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His Vileness

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Summary: “Now, let’s continue to blast these flying-triangles out of the air.”

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > Andrew-CenteredLisaFR1317011193618 Jan 0818 Jan 08Yes
Title: His Vileness
Author: Lisa
Status: Completed One-Shot
Rating: PG
Fandom: BtVS/SPN
Character(s) and/or Pairing(s): Andrew Wells, Harry Spangler, Ed Zeddmore
Genre: Humor
Summary: “Now, let’s continue to blast these flying-triangles out of the air.”
Challenge: Round 1: Challenge 1 – Robots and/or Technology @ spn_twisted (Team: BtVS)
Spoilers: SPN 1x17 (Hell House)
Disclaimer: ”Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and all related characters are copyright of Joss Whedon & Me. ”Supernatural” and all related characters are copyright of Eric Kripke & Kripke Enterprises. No infringement intended.
Resources: Star Wars’ slang was found over at Wookieepedia
Distribution: Not without permission from myself.
AN: Thanks to Ky for beta’ing this piece and for Kristi taking a look-see. xoxo

It was like walking into a shrine for all things science fiction. It was the ultimate geek-dom and what you’d expect from a person who laminated their “Star Wars: Hyperspace” membership cards and kept the old ones in a safe sealed display case.

Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica and Star Trek were the most represented themes. Various promo posters were plastered on the walls; a few limited edition posters were framed and proudly displayed with pot lights angled to shine down on them. Opposite the door was a wall of sturdy bookshelves filled with fandom-focused books. “ghilghameS: A Klingon Translation”, “The Klingon Dictionary”, “Star Wars: Galactic Phrase Book & Travel Guide” and “Jedi vs. Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force” were a few of the names in the collection. The bottom shelves were stuffed with comic books, some kept in plastic cover sheets.

Planking the Sharpe thirty-six inch LCD television, which perched on a stand, were glass display cases. Mini pot lights shone above, illuminating the collection of action figures and prop replicas. Beside each replica was its certificate of authenticity.

“You’ll be bantha fodder before I’d trade my Luke Skywalker Limited Edition Blaster replica for your Plo Koon action figure.” Andrew spoke boldly into the sleek Halo 3 edition headset that was wrapped around the back of his head. The wire from the headset hung from his head and was connected to the wireless three sixty controller that his hands gripped tightly. The Xbox 360 hummed and filled the room with a familiar grey noise as he punched a series of buttons, bringing up the menu for the pirated copy of “Star Wars: The Force Unleashed” he’d snagged.

The five foot seven Watcher in training was sitting, his back hunched to be closer to the television, on a replica of Captain Picard’s chair from “Star Trek: The Next Generation”. One of his most prized possessions and something that he knew Xander secretly coveted.

“Andrew, don’t be such a son of a bantha.” The voice snapped back. Within seconds two voices bickering could be heard.

The second voice came across cyber space and into Andrew’s ear. “Harry’s just pissed you won’t get him a signed picture of The Slayer for his ‘What Would Buffy Do?’ shrine.”

A heavy sigh escaped Andrew’s parted lips before he reached into the bowl next to him. Plopping a few gummy bears into his mouth, he listened as Harry called Ed a huk. A ‘thwack’ was heard before Ed apologized somberly.

Breaking into the friends spat, Andrew spoke, “The Chosen One doesn’t like when I take pictures of her. I’m still bruised from when she caught me.” Andrew winced at the vivid memory of Buffy grabbing his arm tightly before she ripped his digital camera out of his hands. Then she offered a beautiful, yet violent, demonstration of why she wasn’t someone to mess with. All it took was a simple squeeze of her delicate fingers and she’d shattered his camera into unfixable pieces with a promise to do the same to his arm if he ever tried it again.

Muttering, he rolled his still ‘sore’ shoulder. “I think she gave me a rash.”

“Where’s your gorram emwhulb Jedi?” Harry was speaking again.

“Trying to sneak up on the blonde one is a wild yunax chase. Give me time my young Padawans, I’ll get your picture.” Leaning back in his chair, he rested his elbow on the arm in the same way Picard would before he’d speak the phrase ‘Ensign, make it so.’

“Now, let’s continue to blast these flying-triangles out of the air.”

Completed: January 18, 2008

The End

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