Title: Of Chaos and Civil War
Author: Blue Gold
Rating: PG - 13
Fandoms: Marvel Civil War
Summary: They may have saved the multiverse but control is still on Xander’s to do list
Author’s Note: Part of the same universe as Never Never Land, and focusing on the infamous Spider-man Press conference during the beginning of Civil War. Crack.
Xander was grinning; even with all his so called power nothing could beat a good comic book. Knowing that these characters existed in other worlds felt like a way to check up on his friends without jumping into the world.
Spike watched from across the room as Xander read the comic book, his grin fading and his frown deepening. “Xander it’s just a story.” He pointed out feeling the change in the air that usually led to an explosion of chaos.
“So we didn’t meet Batman, Superman, Spider-man…”
“Xander,” Spike sighed.
“I just don’t like where this seems to be going,” Xander admitted.
“What’s the problem?” Spike asked.
“Marvel is going through a civil war; they want all superheroes to register their identity. Iron-man is leading one side and Captain America is on the other. Iron man wants registration, and they are fighting for it, and are on the side of the ‘right’.”
“I would love to be a big bad in a world where the white hats are at each other’s throat. Didn’t they do that before? With the big robots?” Spike asked having heard quite a few comic stories from Xander.
“No that’s the mutant registration and sentinels. X-men same universe different group.”
“And what’s to stop their big bad from getting the list, and offing heroes in their sleep? Or better yet offing their family?”
“Well the biggest big bad literally, the Kingpin is in prison,” Xander explained as Spike walked over to sit at his side. While he wasn’t the biggest comic fan he could only listen to Xander going on and on about them especially on Wednesdays before he got curious.
Leaning over he saw a man talking to an old woman and peered up at Xander for clarification.
“Peter Parker and Aunt May.”
“Hmm,” was Spike’s reply as he watched Xander read. As silly as comic books were it was nothing compared to listening to ‘Miss Edith’ and Dru go on and on. And he could see that Xander was nearing the end and would be in the mood to patrol and play a bit of hero once done.
“That Idiot!” Xander suddenly exclaimed.
Spike barely had a chance to blink before his lover vanished and the comic fluttered to the couch. Groaning Spike picked up the comic surprised when pages started to add themselves to the end. He looked over at the last page that Xander had read and began to laugh.
Xander appeared in the middle of the press conference hovering over the press and glared at the now revealed Peter Parker.
“You idiot!” He yelled pointing at his childhood hero. Peter for his part was momentarily stunned; this man had appeared floating in the middle of the room and started yelling at him.
“You stupid, stupid, stupid, idiot, and you!” He yelled rounding on Tony Stark. “How much did you drink before coming up with this wacky non-plan?”
“Chaos and a former fan. This is worse than that clone crap!” Xander yelled as Peter flinched not liking to remember that aspect of his life existed. “How is this stupid thing a good idea? Heroes verses heroes and villains just dancing around willy nilly. And the Hulk, like that’s not going to come bite you in the ass.
“Seriously put the mask back on, go find Captain America and join the right side,” Xander snapped at Peter. “And you go to a bar; you made more sense as a drunk. You people are going to make start thinking DC are the sensible ones.”
“Kid I don’t know who you are…” Tony started and Xander waved a hand making his mouth disappear.
“Shh, now you,” he said landing on the stage besides Spider man. “You think this is the right thing to do? A good Idea?”
“Yes,” Peter said defiantly despite barely able to make his decision in all this time. If not for Aunt May he still might not be out here.
Xander glared, “Gwen Stacy.”
Peter staggered back. “You don’t think I thought of that?”
“What, is it better now that they have two targets to pick from? Oh and the kids, do you know how many people you just painted a bulls eye on? Hell J.J. is probably having an aneurysm as we speak.
“One sniper, one vindictive ass with bomb, one psycho, and you have dozens. You better pray the Kingpin isn’t watching and if he is that he is actually cut off. God, I’ll be reading S52 until you idiots fix this.”
“Even if I wanted to…”
“Oblivate,” Xander said calmly sending his power through cameras and screens so it touched everyone. Waving his had Spider-man’s mask was on and he smiled. “No one remembers the last five minutes. Please don’t make me have to choose Booster Gold as my favorite Superhero PLEASE.”
Peter stared as Xander vanished in a flash, a comic landing at his feet. ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Chaos God.’
“Uh yeah…” Peter started looking out at the crowd. He glanced over at Tony who still didn’t have a mouth and shook his head. “Sorry have to make a detour to a Sorcerer Supreme and get the boss man lips. By the way Registration? Dumb. Goodnight everybody!” Peter said grabbing a wide eyed Tony by the waist and heading out the back and swinging them towards Soho.
“I’m sure Dr. Strange can give you a mouth again,” Peter said simply. “And if not we just have to do something else really dumb and hope he comes back.” Perking up he looked at Tony. “I know we can give registered villains a pardon and use them to hunt down unregistered heroes,” Peter said sarcastically sure if he still could Tony would be frowning.
Xander landed on his couch to the sight of a laughing Spike holding the comic in one hand attempting to turn the page. “Well that worked out. Got back on my first try.”
Laughing Spike handed him the comic to show what had happened after he left the other dimension. Glancing at the image of the lip less Tony he laughed.
Disclaimer: I am the secret love child of Joss and Stan...what do you mean its not possible....fine then I don't own it....