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Where am I?

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Summary: Post S5, where will the portal spit Buffy out this time? AU, mid S3 Farscape, possibly some AU for BtVS, haven't decided yet :)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > FarscapeShezziFR1577,42603113,87525 Dec 0724 Nov 09No

Languages? Why does it have to be languages?

A/N: OK, new chapter! so sorry it takes me so long, life has gotten...interesting. I'll try to update again soon, but i've learnt not to make promises I can't keep! please review, tell me what you'd like to see (You man inspire me to update sooner!) love xx Shezzi

OH, I got told this the other day and thought you guys might enjoy it:

The Jam on Toast Tied to the Back of a Cat Theory of Perpetual Motion

You know that jam on toast ALWAYS falls face down?

And a cat ALWAYS lands on its feet?

If you strap the jam on toast to the back of a cat, it should, in theory, remain levitated.




Several hours later, when the girl showed no signs of waking, John and Aeryn retired to their bunk to continue what had been interrupted in the training room.

Chiana joined Zhaan in the medlab, sending Stark off to get some food, and they sat, watching the girl. “Who do you think she is?” the young Nebari asked, eyeing the girl curiously.

Zhaan stood and started to dress the girl in a loose fitting robe as she replied. “I am unsure what I believe, but I find it doubtful that she is not what she is telling us, simply because she has so much knowledge of his planet. We have found no one else who speaks John's language, but she does, and she can't use translator microbes. I've checked, she doesn't have them, and when the DRD gave her a dose earlier, she had a seizure, and her body seems to have literally destroyed them, there's no trace of them in her system. I believe we would be wise to give her the benefit of the doubt for now, and see how things play out.”

Suddenly, the girl on the bed twitched, then moved in her sleep, rolling onto her side. Her eyes opened, and she stared before the light of memory filled them.

Buffy frowned slightly, concentrating. She normally messed up names, most of the time on purpose, to piss of the bad guys, but she didn't want to do that this time, so she concentrated.

“Chiana and Zhaan, right?” they both nodded. Zhaan said something in her musical language, but Buffy shook her head. “We're going to have to do something about this...I can't be out in the middle of another galaxy and be unable to understand anyone. You guys will have to teach me your language.”

She pushed herself up off the bed, stretching sore muscles. “No time like the present, I suppose...names are good. What do you call this?” She held up the blanket. Chiana stepped forward.

“Pitz-ghal,” she told the other girl carefully.

“Pitz-ghal,” repeated Buffy.

“Fallure,” Zhaan told her.

“More than one language?” They both nodded. “It's official. The universe hates me!” Buffy glared at the ceiling. “I'm sure you think this is flipping hilarious, Whistler! Just remember, I see your face, and I'm getting myself a nice new hat, so laugh it up, but stay the hell away!”

The two aliens stared at the young girl, unsure how to respond to her. She stopped yelling, and the silence was deafening, until her stomach growled loudly.

Buffy flushed, embarrassed at being betrayed by her body. “Could I get something to eat?” she asked, uncertain.

“I'll take her up,” Chiana told Zhaan. “You should get some rest, you must be exhausted.” Zhaan nodded her agreement, and Chiana motioned for Buffy to come with her.

Buffy followed the grey girl up the corridor, asking for names of different things as they went.

Chiana led Buffy to the kitchen, occaisionally laughing at her odd comments. When she laughed, Buffy would grin, clearly recognising the action for what it was. She led her into the galley and sat her down at the table, then started getting the food. They were once more reduced to food cubes, but at least they were fresh, although bland. Grabbing water from the refrigiration unit, she returned to the table.

“Jut-ruh” Eat, she told Buffy, performing the action herself so that the girl would connect the word with it.

Buffy took one of the red-brown pieces and studied it, before raising it to her lips. She took a bite and had to force herself to chew it, not to spit it straight back out. She supposed she had tasted worse things, but that had been in battle, when various liquids had a tendency to be splashed in her face.

Chiana laughed at the look on the human girl's face. Buffy mock-glared at her while taking a second bite of the cube, washing it down with a mouthful of water. It wasn't so bad, she supposed, just not...nice.

Suddenly, a voice spoke from by the door. “If you think that's bad, you should have been here the time I tried to cook den-tics...that was truly foul.”

Buffy twisted in her seat to see John and Aeryn standing in the doorway.

“Nice to see you up and about,” John said, grinning.

“Hello,” Aeryn added, eyeing the girl.

“Hi,” Buffy said, suddenly feeling strangely shy. It was as though her lack of understanding had been a comfort, made it impossible for them to question her. “Chiana's been teaching me some of her language,” she grinned slightly.

“Good idea,” John approved, and Aeryn nodded, even as the two of them moved through the kitchen, getting their own food. “I think we can also help with that. You'll need to learn more than one language, though. Aeryn's in particular will be useful, it's the most widely used in this galaxy.”

“Multiple languages. Why does it have to be multiple languages?” Buffy grumbled to herself.

“We will all help you,” Aeryn told her haltingly.

Buffy smiled, and nodded her thanks. “Though I get the feeling I'm going to need to learn more than just how to speak if I'm going to blend in around here,” she grinned, tugging at her robe.

John grinned and nodded. “We'll get you some clothes as soon as possible, until them I think Chiana probably has some things that would fit.”

The young Nebari nodded, smiling at her new friend.

“Great,” replied Buffy, biting into another food cube and actually finding the taste almost pleasant.
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