necessary to make his displeasure known. She should just leave him alone.

Buffy's look lost all fire as soon as he was seated, turning gentle. "They didn't mean to hurt you, you know?"

"They didn't." He squinted at the screen next to him.

"Yes they did. They were hurtful and mean and practically declared you insane all within five minutes."

His head snapped around as he clenched his jaw. "Damn right, they did."

"And they didn't mean it."

"Don't matter none. I'm the Cap'n. They're supposed to do as I say, not mutineer."

She leaned back, stretching her legs in front of her. "Yeah, but they're also your family and that's what makes it hurt, isn't it?"

"They had no right to act like that."

"They didn't mean half of what they said and you know it."

"Do I?"

"Yeah you do. And you've got to admit that you're not asking them for a walk in the park."

"I'm…"

She cut him off with a sharp motion of her hand and his mouth closed with a sharp snap. "You asked them to wage war on the Academy, Mal. The Academy is the Alliance and Blue Sun. Going up against them is insane. So you weakened their good standing with the public last year with your little stunt. A stunt that almost killed you all, if you're honest and don't play hero for a moment. People not liking them doesn't make them any less dangerous. What you suggest means walking into the lion's den with a bloody steak tied to your back."

"What the…." He was on his feet as fast as a bullet, angrier than before she'd come to talk him down. Of everyone on the ship, he'd have thought she would understand! She, who walked onto a ship filled with Reavers armed with nothing but two knives and came back out, wearing blood and a smile that could freeze lava.

She moved even faster, grabbing him by the shoulders and slamming his taller fame back into the chair he'd just risen from. He pushed against her grip but didn't stand a chance, so he stopped struggling after a minute.

Then she loosened her grip but didn't let go as she went on, "Those are the facts and you can't deny it. That doesn't mean it isn't necessary. Someone needs to take down the Academy, we agree on that."

He sank back into the cushions, staring at her quizzically. Buffy let go of his shoulders with a sigh, going down on her knees, hands on his thighs, looking up at him with tired eyes. "It needs to be done. And no-one else is willing to do it. They'll come around. They'll see things the same way you do. If we don't stop them, they'll produce hundreds of Rivers and they'll kill a thousand Mr. Universes and a million Washs."

Mal looked, without even noticing it, at the sad plastic dinosaurs waiting for someone to put them away. "I know that," he said, almost whispering, "Why don't they see that?"

She ran a hand up his arm, calming, slow. "Zoey is still grieving. Inara hates fighting. River is scared. Simon is scared for River. Kaylee is scared for Simon and River and Zoe."

"What's your excuse for Jayne?"

"Huh? Jayne? He's just being Jayne."

Mal couldn't help the snort that escaped him at that. Yes, Jayne was just being Jayne by calling him insane.

"But you know what?"

He took her tiny hand in his, waiting for her to go on just like he knew she would. "Zoey is also angry and River is strong and Simon has seen the evil the Academy does. Kaylee will never let them go alone and neither will Inara and Jayne is happy as long as there's violence."

"You think?"

"I know."

"I'm their Cap'n and they told me to get lost."

"No, Mal. They were shocked. And scared and all those things I already told you about but you know what?"

Playing along nicely, Mal shook his head, asking, "What?"

"I'm more than five hundred years old. I've seen a lot of things in my time. I've seen hate and anger and despair, rage, envy, fear and depression. I've also seen love, loyalty, hope and joy, although less often because that's just how the world is. But there is one thing that I haven't seen since I was mortal and waiting for the gates of hell to open and that is friendship. Real friendship, Mal. More than blood ties, more than the loyalty of a soldier. More than happiness and joy and all good things in the 'verse.

I stood there, that day with my friends and a whole lot of scared girls and we knew that some of us wouldn't make it out alive. But we also knew that we were doing the right thing. And we were doing it together, Mal. All of us. And that's what you have here. The people on this ship have that kind of friendship, the kind I haven't seen in so long. Go to them, talk to them. Tell them why and how and who. Tell them. And they'll yell and kick and balk and in the end they'll be right beside you. Because they're your friends and that's what friends do."

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"So that's it. I'm the Cap'n and I say we're going in there and take the Academy down." Mal said, standing in front of his crew, tall and proud like the soldier he was deep down. Buffy stood half a step behind him to his right, arms loosely at her sides, looking relaxed. He knew that underneath she was coiled tightly as a spring. "I ain't going to force you to follow me but I hope you will because God knows, it needs doin'."

With that he spun on his heel and marched out of the room leaving behind him a very silent room. Even River was silent as a mouse, looking around with big eyes.

After a few minutes she bent over backwards until her hands touched the floor and then walked over to Simon on her hands, giving him a solemn upside down look. "You shouldn't be scared, Simon. The hands, two by two, hands of blue, they need to be chopped off and Mal has got a big knife, he does. He'll make it so there'll be no more little Rivers at all. No more claws and teeth, he's saving girls now, not killing them, no no."

She landed in a graceful arch on her feet and calmly walked back to her seat, leaving everyone dumbfounded. Everyone except Buffy, who's eyes had widened at the mention of claws and teeth even as she took two steps back to disappear into the shadows, not wanting to intrude on the crew's decision. She liked them all well enough and they liked her, but when it came to personal things, they all liked to keep their distance from her. She was too alien for them to ever really understand and she knew it.

Jayne shrugged and went to unpack Vera.

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An hour later, Mal came marching back into the room, face stoney, ready for anything. Well, anything except Kaylee's simple, "We're in, boss."

Buffy came gliding out of the shadows near the door like a ghost. She had a tendency to do that and Mal was pretty sure sometimes she did it just to remind the crew of who and what she was. Not out of arrogance but caution.

"Told ya," she said, sounding smug.

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It was long past midnight when Buffy heard light steps on the metal walkway behind her. To human ears they would have been inaudible.

River came to a halt beside her and without conscious thought, the slayer’s hand moved to stroke the other girl’s hair out of her face carefully. The two of them never talked much, but then they didn’t need to. Girls with death in their heads and hands were the same, no matter where they came from. Or when.

They stayed like that for a while, silently standing side by side staring out at the stars floating by as they drifted through space. After what seemed forever, River leaned into Buffy, snuggling her head into the smaller woman’s shoulder.

“He killed the girls, you know?”

Buffy nodded, picking up a slow rhythm to run her hand over River’s long hair. “I know. I was there.”

“You lost your friends, they all ran away and he killed the girls but now he’s saving them and you know what that means?”

The slayer gave a rueful smile, “That I don’t have to kill him?”

She earned herself a slap on the arm for that. “Silly. It means you got your friends back. No more lonely Buffy walking through the desert.”

The slayer snorted. Sometimes, River was all too lucid, even if she was still spouting knowledge of things that had ended centuries before she’d been born. But really, she didn’t mind the girl digging through her head as much as she thought she would. It was nice to have someone around who understood.

Someone who didn’t need to say it out loud for her to get the message that things were going to be okay. Because they would be.

River closed her eyes and Buffy took a deep breath.

It had taken five hundred years, but this ship almost smelled like home.

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Fin

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