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Summary: Various people react to the events of the Transformers movie.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > TransformersEvilAuthorFR13109,76604415,6532 Feb 0815 Feb 08No

The Briefing

After Action Review
By Nopporn Wongrassamee the Evil Author

Summary: Various people react to the events of the Transformers movie. First up, Secretary of Defense John Keller gets briefed on a few more things that he didn’t have “Need to Know” before.

Disclaimer: All things Transformers belong to Hasbro. All things Buffy belong to Joss. All things Stargate belong to… someone or other that is not me. And the Pentagon belongs to the U.S. government which itself theoretically belongs to the people *gag* *choke*,,, On with the story!

Office of Homeworld Security
The Pentagon
Washington D.C.
One week after the “Incident”

“Welcome to the Office of Homeworld Security, Mr. Secretary,” greeted Brigadier General Jack O’Neill as he ushered John Keller into his office.

“It’s a closet,” Keller said as he took in the cramped confines. The examination did not take long. It couldn’t even had he wanted it to.

“That it is, sir,” O’Neill confirmed as they took their seats.

“Why in God’s name is the fate of the world placed in such a tiny office space?” Keller asked indignantly.

“Several reasons, sir,” O’Neill replied. “One is that it helps maintain the secret that there even is an Office of Homeworld Security. Two, the Pentagon office mostly acts as a clearing house for… ah, esoteric intel and runs interference with the politicos so that our field people can get on with their jobs. And three, most of our budget actually goes to the various field installations that do most of the world saving anyway.”

There was a pause as the two men glared at each other. Finally, John Keller sighed.

“I’m sorry, General,” Keller said apologetically. “I’ve been having a hell of a week. First I find out our planet’s been invaded by aliens. Then I find our half the government already knows aliens exist!”

“Certainly not half, sir,” O’Neill said diplomatically.

“Seems like half,” Keller muttered. “Certainly half the Joint Chiefs. Why was it that I, the damned Secretary of Defense, didn’t have Need to Know about something like this? Who made that call?”

“The President.”

“Yeah, I’ll be giving him a piece of my mind later too,” Keller said dryly. “Now why don’t you tell me what I’m doing here?”

“I take it you’ve read up on the SGC and the Atlantis project?” O’Neill asked.

“I got most of the highlights,” Keller replied. “Instant travel across the galaxy and beyond. Parasitic snakes, Ancients, Ori, Wraith... I still can’t believe we’re running a two front intergalactic war.”

“Well, sir, I’m going to brief you on the analysis my people have been doing of our new arrivals,” O’Neill told him. “We’ve been analyzing the dead aliens, Sector’s Seven data, and the remains of the, um, locally created robots. And can I say it was really irritating to learn that we had an alien in the basement after we’d been fighting other aliens for ten years?”

“Welcome to the club,” Keller said, the first hint of humor in his voice.

“Thanks sir,” O’Neill replied with equal good humor. “Anyway, it turns out that on the scale of alien technology, these Autobots and Decepticons aren’t really all that advanced.”

“Excuse me?” Keller said, not quite believing what he was hearing. “They seemed pretty advanced to me.”

“Yeah, my people were pretty impressed too,” O’Neill admitted. “However, once we realized that the transformation ability was a result of the Cube, we took a look at their component technologies. Examination of the robots made by the Cube from our own technology showed that even though they could transform, they were still made of same materials and had the same parts as they did preCube. All the eggheads have come to the conclusion that the alien robots were originally created from a technology base about on par with that of what the Goa’uld have. While that’s advanced by Earth’s standards, it’s hardly top of the line.”

“What about their ability to transform?”

“That came from the Cube, sir,” O’Neill told him. “Technology wise, the Cube is a whole other ballgame entirely. In ten years of active Stargate operations, we’ve never seen anything like the Cube. The closest thing we’ve seen is the Dakara Superweapon, and that thing was the size of a mountain. The Cube’s energies look similar but not identical to what the Replicators used, but we’re not sure if there’s a connection there or if it’s just coincidence. But we’ve never seen anything that could change its size and mass the way the Cube could.”

“What about these Ancients?” Keller asked. “Aren’t they supposed to be the oldest and most advanced aliens with technologies that seem like magic? Couldn’t the Cube have been made by them?”

“That was our first thought,” O’Neill admitted. “But we’ve done a few interviews with the Autobots since the battle. These guys live a long time, sir, and they’ve been fighting each other almost as long.”

“How long?”

O’Niell took a breath. “Eleven million years… at least.”


“Eleven million years ago they started fighting each other,” O’Neill continued. “Four million years ago, they jettisoned the Cube into deep space. These guys live such a long time that while they know about faster than light technology, they apparently don’t use it all that much.”

“So they were made by the Ancients?” Keller asked.

“That’s just it, sir. We don’t think so,” O’Niell said. “According to our admittedly sketchy understanding of galactic history, the Autobots and Decepticons were around long before the Ancients arrived in our galaxy, and were around when the Ancients left. And the Cube is even older than they are, implying that there’s some alien race out there that is or was older and more advanced than the oldest most advanced race we know about. And knowing our luck, we’re going to run into them some day.”

“That’s… disturbing,” Keller said, rubbing the bridge of his nose as if he were developing a headache… or already had one.

“Yes it is, sir.”

“Have you started employing any of these Autobots in the Stargate Program?” Keller asked.

“We considered it, sir,” O’Neill answered. “In the end, we decided not to.”

“Why not?” Keller said, surprised. “I was under the impression that we needed all the help we can get.”

“First and foremost, we didn’t want them to get the idea that it was okay for them to kill us squishy humans… or anything that could be mistaken for human,” O’Neill told him. “Given their size, they might have a hard time telling the difference between the good guys and bad guys. Not only that,” O’Neill looked a bit embarrassed at this next admission, “they’re too big to fit through the Stargate. For that matter, they’re too big to even get through the SGC to the Stargate.”

“So, anything more I need to know about aliens?”

“No, sir, that just about everything I got on aliens,” O’Neill said.

“Can we learn anything more from studying the dead aliens?” Keller asked.

“Possibly,” O’Neill replied dubiously, “but most of the science types don’t think we’ll learn much more than what we already have. We’re better off trying to reverse engineer samples of alien technology that haven’t been messed with by the Cube.”

“Good,” Keller said thoughtfully. “Very good. I hope you won’t take it amiss if I find the prospect of us doing a real alien autopsy disturbing.”

“We’ve done alien autopsies before,” O’Niell replied with a slight grin. “Granted, the dead aliens were organic and not mechanical…”

“Please, General,” Keller interrupted, holding up his hand. “I don’t want to know.”

“Alright, sir.”

“Since we can’t learn anything of value from the dead aliens anyway,” Keller mused, “we might as well dispose of the bodies. Give them a proper burial where no one will find them. Maybe at sea.”

“If you say so, sir.”

“Well, if that’s all, General…”

“Actually, sir,” O’Neill interrupted, “There’s still half a briefing to go.”

“I thought you said we covered everything relevant about the aliens already,” Keller replied.

“Yes, sir, we did,” O’Niell said standing up. “But that’s not all there is on Homeworld Security.”

“What more is there?” Keller demanded as O’Niell went to the door.

“I think it would be better if one of my field agents explained,” O’Niell said as he opened the door. He stuck his head outside. “Major Finn, you can come in now.”
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